Scotland top their World Cup group.

Did you pass the Scottish nationality test? I just managed it. Went to bed at 11.30pm and was up again for 1pm. Scotland were playing Haiti in Boston at 2am. That’s our time. Not US time. My favourite girl in the world, Tilly, aged eight, was allowed to watch the game with her dad, but Finn, aged three, was encouraged to sleep through the festivities in his Scotland top and shorts.

It’s been a boon time for the bars. The game being on BBC meant most pubs could show it. Licensing laws were stretched. All the pubs in Dalmuir were packed. In my younger days I’d have been there too—in body. But I wouldn’t have made half-time, never mind full-time. Somebody would have had to wake me to tell me the score. That’s what friend are for.

But I don’t own a Scotland top. The best I could wangle would be a green Irish thing Pat McDaid gave me about ten years ago. Scotland kit has been flying out of the shops. Biggest and best seller. There was a gig on in St Stephen’s school and I could hear it from my house. I thought it was the old-folk’s home next door (not another fucking Elvis impersonator surmising they don’t know the King is dead and an old fat bloke). No, this was fresh-faced juniors chanting about John McGinn, who’d went to my old school. Well, it was much older then and up the road a bit and nearer the chapel. John McGinn’s mum went to it with her brothers and sisters. Whisper it. The McGinn’s mum, Mary (nee Gibbons), and dad sat in the back row of the chapel (were bad boys sit) and were frequently a wee bit late for Sunday mass. All that praying turned into goals.

Scotland were expected to beat Haiti. The commentator was going a bit overboard about how long ago we’d been at the last—much cheaper World Cup with far fewer teams—28 years. I can’t remember if it was Archie McPherson commentating on that one. But that was more likely the 1970s, when Scotland were a tricky team to beat for all the right reasons—they had some world-class players.

This Scotland team has none. A hodge-podge of reserve players with some a bit better than others. John McGinn got the early and all important goal that won the game. It was more of an own goal, hitting about three Haiti players on the way in. Che Adams’ bringing the ball down with an exquisite touch that everybody assumed he must have been offside made it even better and he almost scored too, which was like a late-night hallucination, in which Scott McTominay, earlier, also hit the post.  He was set up by Bournemouth reserve-winger Ben Gannon-Doak. He used to be plain and simple, Ben Doak when he was coming through the Celtic academy. Adding an extra name gave him a few inches of print. He hasn’t done much to justify it, but was easily Scotland’s most dangerous and exciting player.

Angus Gunn the Scotland keeper had little to do and done it badly. Consistency. He’s been linked with Celtic after playing only 45 minutes last season (out with Scotland games, of course).

That’s a positive. Haiti had lots of the ball. Tended to fling it into the box too early or too late.

Scotland’s ability to turn victory into glorious defeat is so bankable, Scot fans paint their faces woad blue so not to be caught red-faced.

Rangers find themselves with two players at this World Cup but with none in their team for most of the season. I guess that’s progress.

Six minutes to play. Frantzdy Pierrot rises above Grant Hanley. The Hib’s reserve is the wrong side of him and below him. Haiti have finally found their man with a cross—he heads it past the post.

Brazil and Morocco’s draw earlier means Scotland sit top of the group. Braveheart.

Scotland’s first World Cup win in 36 years. A generational thing. I expect Morocco and Brazil to beat us, but maybe not comfortably. Scotland play better with their backs to the wall. Our most iconic goal is still Archie Gemmill’s against Holland in the 1978 World Cup. It was an exquisite thing of beauty and has us hoping we might just make it to the next stage—we had to beat the Dutch by two clear goals. We won 3—2. Glorious Defeat.

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