Paranormal Activity (2007) ITV2 9pm

I missed the beginning of this. Too tired to do anything much I thought I’d give this film a go. I used to love scary movies (well you can’t really say that now because of the Scary Movie franchise). So scary movies are funny. They are kinda naff, but only when you grow up a bit. I remember being terrified of Dracula and using my feet to push my wee brother to the edge of the bed so Dracula could get him first. The Devil Rides Out had me thanking God I was Catholic and all those black magicians were English and not likely to bother us. There was a bit of ambiguity here because the Devil always made women show there tits on screen and I must admit I did like that bit and it did make me grow into a bigger boy. This is the first of the Paranormal Activity franchise. That shows it has been a success. I can see why. The jumpy camera work adds a sense of realism and the clock at the edge of the screen documentary style showing the time is a masterstroke. Katie and Micah spend a lot of time rolling about their bed and the actress playing her is attractive enough, but not stunning in a way that would make the audience think it’s not for real. Micah plays the protective boyfriend. Obviously he’s loaded, because they have about three bedrooms and a gigantic house, but he never seems to bother overmuch with work. He’s the antagonist. Micah stakes out his home turf and invites the demon to do its worst. She tells him off. Makes him promise not to. But he’s a man. His hormones are hay-wire. He’s been rolling about the bed with a pretty woman for about three months and got zilch. Testosterone levels make him leary with the camera and he’s always poking somewhere it’s not wanted. The script is taut with little things like their bedroom door moving by it and Planchettes on Ouija boards scarring the surface and catching fire in their living room constantly upping the ante. How bad it gets is how good it gets for the viewer. Katie begins to look worn out, frazzled and is tugging blankets around with her and trying to catch up on sleep, but when she does the fun begins. It’s scary, but not in a ha-ha way. Shit I can no longer kick my wee brother to the edge of the bed. Luckily my partner Mary is on hand.

Talking about strange sights. A baby squirrel was eating all the nuts out of our feeder and a baby corvine came down and started pecking on its tail as if to say: it’s my turn. That happened about three times, before the squirrel made a grab for it with its little clawed hands.