So why are you here?
Fri, 2001-04-06 21:15
#1
So why are you here?
Reading through the various discussions going on here I get the feeling that everyone has a different reason for displaying their literary limits to a critical audience but no one actually gives their reasons. Obviously a percentage feel they are talented and want others to tell them so, some are burning with desire to be heralded as the saviour of modern poetry and some think it's a short cut to fame and fortune. But what about the other five percent? (Ok, that last bit was just my cynical sense of humour escaping for a second). Make that seventyfive percent. It would be interesting to hear why contributors actually contribute, what percentage of their output they allow us to see and why they write in the first place.
I suppose I can hardly expect anybody to volunteer to be the first to come clean so in the interests of what may prove to be an interesting discussion and soul-baring excercise I offer myself for sacrifice.
Firstly I would like to emphasise that I don't see myself as a 'writer' in the generally accepted sense of the word so perhaps I'm a bit of an imposter here on false pretences. Coming to my contributions to the site I have to say that everything I have written (discounting form filling and shopping lists) is actually up for abuse, all two of them. Written sixteen years apart they are the product of extreme stress brought about by the failure of personal relationships that I had hoped were indestructible. I have, and could, only write when my pain threshold has been exceeded, the last time almost to the point of suicide. Adrenalin was surging through my body at near toxic levels for weeks and writing was part of my healing process. Under normal stress free conditions I couldn't write my name and address. My reason for submitting the poems was, in a way I suppose, an appeal for understanding and caring from people who don't know me but maybe, might understand what I had been going through. So, that is why and how I came to be here, reading back over it I fear I may not attract too many replies to this thread, also it seems it might have been better to have looked for a psychoanalysis site! Perhaps I'm in a worse state than I thought.
jennifer
Good point.
Emily Dubberley
As Captain Sensible said 'You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?'
As to why I'm here, it's because:
1 Ever since I was tiny, I've wanted to be a writer (hey, I'll brag - I was first published when I was eight - a letter in Barbie magazine - seem to remember I got £5, which, given inflation, is far more than a lot of people pay nowadays!
2 It's great getting feedback on my work - seeing how many people have read it, what people's favourites are (from the ratings) and hoping upon hope that one day someone will name me as one of their favourite writers in the other thread
3 If I get 'inspiration' I've got somewhere I can instantly put my work, quickly and easily
4 It's a great excuse for not writing more of my novel - 'Well, I've been writing so it's not really skiving'
5 (and it really is 5, I'd come here anyway) I work for ABCtales
Roy Bateman
Thanks to Ol' Man River for getting the discussion off the ground. Yes, there are all sorts of reasons for writing - catharsis is a good one, but Gabrielle (like myself) is perfectly entitled to her hopes and Andrew's lottery analogy sums it up perfectly. I think there are two points here.
One: most of us begin by apologising for our rampant egos. Why? We're human - the desire to communicate is innate and normal. Children rush home to inform their mother what Miss said in school; most pubs shelter a crashing bore or two, some of us write. Everyone, sometime, wishes to take others by the hand and lead them into their own little world. If we didn't communicate, experiment and progress (in every field) we'd still be asking that nice couple from the cave next door to come and grunt at our new bison wallpaintings.
Two: why choose writing? Easy, this one. Unlike Puccini, I'll never compose and orchestrate a sweeping melody that'll have an entire audience reaching for the tissues in perfect unison. I can gasp in wonder at "Rain, Steam and Speed," but I'll never emulate Turner.
Like everyone, however, I've used language from a very early age: I develop and hone my usage of this natural tool every single day. What's more, I believe that I can do better than some published authors. Don't we all feel an illicit but exhilarating tingle of schadenfreude when we come across that much-hyped book - the one we considered substandard - piled floor to ceiling in The Works? If publishers get it wrong so frequently, we can all dream..
Sorry to gabble on, but it's a massive subject.
Cheers.
Roy.
Missivoryauntie
Hi Roy, so you have new bison paintings? You must be a very wealthy man, they're rarer than honest politicians!
[Missivoryauntie gets her wrists slapped for beingsilly]
I apologise to the wrist slapper and promise to behave!
Just some thoughts about your comments.
I have never wanted to take anyone by the hand and lead them into my world, on the contrary I've lived in hope that someone would lead me into their world, without alas, any success.
The only thing I've ever possessed that looks in the least bit rampant was certainly not an ego, I'm sorry to say I am almost ego-less, in fact I don't even like myself much.
Lastly, not all the books in The Works are there because they are crap, some of them are the result of bad market research and I for one have been the beneficiary.
Oh, and I find it interesting that you say most of us start with apologies and then you go and end with one.
It wasn't necessary you know!
Roy Bateman
Hello Missivoryauntie! (Who?)
Sorry about the paintings - I was referring to my great, great, great.. oh, forget it. I didn't actually accuse you personally of having a rampant ego, mate. Your reasons for writing, to purge yourself, are entirely understandable and laudable. But everyone needs to communicate, that's my point. You've confirmed that by starting off several threads!
