purplehaze's blog

Alan de Botton reckons that instead of asking potential partners what they do for a living, where they are from, etc, we should playfully ask; “How are you crazy?” Then proceed to tell them, “I’m crazy like this…”. I’d be there all night. However, it’s also an intriguing question to ask yourself. Are the ways in which I am crazy really that bad? Aren’t they just foibles? Creative ways of passing the hours? Of course, the juicier questions are...

Two events, one global, one local, changed the pantry forever. Both involved mooses; the Strait of Hormuz or blocking thereof, and a moose of the “Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie” kind - not the large Canadian variety. There is a wee, more sleekit than timorous, beastie loose about this hoose. In the pantry at approximately 10.30pm. Usually, there were only tins in the pantry, not sleekits, but there was also a packet of soy flour, which...

You know when you pop into LIDL for one of their scrumptiously delicious seeded sourdough loaves, and you think to yourself ‘Do NOT buy crap you don’t need’, and you answer yourself (hopefully still inside your head), ‘Certainly not Stanley!’ Then you come home with your scrumptiously delicious seeded sourdough loaf, and a folding fire pit. What IS that? It is the lure of the middle aisle. It is the siren, nay, the Lorelei’s call of our times...

Englandshire, and Europe, are suffering under severe heat, forked lightning and flash floods. Most distressingly, folk are drowning in open water the length and breadth of the Continent, underestimating their strength or the effects of cold water on too hot heads. A day to open the windows and keep the blinds closed. Once upon a time, I’d have packed a picnic, and skipped off to the beach with a book. Even though it’s a good 15 degrees cooler up...

One of the many bonuses of being 65 is a £1 reduction on cinema tickets. It ain’t all liver spots and boycotts. Celebrated this windfall by going to see Steven Spielberg’s film ‘Disclosure Day’ - sans caramel Freddo, but coped marvellously with two cherry brandy choccies instead. (Most likely medicinal for the heart). Don’t read much about movies prior to seeing them anymore. Either fancy them or don’t, so go and see them or don’t. The pile on...

On waking up and jumping back into Life, capital ‘L’ life, not just inhaling and exhaling and worrying about THE OMEGA, I notice that my equipment could do with a refresh. This is not a euphemism. I have an iPhone7. The current model is 17. The only issue this actually causes is that apps like 'Vinted' (compulsory for selling stuff when you reach ‘Swedish-death-cleaning’ age) won’t work on iPhone7’s operating system. Who cares. I'm keeping my...

I turned 65 yesterday. I’d have preferred to have turned back time. Until what age though, and would I know what I know now? That’s as bamboozling as one of those super-power questions – would you rather be invisible or be able to fly? It’s obvious that invisibility is the option, sneaking onto private planes and such you could fly anyway. BUT, once invisible would you be able to switch back at will, or would you be stuck being invisible until...