I Am Ruth, Channel 4, 9pm, written by Kate Winslet and Dominic Savage.

Spoiler, I only watched about a half-hour of this. That old joke, it felt longer. Kate Winslet is an international star and has been a well-known face since she was in Titanic, 27 years ago, with that other guy (I wonder what happened to him?) Leonardo DiCaprio has refused to age.

Seventeen-year-old Freya, played by Mia Threapleton, is Kate Winslet’s real daughter. In my day, your da got you a job in the shipyards. Kate got her daughter a starring role. She plays her mum Ruth (not Kate). All Freya has to do is mope about and slam doors, spy on her mum and have angry hissy fits. She is going to get slaughtered on social media,(as her real-life mum did in Titanic) for not being pretty enough and being too fat. She’ll need to grow up of Di Caprio will dump her before her twenty-fourth birthday.

I get that Freya is meant to have mental-health problems. I just don’t get how Ruth has a crappy job, but she can suit herself when she turns up and leaves. I got to the bit where her supposed boss was eyeing her as she stopped typing and sneaked away to make a furtive phone call to her daughter, who answers, but says nothing. Yet, they’ve got a big house (modest for middle-class) and a son at university.

I also get what the writing team are doing is establishing a baseline. Their job is to make it much worse for Freya and Ruth (not Kate). An illness in the family and the whole family suffers. Mental Health problems you multiply that by ten. I’ve been in much worse. Everybody is equally fucked in a locked ward. I gave it half an hour. You might give it longer.