Polly and Dolly

A middle-class lady bought two female parrots, Polly and Dolly, but was shocked to discover that they kept shouting out rude and inappropriate remarks. She sought advice from her parish priest about curing them of this embarrassing situation.


The priest was mortified at the things the parrots were shouting.


Polly squawked provocatively, “Do you fancy some hanky-panky?”


Dolly screeched rudely, “Would you risk it for a biscuit?”


The priest then explained to the lady that he had two male parrots called Cain and Abel. He kept them together in a cage and had taught them to use rosary beads, say prayers and make good and holy incantations. He advised her to bring the two female parrots to his house so they could learn these wholesome practices from his parrots.


The next day, she duly took her parrots to the priest’s house and was delighted to observe the two males. They were passing rosary beads through their claws and had turned their eyes to heaven.


Cain prayed piously, “Hear us when we call to thee, oh heavenly father.”


Abel responded, “Lord, we beseech thee to heed our prayers.”


The priest placed Polly and Dolly in the cage with Can and Able, then stood back to see what happened.


Polly squawked provocatively, “Woohoo, big boy! Let’s have a bit of slap and tickle.”


Dolly screeched rudely, “Give us a kiss, you saucy sausage.”


Cain and Able were stunned. They stopped in mid prayer and gazed open mouthed at Polly and Dolly.


Then Cain exclaimed, “Throw away these bloomin’ beads, Able! Our prayers have been answered.”