The Change - by Germaine Greer

'The records of the Divorce Court, the annals of the asylums, the dates of the tombstones in the churchyard, all tell us of the severe strain put upon the system of the woman during the change of life.'

1874 JM Fothergill, the Maintenance of Health

It's true! But it's not the whole truth and neither is it helpful to the woman of fifty-two whose husband has left her for another woman or a man now that the children are ready for independence and he feels he has done his bit as the main provider.If the woman goes to her GP for tablets because she feels like throwing herself off a cliff how much of this is 'menopausal symptoms?'

Don't you guys get all fired up and plan to shoot my ex. I never had one. I sometimes describe myself as a  'spinster of two'.

The menopause is real. It's different for everyone and apart from a mention of hot flushes very few women talk about it. Germaine's book, written in 1991 when she was 51 is thoroughly researched, lively and opinionated. She feels that women who have led a conformist life, worshipping their husband and their boss or least faking it for economic security will wake up when the periods stop and say 'I've been done. What do I do with the long stretch ahead of me?'

This may have something to it, some of the time. It's certainly true that we all hope to have a decent length of life left and now we can branch out in new directions, begin to 'get our lives back'. Germaine also observes that some of us decide to be good to ourselves in small ways, a glass of wine, a night out with friends. I often go with a bunch of ladies my age and older to the Railway Club for drinking and dancing. I'm not even sure how many of them have got a man at home or down the road. My boyfriend is older and walks with a stick. He is fine about my nights out with the girls. The band are older too and play a lot of seventies rock. I like the Exeter Tornados - for the music. What will our age cohort be like when we're 80? I'll still love Pete Townshend 'A beach is a place where a man can feel he's the only soul in the world that's real...Love reign o'er me.' Hmm methinks I am wandering off the point!

My point? Read 'The Change'. It's big, it's bold it covers a lot. The change is always there, our notions of it and how to handle it keep changing. Around 2000 a lot of my work colleagues were talking about their HRT. These days I hear nothing about Hormone Replacement Treatment. Read The Change if you are a woman coming up to that age. Better still read it if you are a young man. In the words of a good songwriter 'I'll show you something that will make you change your mind.'