Celtic 0—3 A C Milan

Capitulation. A long season with nothing much to look forward to. Kaka was easily the best player on the park. The first goal, however, was not a thing of beauty. Celtic are a big physically strong team. Fraser Foster, the goalkeeper, is six-foot-seven. The last keeper that height played for Rangers, Peter McCloy, ‘the Girvan lighthouse’. There was little point playing the ball at anything over head height into the box or he would just catch it. Last night Kaka stood unmarked near the back post. He did not have to jump to score Milan’s first goal when the corner came in. Running in behind him was another A C Milan player. If Kaka had missed, which was highly unlikely, then he would have scored. Then again an unmarked Boerrigter had early in the first-half scuffed a shot from a Mulgrew corner. Kayal had been caught in the headlights of his own hair twelve yards from goal and failed to get a simple shot away. It was end to end errors.  Balotelli was fed through for a shot on goal by firstly, the so called Celtic defender, Effe Ambrose, then more conventionally by his team mate Kaka. Later, Ballotelli shrugged Ambrose aside to score the third.  

Prior to this, at the start of the second half was the miss of the game. Virgil van Dijk unmarked seven yards out volleys straight at the Milan keeper. He’s a defender so can be forgiven this miss. Celtic forwards don’t score goals. The question might be asked what is James Forest for? But he was the last Celtic player to score with a penalty in the Champions league. The other scorer Kayal’s goal against Ajax was a mishit shot and seems that long ago it’s remembered as being in black and white. Milan’s second goal, which killed the game, also came from a corner. The Milan substitute Anotonio Norcerino was, of course, unmarked at the back post on the edge of the six yard box. His lame shot ran through a ruck of Celtic players and Christian Zappata tapped it in at the back post. Like a shot-shy Ballotelli, he must love playing against a Celtic team that can’t defend, can’t score and can’t quite work out who is supposed to be playing in midfield. This is perhaps best shown with a cameo with ten minutes to go. Celtic get a free kick outside the box to the left of the Milan goal. Mulgrew has already hit a few, but never looked like scoring. An anonymous Commons has been taken off. Boeriggter had been hassling the pair of them the whole game to take one of the free kicks. Mulgrew, knowing the game is done, gives him the nod. I can’t even remember where the shot went. If anyone finds a Champions League size 5 mitre please return it to Celtic Park or Tom Hanks to paint a smiley face on it for the remake of Castaway.