Rokkitnite's 'We Can't All Be Astronauts' reviewed

ABCtales Editor Tony Cook casts his eye over Tim Clare's first major book:

Let me first of all declare an interest. I know Tim Clare and I like Tim Clare. He’s a young man of enormous potential, more ideas than are good for him and, from my dealings with him, the application of a gnat. You will know him as rokkitnite on ABCtales.

‘We Can’t All Be Astronauts’ is Tim’s account of how he can’t write a novel. He sees his pals (headed by fellow ABCtaler Joe ‘spack’ Dunthorne) getting mega-deals for their books and he can’t get beyond the bizarre notions he has for a weird science fiction novel. He’s a great writer without a subject – and he still lives at home with his Mum and Dad.

The book charts Tim’s despair and pain and his coming-to-terms with his own drawbacks. It’s very funny but it’s also heart-rending as you realise just what he’s willing to do to get published.

This is a book that every aspiring writer should read. It’s a warning as well as a justification. It’s a story of an obsession. He plays the fool in front of the publishing world at Hay-on-Wye for the edification of a Channel 4 producer, he grovels at the feet of Jeffrey Archer, he blags his way into the inner sanctum of the London Book Fair and he writes some of the funniest emails ever as he seeks an audience with Amanda Ross, the woman behind the Richard and Judy Book Club. Tim also has a nervous breakdown, witnesses his father try to make a suicide pact with him and bonds with his failed writer grandfather just before his death. It’s a deeply personal and utterly compelling story and in the end, as you are aware, he gets his wish – he becomes a published author, writing about how he can’t get a publishing deal.

‘We Can’t All Be Astronauts’ by Tim Clare is published by Ebury Press and is a snip at £10.99.