First home and all that/ live event biz!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.. Sorry to be so late to arrive on this thread but i've had a miserable cold and a heavy period all week and consequently have been feeling very disembodied. Want to say a big thankyou to whichever fabulous ABC sorcerer removed me from the building last friday and replaced me with the dreadful squawky squawky Davina McCawl (see George's photos for proof) I nearly didn't make it to my cousin Rob's fiftieth birthday party on account of an extreme bout of car sickness on the saturday morning. Must have been the drink. Apologies to Tony Cook for weeping into his drink at the mention of the war in Iraq (!!) The curse, the curse of PMT. He's such a lovely, reassuring man i couldn't help myself. Well, apologies over, i had a Brilliant time from what i remember. Liana is indeed very beautiful and came straight over to say hello, and Fishy was glowing and soo lovely. I was late (as usual) and missed their readings so, Pleeease, when is the next event? Everybody was in fact great and so very friendly. When is the next one?

What indiscretion is that Missi?

You tired of living Flashy? I'll send 'em tonight, Small Sliced Brown.

ooo emotional???? we had a super time in fact ... tippety top readings and booze galore .. what could be better????

Isnt Spack just the PRETTIEST thing?

He has nice lips!

Where on earth are you two?

Yes, he is. If I were a woman, I'm sure I would have fancied him from day one. As it is, he's just cool.

They seem to be in Clapham. As are we.

Blimey there are four of you! Rachel reminds me of a young Stevie Nicks! L and F charming and beautiful as ever but we do not talk enough. Hen, read some more John Irving, that will sort it all out. You are all great! Ralph x

Martin T, just the nicest man on the planet, Hox looking bewildered and happy as Larry. Tan, sexy and mad, Spider working it all out. Norwich of course flexing talent. Myself and Missi (who read really well) shaking hands at last. The ABC boys , Cook , Gardiner, Brown and Floyd. Its time to take the bull by the bollocks. Lets talk next week. And all the rest. Happy, drunk and I have run out of bread for toast. Wobbly xx

I have been wigging out to California by Joni Mitchell. It rocks my drunken world.

i have woken up in bed with liana and rachel ... possibly some people's pet fantasy but i can tell you liana is like a very hot thing and both of them snore ...

*fantasises and chokes on cornflakes*

A very sobering day for me. As I normally do, I got to town early and spent the late afternoon in Charing CrossRd/Tottenham Court Rd/Oxford St. blowing money on anything that took my fancy. In this case, five books and a couple of DVD's. Browsing in HMV has become traumatic for me, now I realise that all the 'outrageous' music I grew up to, and which the 'older' generation were horrified by, is now to be found in the 'Easy Listening' section. I was thoroughly pissed off. This wasn't improved when I also realised that I was probably the oldest attendee at Extra Time. It was an enjoyable evening though, but not as well attended as I had been convinced it might be, (where were all those others, I expected at least a 1% turn-out). It's always a pleasure to meet new faces though,and last night had several. Neil, the bean checker ought to change his name as he's no where near as numerically constrained as the term 'auditor' suggests, quite apart from the fact that he told me he paid good money for a room at a hostelry; hardly the thing bean-counters are famed for. Rachel is a darling and a very effective sales person. I am now the owner of a 'special edition' ABC mug that has been 'Lipographed' by the lady herself. How can I ever wash it or drink tea from it? Hovis, I can report is charming, Marc Barber is a BIG guy (vertically, not horizontally). Others I met, but didn't get around to chatting with, partly because I wasn't aware they were in attendance until too late, were Sheepshank and Spack. There were also several others whose names escape me, I'm hoping Liana can fit names to faces for me. There were also a few personal friends missing, James being one and Karl being another. These meetings are to me at any rate, more to do with socialising than reading, though that's not to say I didn't enjoy the serious bit of the evening. I think most people would say that the Oscar for performance would have to go to Rokkitnite, who should dump his writing course and sign up for performing arts (I don't mean his writing isn't good, just that his 'acting' is brilliant). I have to confess, in a moment of weakness I allowed Martin Togher to bully me into touching hands with a 'why's man'. I wouldn't want anyone to read too much into this, as I'm still waiting for a package from the local butcher containing a pound of flesh. All I can say is it's very difficult for a gentle, sensitive, caring, easy-going guy like myself to maintain levels of animosity indefinitely. (Yes, I know it's a character defect, I really must try to keep my equilibrium) I took pics as I usually do, and also a video (I was hoping to include at least one item by everyone that performed BUT the battery on my camcorder died before the end of the evening (I think it's worn out and I have to replace it), and I missed the last couple of readers. Anyway, those that want the pics may email me and I'll send them on as soon as I've D/L them and fiddled with 'em. The video (such as it is) will also be available to anyone that's willing to pay for a cassette and postage. I'll need a week or two to get around to sending stuff.

