New definitions

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New definitions

These apparently come from the Washington Post:

Abdicate (v.), ---------to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
Esplanade (v.), --------to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), ------impotent
Flabbergasted (adj.),--appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Negligent (adj.),-------describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.),---------- to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.),--------- an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Coffee (n.),------------ a person who is coughed upon.
Flatulence (n.)-------- the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.),------ a rapidly receding hairline.
Semantics (n.),-------- pranks conducted by young men studying for the
priesthood including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's
priest's book together just before vespers.
Rectitude (n.),-------- the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.),------------ a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddish expressions.
Circumvent (n.),------ the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Frisbatarianism (n.),-- The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up
on the roof and gets stuck there.
Pokemon(n)------------A Jamaican proctologist

Can you add any more?

d.beswetherick
Anonymous's picture
bum steer - handlebars sticking out the back of your trousers abused boyhood - balacava with holes cut in it portions - sexual organs in breadcrumbs spate - what Zarathustra did to get rid of excess saliva child violation - making them wear purple trousers aficionado - nuclear avocado expanse - area of buttock protruding above low-slung trousers dork - a stork jammed in a door
Ely Whitley
Anonymous's picture
Waitrose- what happened to posh over eaters Regale- to blow it, yet again! Testimony- Driving tuition fees Dumbfounded- the creation of the stupid Elephant- lover of French women Dickcheese- Richard's photo face Humming bird- backing singer Telepathic- when the phone goes dead Jam Rolly polly- unplanned music session between chauffeur driven parrots.
Not Paul Greco ...
Anonymous's picture
Between the devil and the abc - the choice between an efficient functional happy well-loved institution, and a complete f**king shambles.
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