Have Started to Dream About Biscuits

Posted by purplehaze on Fri, 14 Aug 2026

In ponders past, the coveted title of ‘Second Best Biscuit in the World’ was once held by a powerful Hebridean wizard who made a chocolate biscuit bake of much renown.  However, this winning biscuit became not only elusive as a haggis in June, but very expensive if found.  With deep regret and heavy hearts, the simple truth became unavoidable, a new contender for ‘Second Best Biscuit in the World’ was required.  As the fates and gods of biscuitry* aligned, (particularly Diabetes, Greek god of sugar) a new winner was discovered several weeks ago, on a lowly Tuesday trip to Inverurie Marks and Spencer’s, ‘food only’ store.  Lo, their ‘Extra Cream Cookies and Cream’ biscuits were found not only to be crunchily divine, but only £1 per pack.  (Making them much more cost effective than a heistful* packet of caramel Freddos.)  I pass on this information with love and tea, as giving up sugar is hard, even if THE OMEGA does laugh up their spooky sleeve thrice per packet and replacement heads for the iO toothbrush cost £15 for two, even on special offer.  Replacement treats for the sugar-addicted usually involve squashing dates then spreading them with peanut butter and melted dark chocolate.  Or blitzing an avocado with cocoa powder.  Then grinning and bearing it.  The thing is, a carb is a carb and a refined sugar carb does the same to the blood sugar as a squashed date, just with a bit less fibre. 

So, in the spirit of fending off becoming a spirit, these shall be Christmas-time treats only, though cheaper than Fortnum’s ‘Dark Chocolate Macadamia Nut Biscuits’ which absolutely remain the clear winner of THE Best Biscuit in the World. 

Och, have both, it’s Christmas! 

Now, that’s the kind of thinking that made this country insulin resistant.  Hurrah!

 

*Yes, I am making up words. If Oxford dictionary bods can remove words like ‘acorn’ or ‘heron’, they shall no longer have dominion over me. 

In the interests of science, for empirical testing purposes only:  https://www.marksandspencer.com/food/extra-cream-cookies-and-cream/p/fdp60740577#intid=pid_pg1pip96g6r1c3

Merry Christmas:  Plenty time to save up…although I gather Harrod’s Christmas shop is actually open now.  https://www.fortnumandmason.com/chocolate-macadamia-biscuits-200g

Comments

Submitted by GlosKat on

I work in a charity shop and we start selling Christmas cards in August.  Even more bizarrely, people actually buy them.

I didn't know about the words removed from the Oxford English Dictionary, but apparently they were removed from the Junior version in 2007.  'Common nature' words such as acorn, bluebell, beech, heron were removed to make room for others deemed more up to date, and therefore more useful.  For example, 'bluebell' was removed to include 'broadband'.  

Loved your blog, as usual.

 

Submitted by purplehaze on

Thank you for your kind words.  Yes, that was what I was referring to, the Junior Dictioinary scandal (my opinion).  Silver lining Robert McFarlane, Jackie Morris and The Folk by the Oak musicians all gave, and are still giving, marvelous artistic responses to the removal of these words.  Beautiful books, peotry and music has come out of it.  All of which is in schools as an alternative source for children. 

https://www.thelostwords.org/lostwordsbook/ 

Purplehaze