I left out a few names and am redeeming myself before anyone gets sensitive. It was lovely to see Tanya again and also Gerry, Fishy, Tony, Mark and a cowardly Lofty Gardenia, who wore a plain black shirt. For a moment I thought someone had died. Among those missing in action were Jude, AJ and Wolfie. Love to all.

I had a great time. My head feels like I got really really drunk last night. I can't work it out... I thought Marc Barber was a champ - his reading was brill. And he bought me a shot of vodka, so he wins. Lovely to meet lots of you, although I sadly didn't get a chance to speak to everyone... Hurrah for ABC! Joexxx

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! bring me pills and juice........... in an abc mug..............

i witnessed that touching ,moment when ralph and missi grapsed hands in manly fashion... good old night.... oscar goes to rokkitnite who gave a fantabulous performance..... good to meet some lovely new people and that very sexy trio, rachel, liana, and fish....rachel smelt lovely!! and hovis of course.....the little minx.... was very glad to grab a taxi which poured me out at the top of my road at about 2......

Was a fabulous evening. Great to finally put faces to names. Rokkit did indeed perform wonderfully, as did everyone else. Very brave of you all and excellent readings. Hovis I do apologise for wittering away about absolute crap at 2am! Was great to meet you. Then there are a few mysteries.... why did I wake up in an empty (but suspiciously clean) house with my pants on back to front and a fridge full of smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels? I don't mind in the slightest, but it would be good to know...........

and Martin.......... I really do not smell lovely............... this morning! [%sig%]

This afternoon Rachel.

ah yes........... Where were you flashy, you were missed?

oooo i wish we had brought those bagels home ...

so do I

First it's my pies, now fishies bagels, this woman has no shame.

None what so ever. Can I have that bit of cake, Hoxie?

Let’s be honest, it was rubbish. No, only joking. Never been to anything like it before but really enjoyed it. As for turnout, well, those who didn’t come missed a good night. It was something completely different, and all the better for it. I thought fish was brilliant, even though I am considering filing charges for sexual harassment. and cheers to the fellas for organising it. nice one. On another note, I have no heating or hot water in my flat. Weirdly, it's warmer outside than indoors. Life sucks. Ho hum. [%sig%]

*considers prosecution for defamation of character*

*will be witness for prosecution*

Was i missed awwww what a lovely bunch you are, sorry Rachel i was...er....busy. What stuff was read out last night and who read? If you don't mind nosey old me asking.

Bloody hell. I nearly gassed us all to death trying to light a cigarette, and I have tiny fragments of Rachel's glass in my fingers. And I left my mug at hers, and didn't wash the cafetiere. And Liana magically produced a plate of salmon bagel and oranges out of thin air! And then my shoes! Tim was marvellous, but needed to be got home this morning, poor guy. When we got off the train, it turned out we'd been travelling on the same one as my friend, Nicole, who was visiting us from America. So she appeared alongside us at the platform. Crazy! And we never even got to the bloody careers fair in Wembley to reclaim ten pounds off our tickets.

yes hen, my cats have tiny fragments of your glass in their mouths - was very clever of you to break it into their food... [%sig%]

and I will be auctioning your mug on ebay.

I really enjoyed it. I must have had far too much to drink as I ended up being persuaded to go clubbing afterwards, which is completely out of character. Liked all the performers, Rokkitnite was suitably explosive and Mississippi stepped out of his forum persona, in a good way. For me, the best thing ABCtales nights is, unlike a lot of the poetry readings I go to, none of the performers take it, or themselves, too seriously and the weird and wonderfulness of the social occasion is the most important thing. Here's to the next one. How many mugs did we sell?

I didn't break the glass, Rach. Tim did. I tried my best to tidy the bastard up. I did think of the cats today. Didn't realise it had gone in their food though. Jeez....really, really sorry about that :-(

Sorry, hen. I posted that before I got your email. I will think of something nasty to say about Tim instead.... (except am too hungover). No worries...

