Old Boys (2018), Film4, Writers Luke Ponte and Freddy Syborn, Director Toby MacDonald.

Posted by celticman on Wed, 25 Jun 2025

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/old-boys

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_film_adaptations_of_Cyrano_de_Bergerac

Old Boys isn’t listed in the Wikipedia of film adaptations of Cyrano de Bergerac. I vaguely recall the Gérard Depardieu version. Back in the nineties, the French leading actor was making the jump to Hollywood. That was before he started moaning about taxes and got a special dispensation from another lead man, Putin, which gave the French actor, Russian citizenship. He was never called up of course, for the war with Ukraine and found work as a sex pest.

I also remember a Steve Martin version, Roxanne, back when he was funny. OK, he was never really funny. But we kinda liked him for being Steve Martin. I don’t see it listed either.

The setting of this latest version is a private school disguised as a public school. I was never sure about the difference between parody and pastiche?

Head boy and leading jock, Winchester (Jonah Hauer-King) is always the one that scores the winning goal/try or whatever it is supposed to be in a version of something like that played in a stream. He’s the one.

Amberson (Alex Lawther) is last pick in the great game and first to be picked on in school life. He wears specs. When  a beautiful girl does that in movies, she always takes them off to be revealed as actually Uma Thurman.  Which is always a surprise because we thought she was just a speccy wee nerd.

So all we need is a girl. Let’s call her a French girl. Because everyone knows, oh la la that French girls are hot and Bridget Bardot is French.  Babinot is the new French teacher that also happens to be a down-on-his luck writer, slumming it in an all boys’ school. Agnes (Pauline Etienne) is the baggage he brings with him.

The meet-cute has Amberson bumping into Agnes. He’s sent every morning to fill a bucket with water from some tap on the estate and bring it back to the dorm. One of those ancient traditions type things.

Amberson falls for Agnes. Agnes falls for the head boy. Stir with wooden spoon and serve cold. Do your porridge if you must.

Unleash the Beastie! https://bit.ly/bannkie