I, too, have used writing for a similar purpose - there's a whole box of it somewhere. I began to write "properly" (i.e. a formally structured novel) about three years ago, when I wondered if an insensitive clod of a bloke could actually write a book about relationships. And, I must admit, there was a secondary purpose: I wanted to relive and recreate the world of my youth. This book - "World enough, and Time" (note the poetic reference?) grew into a cycle of four interlocking novels spanning thirty years and hundreds of characters.
In fact, Alex (my alter ego) makes an appearance on this site: his departure for university was excised, buffed up and inserted under the title "All the way to Scotland.." And, despite finding no favour with the cherry-givers, it's still there because it's my own favourite.
Alex, by the way, also purges himself with private poetry. Far too late, Becky accidentally uncovers his files and realises that she's always been his obsession. So, albeit in different ways, maybe we're talking about the same thing.
No apologies this time - okay?
Cheers, Roy
P.S. I'm with you on the cherry issue, too. Have you seen how few are being awarded lately? I can't get an understandable answer on this one to save my life.
Mississippi aka...
Roy,
I didn't mean you to think I took it personally, I didn't express myself very well did I?
My writing wasn't deliberate in any way. It was uncontrollabe misery and at the time I was hardly aware I was doing it.
Without the pain I can only talk, the necessary ingredient for writing only comes when I'm in absolute agony.
I think I can shed some light on the dearth of cherries!
It's a secret plot emanating from Brussels, you see ABC have been buying them by the lb. and some bloody dictator in the EU has declared the purchase of anything by the lb. punishable by becoming a cherrypicker at ABC!
So you see the very people who buy the cherries, or not, as the case may be, end up also awarding them, but by trying to buy cherries illegally and getting caught red-handed they end up with no cherries to award!
How does that sound?
andrew pack
Bearing in mind Emily's shock revelations and a quick calculation of inflation - Barbie magazine's letter page is far more lucrative per word than this site.
Dear Barbie, Loved the latest issue. I am thirty and love horses and shopping and gangster movies and The Smiths and Steve McQueen. I hope one day you will marry Ken, that would be lovely.
Here's to a new career !
Mississippi
Be careful Andy boy,
If you're not careful you're gonna blow all your credibility in one go!
andrew pack
Mississipi -
Sod credibility, I just want the cash from Barbie magazine.
(Oh, where did all my idealism go ? The horror, I have abandoned all pretence of art and become a Barbie-Sellout!)
dave small
You have in a way answered your own question. Writing something; anything, is personal therapy in itself. Most people's lives have an element of sadness, tragedy,etc; Writing brings out truth, nothing more, nothing less. Writers are self analysts to me and realise the meaning of deep feelings.
However when they put things into words it is sometimes a plea for help and the words are meaningless except to themselves. I myself find writing the only medium with which I can convey my feelings correctly.
I am a deeply romantic and passionate person and I realise that life can easily hurt me because of this. Writing to me is in a way a defence against life, hurt,etc.
I seek no profit or fame from it.
Read my poetry, you'll see what I mean......Good luck, get in touch if I can be of any help at all.
Dave Small
mercy
I'm here because I'd like an honest opinion of what I put out..
I'm here because I feel isolated, I live in Ethiopia and do not know others who are into poetry (or prose..)
I'm here because I guess I want to be heard by someone..
I'm also here because I came across it and thought this was a cool site with lots of cool people I could hook up with..
j
I'd like to read the work you've posted, but I can't find your name when I search!
I started writing in similar circumstances to you, but now the crisis is over I have to push myself to write. It's not so easy now but more satisfying, less self-indulgent.
I originally put some stuff on ABCtales to find out if my friends were just biased, but there's just one piece left up. The rest has been submitted to writing sites with stricter acceptance criteria. The Jury's out....
j
mark yelland-brown
To a certain extent all writers are dealing in self analysis if they are worth anything. From a purely subjective point of view, I believe the best writers, work with an integrity that pervades their narrative vouice, even sometimes despite themselves. Writing for purely cathartic reasons is obviously more to do with giving to the writer than the reader, but in the process, if the writing is good enough, then it will bless the reader as well. The great thing about ABCtales is the fact there are so many different types of writing. There are also so many reasons why people are writing, and I would say a good one third is purely cathartic , a cry for help and an acknowledgment that that particular writer is not the only one going through stuff. Writing is so subjective. You have already expressed a dislike for stuff that's been cherry picked, and the best thing is you're not wrong, but your not right either. But you have as much right to express your opinion. You also have as much right, on this site to write what you like. Why not start an informal diary, it is something that the site has started encouraging, so that people can have an opportunity to flex their writing muscles. Above all use the site to realise there are literally thousands of people in the same position realising they have got a voice, I mean, who the bloody hell am I? But I have a forum where I have the opportunity to express myself.
Yours, longwindedly, Mark.
Mississippi
I'm sorry Mark but you seem to have missed the point, I wasn't looking for an analysis of my reasons for being here, I was hoping to find out why others are here, and their reasons for writing etc. I am fully aware of my own problems and their causes and also know the remedies, whether or not I can bring myself to take the medicine is another matter.
