Desperately seeking a solution

I have just put my happiness on ebay. The bid is at £500. Reasonable I think you will agree. No one has placed a bid yet. I am a little annoyed as a girl put her virginity on there, and she was a lesbian and someone bought her flower to fertilise. An old guy I think. I even emailed the link to several newspapers, I thought they would think the story was quirky and interesting. My email box urhelpismuchobliged@hotmail.co.uk is still empty. I know money can't by everything but I was hoping that the good will of the general public would see that it could buy my happiness. But no, they'd rather buy a CD or a vintage T-shirt. I am sure the cyber surfers have got some loose change, and if everyone, man, women, man/women and child in the UK donated their loose change to me, even a penny, then I would have¦a lot. I only got a C at G.C.S.E Maths, and even thinking about Maths hurts. Also a little bun is coming out the oven every 4.5 seconds, 75% facts are made up on the spot, so that would change my income constantly but would preoccupy my thoughts too much and I have better things to think about, like my happiness.

It's not as though I am completely unhappy. I just need therapy. A confidante, some reassurance, to let me know that I am not losing it. A little reprogramming. I've read the books, I know my issues but I'm skint. Yet, before you start internally yelling¦ get a job I've got one and I am being proactive, hence using this medium as well to try and gain your support. Catharsis = release, clensing, purging, purification, purgation, abreaction¦Writing acted as a catharsis for all his painful feelings¦. (Dictionaries since 1874 Collins Thesaurus The Ultimate wordfinder from A to Z) I thought purging is what bulimic do before they are sick? Sometimes words have double meaning, like¦heads gone foggy. I knew I needed therapy.

The next step to try and raise money for my cause was leafleting. I had 250 leaflets printed on A5 paper, and headed for Canary Wharf. I thought people would have more money to give there. I headed for the crowded mall and started to hand them out:

Hello my names Kate and I've got clinical depression. Yes the girl that just handed you this leaflet. I am looking for help, well preferably money, lets be honest, to enable me to get some cognitive behaviour therapy.
I am not on the doll, my job starts in two weeks but I need some assistance with my thinking. Thank you for reading this far, this indicates to me that there is a chance you might help.
I am skint, no one in my family can pay for it and my GP has put me on a rather long waiting list. I want to be proactive in regards to my mental health and feel that temporarily pumping myself with pills will not help in the long run. I want to start being the person I've always wanted to be.
Why help I hear your conscience question? It makes you feel good when you help someone else, we all deserve to love ourselves and because I've had the audacity to ask. Oh and you're a very, very, very nice person.

Anyway if you're not interested, thanks for your time and please pass this on to someone that might be. Please don't email any abuse I don't think I could handle it, and please refrain from littering.

If you have any information, advice or questions please email urhelpismuchobliged@hotmail.co.uk. If you are willing to donate some money, thank you so much! I knew Londoners were good people, even if they don't smile on the tube!
Seriously though, please email your bid, name and contact details to the above email address.

Have a good weekend.
Lots of love, Kate

Yes it did actually say that. No lie. So I gave it to men in suits, and women and men in suits sitting down. Then one man starting talking to me, I tried to hold back the tears. He offered me a fiver, and said that I seemed pretty condfident and I should try meditation. Shunned. I walked back towards the escalator with 240 A5 leaflets. I didn't even recycle them. I felt dejected.