A lakeland outing by Rosmar

http://www.abctales.com/node/550549

this is an excellent story of family life - once the kids have grown. I love the dad's efforts to get them all together to sort themselves out, and the selfishness of his brood and the sibling bickering that will ring true to lots of readers.

You have a great style and pace - the piece does not feel over long.

my main crit would be i did get confused over who is who, maybe a little more clarification, or it might be just me.

i don't like all the questions in the end paragraph - it almsot feels as if you weren't sure what to put.

I do like the very end line though.

I look forward to more of your writing.

Juliet