I would have been far happier to hear your reasons for being here, and what percentage of your output you have enough confidence in to expose to scrutiny.
When I said my total output was here I meant deliberate composition, not literally everything I've ever written. In fact I have kept a diary for seventeen years now but I wouldn't want anyone to read it; it is harrowing reading and not for those with delicate sensibilities. And lastly, you have obviously read through the cherrypickers thread although you haven't contributed, but here again you have misunderstood me. I did not express a dislike for cherrypicked material, I merely said that I didn't understand what criteria was used to select it and what qualifications the unidentified pickers possessed. Sorry to be pedantic but it is so easy to get off the subject when misread.
(Forgive my mis-spelling in my original posting).
gabrielle
I'm here because I want to be a writer.
I want to put WRITER on my passport.
I write to be read.
I want my writing to be good and I need people to like it so that it can get published, so I can walk into WHSmith and there will be my latest novel (even, if there is only one!)
I want to do a book signing in my local Waterstones.
I don't want to be famous (like Agatha or Catherine or Joanna) but I want to be well thought of.
I would like to be nominated for a prize, do radio shows, be interviewed on TV... but in a subdued, writerly way, not as show biz.
But I'll do without those bits as long as I can call myself a writer, a published writer. Short stories in the magazines, a novel every couple of years.
I want .... I want.....
But why do I want this?
Now there's a question!
andrew pack
Good subject, since to answer it requires a bit of honesty and a good look at your ego.
I like writing. I enjoy it and it's a habit. If you read my story 'Don't Forget the Songs' you will see how long I've been at it, and that I realise now that 95% of the stuff I've written is dross.
But at least I'm now aware of that. I would like to think optimistically that in the stuff I'm writing now, that much of what would have got through to final version in the past is now filtered out by my critical radar.
I don't think I'm up to publishing yet and maybe I never will, at the end either your talent has enough of a spark to make it, or it won't. I'm in no position to judge that, being biased. All I can say is that I don't think my writing will get any better if I just stop writing, or write and stick it in my desk drawer for no-one to read.
And strangers reading it on the site don't have any obligation to pretend they like it. I've had some kind emails from some people who don't know me, who have liked some of my stuff. That helps a lot with motivation.
I"m not really under the illusion that this site is my passport to book signings and chat shows (although everyone daydreams now and then, just like you don't buy a lottery ticket without mentally spending your winnings), but I do enjoy posting and reading on the site, and maybe it'll pull my work a bit nearer to the targets I set myself.
Mississippi
Mark, you haven't offended me in the slightest, I just thought that you had misunderstood me and at worst was maybe a bit patronising, but then again perhaps I'm being a bit over-sensitive.
Your honesty about your reasons for posting is refreshing I must say but I detect a darker side to your character here, come clean about the cherrypicking business!
A bit of schoolboy detective work has identified you as David St Bonk.
Perhaps you would explain why you felt the need to hide behind a nom de keyboard.
Also would you please clarify whether you are:-
a) the David Street bonker
b) David the patron saint of bonking!
auntie jackie
Hi Mississippi,
I found your work, and 'Wow' what a poem (your last one). You are a writer in every sense of the word. To be a writer you have to take the reader to your world, your pain, your happiness and you certainly took me there. Well done!
But sorry I digress from your question. I sort of came into writing by default really. I have always had a rich imagination. I see the funny and silly things in every situation, no matter how dire it is. Look for it and it's there somewhere. Anyway, I used to tell my children stories as they were growing up, hands would be raised and "Oh Mum" not another story with a sad ending. So I started to write them down. I then went to college to learn how to E-publish my work, resulting in my website. However I wanted to know what children thought of them, hands on so to speak. I was invited to a local school as a guest writer, (me a writer, no, I just like words) anyway I came away that day on cloud nine, drugs, alcohol, forget it. To feel the touch and have a cuddle from a child that you have transported into another world is, well, wonderful. Call me daft, but you just can't put a pound sign on that emotion or experience.
My poems are a different kettle of fish. I have always put a poem on cards, birthday, Christmas etc, for friends and family. Most of my poems are written on a piece of kitchen paper as I am going to bed. When they start to form they just sort of take over. They are truly from the heart. One day I will look out for all those bits of paper and may be put them on ABC tales as well.
I seem to have waffled on a bit, I hope that this is the answer to your question.
auntie jackie :>)
Jennifer
I am here because I heard about the site on the radio. I started to read, and read, and read....
I have written for three years now, properly. properly as in for my own pleasure. I write out my pain, emotions, anger, etc. - if I let it out onto the page, it purges it from me and I feel happier - gets it out of my system.
I write because I am inspired to write by things I read, songs I hear - anything can spark it.
I write because I can.
I put my work on here (as of last week) because I'd like it to be read! I'd like opinions on it - please comment.
And yes, one day I would like to be published (hey - I'm young - let me have my big dreams!!)
Jx