big bang in the night

Hopefully Emma wouldn't have her tongue near his nuts and bolts anyhow...

at the moment the soap dish remains off the wall, as michael jackson memorably said

Is it one of those eighties ones that had magnets on them? I miss those.

suckers suckers no magnets

Yeah, but there used to be ones that were suckered to the wall, but then held the soap to them with magnets.... are you sure it wasn't one of those. You used to have to push a magnet into the bar of soap. They were great.

Oh yeah, they were brilliant! Until the bar wore thin, and you lacerated your arse on the magnet whilst having a shower. Then they weren't so bloody brilliant!

why George, I thought you'd never ask! ... you asume the position and practice relaxing your pelvic floor and I'll order an industrial vat of swarfega. Thanks Schmeichel, I appreciate the thought but it does rather sound like the last thing a creative writer wants to hear.

Ahhh, they were only for 'sink' usage. Everyone knew that.

*trys hard to imagine George bathing in the sink*

You misunderstand, Ian. My interest is purely voyeuristic.

george had a tin bath, if he were lucky, and water, if he were lucky, most of the time he just bathed in saw dust, and he was thankful for that

As it happens, Martin, you're right. We had a tin bath until I was 16. I was always third in the water which by then was so thick it felt like sawdust.

What made me think this thread was going to be of a sexual nature?

nothing i said

yeah yeah. it begins with the soapdish, then escalates to the lid of the breadbin suddenly developing fatigue. Quite quickly all the doors have a falling out with the hinges and the next thing you know, you're dna unravels and all that's left of you is a small pool of water on the kitchen floor. The universe is in decay, and I blame the council.

sucker???? why don't you have screws like a normal person?

He obviously hadn't licked it enough...

well it's your call big fella but you don't know what you're missing out on... "It cleans the grease from parts other sexual perversions can't reach"

There ya go! I KNEW my instinct was right.

yes we had suckers it wouldn't be my first choice for a soap dish, mrs_t liked the design, and usually it stays up very successfully i leave all the licking stuff to mrs_t

Shame on you. I'm sure Mrs. T would like the licking to be shared around a bit betwixt the two of you. For the soapdish, of course.

This thread has got more double entendres than a Carry on film.

chances are, the tiles were already up and he didn't want to have to drill through them to screw it to the wall because a cracked tile is a pain tin the arse, hence suckers. Actually it's very easy, you just need to buy a tile bit for your drill (looks like a spear) and drill with the hammer action switched off. When you come to drill, you'd be advised to go at a slow speed until your bit has made a little mark in the surface because it can skid about the place a bit if you go at full speed, and also spray a little water as you go because the bit gets very hot and can set any paper behind the tile (ie from old wallpaper or even plasterboard) smouldering. the good nbews is that it makes a lovely neat hole, also remember to bury the rawl plug beyond the tile because they expand as you screw into them and that could crack the tile too (you do this by tapping it flush then just popping a screw into the mouth of the plug and tapping that until the head of the plug is behind the tile then take the screw out.) The same applies to drilling through floor tiles, roof tiles, Travatine (marble looking) tiles and worktops etc. Youi can even drill holes in glass with the right bit and a lot of nerve and patience but that's not for the beginner. how did this become a DIY thread... oh it didn't, sorry.

you are a wise duy guru, eli...yes the tiles were put up, by a great tiler called fergus, i didn't see a need for a soap dish on the wall, but i was over ruled by mrs_t, i went into the bathroom one day, and there it was , in all it's full of soap glory, and it remained up there until early this morning...

It's just that I've NEVER had any luck with suckers. From those on your soap dish to clocks that stick to your windscreen or even tax discs for that matter. Anything that needs spit to keep it up just doesn't work for me. As a kid I could never get those arrows you get with the suckers on the end to stick to anything for more than about ten seconds and that was after i resorted to just pinning my enemy down on his back, licking the end and slamming it on his forehead without using the bow at all! As a sign fitter I had to lift enormous (and therefore expensive) pieces of glass onto walls and fixings and cables etc. You're supposed to use sucker pads to lift the glass. You clamp them on and push down the little handles over the suckers and it's meant to make a perfectly gripped suction hold but on three occasions they just gave up and the glass dropped while whoever was holding the other end would just stand there, suckers in full effect, laughing at me. maybe it's my spit, I have no idea. Whenever I see some crime caper and where a burgler is scaling the outside of a bank using suckers to get across the windows, I always wince because I know, if it was me I'd never make it past the first floor!

ely thank you for explaining that so clearly. I shall print out and keep. You should write diy manuals sir.

Martin, Solution, to prevent further unwanted bangs in the night... Break out your Mikita cordless drill, line tha soap dish up level on the wall in a spot of your choice. Drill a hole through each suction cup and put a good long screw through it into the wall. There's ya go Miss, solved two problems with one post. The dish will stay put, and you get to see screwing... Sorry Emma, better move your tongue first! Unless you have some spare nuts & bolts sitting around, in which case, thread one through. Watch those metal detectors though.

That's all very informative Ian, but can we PLEASE get back to the nocturnal banging?