Goodbye

Oh baby,
Thank you for being a friend to me.
You will never know what it meant to me
I'm on my knees,
Please
Forgive me
you attempted to teach me
about people and relationships
But I'm not equipped
I just don't understand it
What the plan is?
perhaps at this time in my life,
Past filled with such strife
I never will.
I was wrong
Wrong
Not knowing
And I still don't
Know where I belong
Wrong to go as far as I did with you.
What was I suppose to do
Never in my wildest dreams
At least it doesn't seem
I didn't think it would end up like this.
What a mess
However, you woke something up in me.
Allowing me to be
Free
Yes, yes, it terrified me,
yet, I liked it.
(A lot.)
You made me feel good
Again
Making me forget passed pain
and for that,
I am truly grateful
If only I were able
I'd give you what you need
But I cant so I wont
I wont attempt it
I failed successfully
I will never forget you.
only a few shared days
But to my own dismay
I failed
it meant so much as you're very pleasurable
In the past few years,
No one else was measurable
Any woman would be very pleased
blessed to have someone like you.
I just don't know what to do
Or where I went wrong
I must say, thank you
Thank you for making an effort
in trying to pull me out of my shell.
It was ok
I didn't really need a bail
So, you didn't fail
All the same,
This wasn't a game
I just don't feel it is possible.
I cannot
I will not
say that I can't let go of the past,
Not so fast
I just don't believe that the time is now
No one will be around
for me to be a part of the bond
or relations between a man and a woman.
Love is just something I don't believe in.
Perhaps I am scared, timid,
stupid,
insane,
Lame,
lost, demented, agitated
Even aggravated
Or
or whatever.
Whatever,
the case may be,
I just can't seem to allow me
And my feelings
to be out there to feel free
Free to be me
and uninhibited.
One night
Yes, you were right;
I did not take that journey alone.
You recall that night?
The night on the phone
I was wrong
to assume that I was ready
To go steady
Wrong and even more dishonest
wrong to bring you down in my mess.
It was deceitful
Dishonest
to both of us.
I won't hurt you again.
There has to be an end
To the pain
The only way for me not to hurt you
ever again,
is to back away fully.
And allow you to be completely
Going forward and from this very moment,
I will be sincere,
Because I truly care
For your feelings
For you as well as myself,
I'm back on my own
and leave you alone.
I may have failed you
misrepresented myself to you,
but truly,
with all sincerity,
I DID NOT mean to.
I always have and always will respect you
You as well as your feelings;
or at least I tried to anyway.
Today
And everyday
I wish more for you
As you rightly deserve
Not me
Me someone who doesn't have the nerve
To love again
Sorry, not today.
I wish there was more that I could say
to make you believe me,
but all I can do is apologize profusely.
Moreover, all I can do is pray for your forgiveness.
If I lead you on,
I was wrong
or gave you the wrong impression,
I didn't mean to give you this obsession
I am truly sorry.
I truly mean it, heartlfully
It will never happen again
No more pain
you deserve so much, much more.
Again, thank you for your time
and patience.
Stay sweet for that special lady.
Much respects,
You are someone I will never forget