eclipse-chapter 1

Hi

If there is anyone who has a bit of time and could read and critique the first chapter of my book i will do the same for them. I know it might not be exactly some great story and that compared to the great writers who hang abotu abc my work will probably seem stupid and scottish and a waste of space 'and we dont usually get people like you about here' but i think in the few years i ahve been using the site my writing has improved and it would be good to get some feedback from other writers.

thanks if you can bother taking the time