Trying Things

Having too much time to scroll, and having clicked once on something to do with gut health and the microbiome, my Insta feed has become inundated with increasingly disgusting images of bloated bellies and corresponding cures.  From Tai Chi – emphasis on the AI – to mushroom gummies.  Some of the things I thought I’d try until I saw the price, or the ingredient list, usually both.  However, had decided to try inulin as it’s only chicory and is good for the heart as well as the gut.  Allegedly.  Even the blessed Angela Rippon herself was raving.  Found a packet in ‘Holland and Barrett’ while on holiday, and as it had only one ingredient, 100% chicory, I thought, where’s the harm? 

Well, the harm lies in the fact that inulin is basically fart powder.  I realise the good gut bacteria and the bad gut bacteria have to fight it out for supremacy for a while, but do they have to go full blown ‘Game of Thrones’ about it?  The instructions said to take three teaspoons a day.  I never test anything using the full dose, and only took half a teaspoon.  That was bad enough, resulting in a simultaneous fart-sneeze situation in the queue at the post office.  (I brazened it out).  Decided to stop taking it for a while as was going to Edinburgh to see the ballet, Dracula, which was frightening enough without risking additional timpani drums.  (The ballet was sublime; the most frightening thing was the number of tattooed women in their 50’s still dressing in goth gear, many with pronouncedly bloated bellies.  Plus, purple lipstick.  A mistake at any age).

The fart powder inulin cost £15, so am bloody well finishing it.  Over the summer.  At home.  Perhaps out for a paddle.  At one with the sea breezes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_of_Thrones

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/bioglan-inulin-powder