the newspaper seller

I chose this story to talk about simply because it is a story of the same theme which i have worked on recently.

Newspaper vendors seem to hold some kind of mystic quality. I think this is due to the fact that we realise that they see much more about city life than anyone can possibly imagine. But how did they get there. Most vendors seem to be more of an older persuassion and with this in mind suerly they are some of the more interesting characters about.

sabythepups story opens well. There is a hook in the first line which immedialty draws the reader in to wanting to know more.

What am i doing here?

Probably one of the most effective opening lines for a short story. The paragraph continues well giving the reader a bite at what it is about. I think the negative part of the first paragraph is in letting the reader know the person is selling newspapers in the second line. I feel if possible this should have been kept back to the last paragraph or erased completely. Apart from that it works well.

The second para goes on to inform more about the central character and what has happened to bring her here. I think maybe if the second para was written in a third persons voice it might help the writer become more descriptive and heighten the story in to a more poetical read.

The third para is accomplished in itself and helps bring the emotional turmoil over. Maybe if the dialouge was split form the main prose and lined on its own it could have a greater effect , with the vendors speech capitalised to distiguish it from the other dialoge which is happening,but never the less you can follow quite clearly and understand what is going on.

Again if the fourth and fifth was written in the third person it would help dramatise and bring a more poetical effect.

The sixth paragraph is great and helps set up the perfect ending which one could only expect from a story with such a name.

Paper paper get your paper here....

Well done sabtthepup an interesting story which is formed well, and the critic is only my personal opinion and in no way should undermine the strength of the story and with the voice which it was written in.