Avatar (2009)

James Cameron’s Avatar (2009) Channel 4. It’s a bit like Titanic. First the big screen film, in this case with the added bonus of 3D, and then the video (will that word become obsolete?) the download and now it’s scrapping around the bottom of the channel on 4. The good thing is I haven’t seen it. I have seen parts of it. There was a bit of Dances with Wolves, a bit of Hiawatha, a bit of Apocalypse Now and a bit of Disney fairy tale icing with the other worldy creatures having slim waists, little breasts and remarkably Bambi like eyes. On another day they would have been supermodels, but here they are the noble savage who recognizes the interdependence of all living things. I liked the way their hair plugged into other creatures so that they could zoom around the ground and sky. Rapacious man, however, did not recognise this Gaia principle and was out to exploit the alien planet, rip out the natural resources from the earth and kill everything in the process. I could hear Al Gore shouting from the wings don’t forget global warming! The denouement, man against beasties, was geared to the viewer to support the beasties. I was hoping for a fair fight. All men had were huge aircrafts that looked something like Star Wars and the beasties had tight waists, small breasts and good butts- but just in the epic battle against the darkness Obi Wan Kanobi says turn off the gizmo and feel the force , in this case don’t fuck with the Gaians, then there was only going to be one winner!