TJW's blog

My cousin sent me pics of snow-bound Alabama and I responded: Boo fucking hoo, we got our own problems here in Florida, you red dirt clay-bred motherfucker; to which he responded: That's nice coming from a concrete, swamp-bred sisterhumper. We're close like that, me and my cousin. Family ties, know what I mean?

One day I had the A/C running, next day had to insulate my pipes, next day it's snowing. My second job told me to stay home. It's just a family-owned business and they figured since they weren't coming in I shouldn't either. I would have. Heat lamps on maximum for the snakes. Don't have central heat so got a couple space heaters. Remote start for my car worked beautifully, had it warm and toasty by the time I got in it app. 0430 to go to my...

Renewed my concealed weapon permit yesterday. Not that I had to renew it. The state of Florida allowes permitless carry. Just makes me feel better to have a permit. Makes me feel . . . legitimate, yeah, that must be the word. This is also the land of stand-your-ground. I don’t think I need to explain that. When I visited mama back in December and passed the state line into Georgia a sign read: Hurry Back to the Free State of Florida. We’re free...

It's 65 F and raining. And I'm drinking to outlaw country: singers with a distinct twang, depressed drawl, dig? Leaves turned a while ago. I'm about to turn from sedated to sedation, there's a difference, believe me. Finish a drink, go out for a smoke. Play with the rabbit. Check on the snakes - heat lamps working, nice and cozy, super duper. Roof on the homestead is tin so the raindrops ting and bling and snap and sing as Willie Nelson sings,...

Visited mama this past weekend, just for the hell of it. She cooked the whole time I was there, well, cooked and fed me. Come taste this, come taste this again . . . by the time the meal was ready I'd tasted so much it was all I could do to finish my plate. And each time I tasted she'd hold the spoon or fork up to my mouth, cup her hand underneath and feed me. Then she'd dab my mouth with a napkin. After eating she'd insisted that I take a nap...

Folks say Florida doesn't get all four seasons, well, I'm here to say that it does indeed; just gets all four in a single day. Winter in the pre-dawn, Fall by late morning, Spring by noon, Summer by afternoon then Winter in the evening then . . . humma humma.

Sometimes, accidental like, one of the snakes bites me instead of the mouse and I don't want the snake to let go. Other times, when nothing bites, scratches, scrapes, cuts nor otherwise inflicts me I wish that I had been, you know, one or some or all above. Sometimes I like the discomfort. The flinch. Pain. Because the moment gives me an opportunity to endure. And if I endure it. I am still strong. Endurance. Strength. Cut scrape scratch bite me...

Car wreck last Saturday, car totaled, got a whack to the head, don't remember shit about the collision. Just what I need: another whack to the head. Fuck.

About twenty minutes into my shift my phone rang. Sir. Had to take all my gear off and by the time I had the call had ended. Voice mail. Which I never check. Called back. "Hello?" "Sir?" "Hello, son. I just thought you'd want to know that sis died this morning." "Aunt Betty?" "Yes, just thought you'd want to know." Aunty Betty, eldest of seven children and the sister of six brothers - dead. She'd always called me heartbreaker. Hey, heartbreaker...

"Jack." - - - - - "Jack . . . hey, I'm recording you." Looking up from my book, "Why?" "I'm going to ask you a couple of questions and I want proof of your reaction." "Ummm..." "One of them is kind of, uh, dirty - " "Yeah? Alright, go ahead." "Would you rather have unlimited threesomes for a year or one night with the woman of your dreams?" "What do you mean? " "So, you have a choice of - " "No, I understand that. I mean you said 'unlimited' and...