To eat an orange

Peel a clemetine or manderin and drop in red wine for about 30 mins - drink and eat. Yum!

It wasn't an attack, 1leg. It was merely, as you guessed, a pisshead post. But who doesn't? Yes, I'm kind of old-fashioned about a lot of things, though most of my friends are much younger than I am. I would propose reserved rather than retarded. Guarded, that's it. I've written lots of emotional stuff but I tend to reserve it for friends and family. Squirm? Oh yes, I've squirmed with the best of them. Who hasn't wished for a delete button on the threads? But.. The moving finger writes, and having writ... etc. But squirm doesn't apply to my post on this thread - all I was doing was recycling lines of poetry written by others. I hope you can at least try to understand that getting legless takes twice as much effort for us bipeds. Alternative ending - (I am Af Ucking Troll Aft Erall!!) No way are you the wind in the cedars. Eat it, sucker.

Ah.. As I always suspected Trolls are Human too.. I did laugh... you should get writing again.

With another person. Enough said.

Oh! how exactly so? Wolfing down an orange as described above is probably best done on one's own as it can be a rather unsightly business..

That sounds delicious Em1977.. I shall certainly try that. Now where did I hear that Beer and Banana go very well together.. (I think it has to be that white wheat beer)

..probably. Banana choppers. Do you know anyone who chops their bannas into circular segments or.. or.. someone who peels their grapes. For instance?

A few years ago I was in an indian restaurant with Chris a friend of mine and unusually we were eating bananas. I ate mine quickly and had almost finished when I noticed he was doing something rather uncharacteristic, as he was quite a reserved person. It looked like he was giving the banana a blow job. He licked it slowly and carefully until eventually he was left with a thin column which was the centre of the fruit. I've never seen anyone do this before or since, and it's quite difficult as the central core often collapses. Me, I like to slice bananas really thinly and eat them in milk, or with rice crispies like they used to show on the box. Comfort food. And I soemtimes peel those dark grapes as the skin is so bitter and probably laced with insecticide. I was once very very ill from eating unwashed grapes in italy. I slice green apples too sometimes, keeping on the peel and arrange them on a saucer.

I rub my plums a lot. Oranges aren't the only fruitcake. Try Harold. He's very appealing.

didn't he burn his buns?

No, he cooked his goose.

This thread makes me gag.

does it clingfilm? how 'bout this: I say I say I say my dog has no nose

but, I stumbled upon a gag today on aol. An elderly gentleman shuffles into a newspaper office and asks if he can place a piece in the obituaries section. "No problem sir," says the girl behind the desk. "That'll be £1 per word." Nodding slowly, the old man writes: 'Doris is dead' on a piece of paper, and forlornly passes it back to the girl. "Is that all you want to put in it?" asks the girl. The pensioner looks at her with sad eyes. "I'm afraid I only have £3, my dear," he says, and begins to shuffle out of the door. Feeling sorry for the old man, the girl says she'll speak to the editor and see if she can get him a special deal. "Wait here and I'll see if we can work something out." Moments later she returns from the editor's office, grinning broadly. "Good news," she says. "The editor says you can have another £3-worth of words." Smiling gratefully, the old man takes another piece of paper and thinks for a moment. Shakily, he then writes: "Doris is dead. Metro for sale." sorry, I'll go and segment oranges.

I harp she-dingo I glut in mush. I ring dim, like a rill mirrored lyrical to a rim. I balk no weird. I doth Ms Quote, Mr Quixote. I sorry with oil. I covet operations yet I cuttle fish. I whoosh my wish in a tin wash dish. I am the Emperor, oft I scream. Beat that, Old Har! If not, I'll Tan ya!

At last.. a troll attack ..and a choice one.. it did make me laugh. 'I whoosh my wish in a tin wash dish.' This one has a wonderful way with words, a long memory... and like a good troll, does touch a nerve here and there.. He is very funny too, esp when pissed.. and I did like him when I met him the once. Clever and Funny? Yes. I would venture a bit retarded on the emotional front tho.. and squirms with embarassment easily I'd venture, as he is really rather old fashioned in his outlook.. (I thinks I'll make him squirm even more)

... and having despatched orraange in said manner.. you will be left with two empty peel cups. After indulging in silly, slapstick capers which I shall leave to your imagination, you can either make little scented tea light holders.. eg add fragrant water and a lit aroma candle.. perfect for the bathroom.. and/or chop peel into little pieces and add into hot steaming bath... peel oils will blend in to create a sensual citrusy bath for one, two or more.. If there is interest, I shall write about what you can do with Bananas.... (small hint.. involves large quantities of custard)