Phone is ringing, oh my god.

I agree Stu, his attitude was awful. Ban him is what I say. Smashing cheese and pickle baps today by the way. Ralphie x

Now, now - don't form a club against the horrif persecution of the mentally ill as demonstrated perhaps inocently by Mr Wiggins. You know in the old days I used to find time in between alcoholism, terminal capitalism, krishna consciousness, and manic depression to "have a laugh" here. Okay, I am still laughing; in a highpitched hysterical way sometimes seen in winos at camden...

Club! Should be an army!

I agree, Stu I mean, I'd agree whether you were right or wrong. You're giving UnKool Fliddins a hard time, after all. But it so happens you're right, here.

I met your mother last night, Ralph. She was very accommodating. Would you like to know the details?

i would. did she offer you a sandwich?

I-shagged-your-mother jokes, sheesh. NB: the school bell just went. Time for homey-byes.

My Mother died last year Karl.

hey Riaf......see yer still trying for the sympathy vote!!!!!!!!! Not a lot new there. Why don't you stand up and be a man........oops......sorry forgot! ;) PS perhaps yer would like to send me another e-mail!

Oh and what did yer mum die of? Embarrassment! Cos you couldn't decide which sex or orifice to position yer member! Oh and please forgive me for not believing anything you say. Past experience with you negates everything that you utter from that orifice you would call a mouth! PS for the record I have no probs with sexuality in any shape or form. I just like a spade to be called a spade.........and not the shovel for a mouth that Raif has.

Jimmy Saville: "Now then now then now then. I have here in me hand, a letter from a four-year old from Rickmansworth Monkey Sanctuary called Karl. He writes... Jim, Can you fix it for me to have sexual intercourse with a dead woman? I believe that by using the power of the light within me I can make the Earth itself hold it's breath, and that the best solution to any problem is physical assault. Well well well well well now then now THEN it just so 'appens, necrophilia is a particular 'obby of mine, so let's meet Karl..." *applause, as a toddler with a Dave Lee Travis beard walks on set* "Now then now then now then, a little bird tells me - come an' sit on me knee - a little bird tells me you have a very GRAVE desire, something you are DEAD serious about. So watch now viewers, how I took little Karl to the morg, to show him how to bribe orderlies." Karl: "I didn't write any of that letter. I wanted you to fix it for me to eat cottage cheese with no hands. I'm scared and I wanna go home." Jimmy Saville: "OooohOHooohOhooooOh so you don't want to come in contact with a stiff." Karl (shuffling uncomfortably on JS's knee): -insert obvious gag here-

Auntie Jackie is unwell.

Oh please...!

You're a teacher aren't you, Paul? You're entrusted with the job of educating our young, correct? That's worrying.

Water Splasher!

As you already know if you think about it, there is no one attitude upheld on this forum. Anyone making disparaging remarks i.e. about winos or the clinically insane is stating their own opinion only , even if they slip in the word 'we'. I bet a lot of people read these forums, but only the ones with the biggest mouths (myself included) join in.

As you already know if you think about it, there is no one attitude upheld on this forum. Anyone making disparaging remarks i.e. about winos or the clinically insane is stating their own opinion only , even if they slip in the word 'we'. I bet a lot of people read these forums, but only the ones with the biggest mouths (myself included) join in.

Sometimes join in a second time, for good measure. Peace. (I hate it when that happens.)

Not sure that Riise is the best leftback, though. He comes forward too much and might cramp my style. Carragher would probably be better if we can get him off his Table Football stick.

Kewell's a good signing though Eddie. I suspect he may try for you.