Argy Bargy

I have just had a bit of bother, or argy bargy in my local with a jerk in a monkey suit. He threatened to give me a knuckle sandwich because he thought he had spied my mug someplace, and thought I was going to help myself to a five finger discount from the till.

Just when I was about to tell him that he'd dropped a clanger, a yuppie stepped in and I mosied on down to the back room, where some hoofers were dancing to an icky tune, being played on an old joanna by a stiff wearing a penguin outfit. He was making a real dog's breakfast of it!

I gave the bookies a quick bell and put a pony on a gee gee in the four o'clock. Just then the gorilla reappeared, followed by the big-cheese owner of the joint. I decided it was time to vamoose and made a sharp exit.

Admittedly, I was trying to compile a dictionary of slang at the time, so the experience wasn't completely wasted.