Don't worry, Mr. Stoat We quite enjoyed the spikey bits. Plain old Iams are terribly boring and the beery glass added a certain je ne sais quoi to the dish. We only bled because we enjoy the attention. Paws, Tashi and Turtle PS. Tell Rokkit that we did a poo in his pocket

I'm back home safely and thanks everyone for being so supportive and just plain nice - a bit scary reading but I'm really really glad I came down. I took someone's advice (I think it was Tony's - he's a great advice-giver) and went to the Tate Modern this morning. £1 on the bus, free to get in and a cheap kebab in a cafe near Kings Cross to fortify me for the trip back - London can be enjoyed on the cheap after all! Will definitely do it again!

Yes Hen.. as well as the bagel orange and shoes trick, I saved you from burning yourself (and Rachel's sofa) to cinders... Rokkit and Hen sang me to sleep on the sofa playing Portishead songs on the guitar, and then i woke with Rokkit yelling at Hen not to be such a court jester and Hen shouting something terribly rude back at Rokkit... and Rokkit insisting I have a pillow... It was an eye opener in more than one way... The abctales events are always glorious... they are a hotbed of talent and friendship and emotions (and booze) are usually in full flow. Marc Barber looks like a very tall and very serious philosopher, except he has the filthiest grin I have ever seen... and reads a mean story. Hovis was scrummy and bought lots of nuts and kettle chips with which (in my haste to scoff the most) I lacerated my lips... Tan is beautiful and zany, and at last I met Marks gorgeous partner. It was lovely to meet Sheepshank, who is quiet and funny and lovely and worried looking... Missi's reading was grand, and his haircut is fab. Everyone was great, and I really really enjoyed myself. I just wish these do's were longer and we could spend more time chatting to each other.. Imagine though, if we didnt have them at all? Brrrrr.... donate like mad everyone. Oh, and everyone that didnt make it this time, make it next time... the bubbles of love that abound are wonderfully heart warming. *grins* Now that, is a community at work.

Me? Terribly rude to Rokkit? Naaah. I might have called him a pissed up bastard, but we always call each other pissed up bastards. Sorry I didn't finish the breakfast, by the way. I was enjoying it, but Tim was fairly insistent that we went. Oh, and thanks for saving me from injury by fire. Not the first time I've been saved off that fate! I'm clearly destined to die by fire.

Perhaps Promethius@ in future? Sounds like you all had a ball (with the possible exception of R's cats) Watch yer liver...

After missing my last train home from Farringdon it meant a taxi to Victoria and the dreaded Friday midnight train to Brighton - a den of utter ill repute frequented by some of the nation's most revered drunks, pill heads and maniacs. But they all missed it and it was an uneventful journey home. I even woke up at Brighton and did not find myself in a siding. These are minor miracles and can only presage great things for the future. An excellent evening - thankyou all for your fun and solidarity - and here's to the next one.

Got em Missi - many thx!! sorry can't help you identify the last four reprobrates ..... some v interesting shots not least the Britney/madonna one!!! it looks like a decent digital - what type is it?? I'm thinking of treating myself as feeling a little stale

I've emailed the pics to those that asked and a few that didn't. Martin and Vicky didn't receive them as I was notified by Hotmail that their mailboxes are full. Jude honey, your old mail addy is the only one I have.

Just got the pics. So Henstoat really is the evil one. There are a couple of suitable subjects for blackmail there I think. *starts cutting up newspaper headlines*

Was a little bit late and missed the early readings though thoroughly enjoyed the remainder... of particular note for me were George's sad poems which interspersed with his intros provided much entertainment??? sometimes you got to laugh at life George... and Rokits explosive delivery of something to do with little birds. Enjoyed meeting old faces and some new ones too and as always the evening went extr fast... A friend who had not previously heard of ABCTales, and who I dragged along impromptu without warning him what to expect commented on what a strange and disparate (or was that desperate!?) yet friendly crowd we made - and it is true, were it not for writing and ABCTales, it is hard to imagine what would draw such a different group of people together - It is what make these sort of nights unpredictable and thus never boring. I look forward to future events where even more of you will make the effort to attend, and where you can always rely on inspiration and support, wherever it is you are coming from.

I'd like the pics please Missi! My Email is as on the "browse members" screens

"So Henstoat really is the evil one." You tried your best, Missi....

Oh.. it cant be worse than the one of me he sent... *fans self*