The Middle Aisle

You know when you pop into LIDL for one of their scrumptiously delicious seeded sourdough loaves, and you think to yourself ‘Do NOT buy crap you don’t need’, and you answer yourself (hopefully still inside your head), ‘Certainly not Stanley!’  Then you come home with your scrumptiously delicious seeded sourdough loaf, and a folding fire pit.  What IS that?  It is the lure of the middle aisle.  It is the siren, nay, the Lorelei’s call of our times.  It is Loki, jigging.  Auld Nick himself, on your shoulder, whispering, ‘Och, go on, just a wee look won’t hurt’.  Actually, it rarely hurts as the prices are so reasonable, BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT.  The further accumulation of stuff that will have to be burned in a Viking longship once you have daisies to kick up.  THAT’S the point.  (Although, who doesn’t’ love a really big bonfire?  Weirdos, that’s who).

A folding fire pit, when I know for a fact that I will never go camping ever again (not just because getting up off the ground is no longer fun, but because I’ve always hated camping.  Both times.  If it doesn’t involve a real bed and someone else making the breakfast and doing the dishes, count me out.  Unless it’s a gorgeous cottage for self-catering.  But near loads of gorgeous cafes so that self-catering is optional). 

Well, the fire pit was cute, only £8.99 and it folds for Pete’s sake.  I thought, ‘Fun!’  Plus, it will come in handy for rituals, smouldering all those aromatic sacred essences from Starchild, as I can’t seem to get the charcoal discs to light, kept them in a tin and everything.  Anyway, they take ages, when I do ritual, I want it over and done with, and back to my book.  Maybe some sourdough toast.

https://www.lidl.co.uk/p/seeded-sourdough-loaf/p6610963

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorelei

Starchild, Glastonbury: https://starchild.co.uk/pages/about-incense