purplehaze's blog

When you’re out and about, getting in your 8000 steps, you are liable to cross paths (if not swords) with the crazy that is the dog lover. Not all dog walkers are dog lovers, but when they have their dog in a pram, take my advice, don’t make eye contact. Have come to the conclusion that many dog lovers have a dog for the sole purpose of seeking attention. This is not restricted to the senior dog lover, many of whom are the worst offenders for...

I have always appreciated a bargain and being treated fairly, and find that this proclivity has increased with age – or perhaps it’s just brass neck that has increased, if I can sneeze-fart in the post office and brazen it out, I can certainly ask for what I want. So, it came to pass, that before going away on holiday in May, I bought two of those plug-in timers for lamps to fool burglars that there was somebody home. (Now I just use inulin as a...

Having too much time to scroll, and having clicked once on something to do with gut health and the microbiome, my Insta feed has become inundated with increasingly disgusting images of bloated bellies and corresponding cures. From Tai Chi – emphasis on the AI – to mushroom gummies. Some of the things I thought I’d try until I saw the price, or the ingredient list, usually both. However, had decided to try inulin as it’s only chicory and is good...

Nowadays, sausages and other processed foods are allegedly the devil’s work. Extremely bad for the body. But who can easily give up a lovely sticky, slow-cooked pork sausage? Not I. Especially if you’ve ever read Nigel Slater’s description of the joys of a sausage sandwich. Nothing else will do. It is fortunate then, that supernatural helper, YouTube, and a Food Processor have come to the rescue for making less-bad-for-you, and more economical,...

They (I’d like to meet ‘they’ someday, have a few choice words for those vacillating piss-takers), have decided that it’s no longer 10,000 steps a day that will help extend the ‘health span’ (no point extending your lifespan if you can’t get up off the toilet). Magic number is now 8,000 steps, briefly lifting heavy things three times a week and prioritising sleep. Am an expert at one of those so far. Resistance training is the new black...

Lammas weekend. The first of the Celtic harvest festivals and the fields are being gleaned, leaving stubble for when the geese return. One of the times of the year when getting stuck behind a tractor on the way into or back from the big city, Aberdeen, is pretty much guaranteed. Usually, it’s not a big issue being in the slow convoy, open windows wafting in the scents of summer, it's quite life affirming. Not so on Tuesday. Am a sucker for money...

Went to Huntly on Monday to see ‘The Odyssey’ again. It is a bum-numbing almost three hours, but I wanted to rewatch the Circe scene and experience that soundtrack again. This is a big screen movie, so all those millions allegedly watching on X, missed a treat, big time. While in Huntly, bought a book about Rhynie. A mystical area of Scotland, with geology found nowhere else on the planet. Famous for Pictish forts and standing stones, including...

What if sleekit was sent as a supernatural helper. This is such a stretch, there is nothing less magical or mythical to me than sleekit, the little shit, however, I am hellbent on exercising my imagination in order to grow new synaptic connections and not get any dottier, if I can help it. So, sleekit as supernatural helper delivering a message, to be ignored at my peril. Lesson one; buy more mouse traps, the good ones with poison in them, and...

Just when you admit to costly and embarrassing dopamine-hitting behaviours, the gods of the underworld ( Algo and Rhythm ) send you a messenger; Dan. Affirming that sad vindication, narcissistic behaviour was not ‘all in your mind’. (Just tried to find Dan using AI. AI is rubbish, we have absolutely no worries about it taking over the planet. On the other hand, if AI is learning by copying humans, it is currently focussing on some real dolts...

You never know what will motivate you in this life, quite often it’s vengeance and murderous rage. This was the case when I came downstairs from my sick bed to find sleekit (a mouse of ill-repute) had shit on my velvet sofa. Well, on the Ikean rug charmingly draped over velvet sofa. Hoovered the top of both rug and sofa in stupefied disgust, lifted off all the cushions and rugs, including the main seat cushions, and saw in the seams of the sofa...