Cutting The Grass ...

strim the ming

string the mim

Trim your privet hedge into the shape of a the PM's head, a bottle of Vodka or a pair of testicles.

Ps - I know that isn't strictly "The Grass" but I felt at liberty to extend into the whole garden theme seeing as the election seriousness is over and we can get back to cake and lipstick.

A guy in Wyoming got fined for making a snow weenie...I'd double think that testicle thing.

you could mow a bas relief portrait of the PM into the lawn...wouldn't -that- impress airplane passengers as they fly over your house?

Make crop circles.

Write a blog about it....

Rent a goat.

A mower will probably do it, but you'll have to go very slowly. Of course, only with a power mower. If you have a push mower, you're on your own, fish. Or you could use a weed whacker to cut it down to a more manageable size, then use the mower. I had this problem several times. The mower will work, but you'll stall it a few times.

I thought liana was your friend?

no.. the mower thing wont work... the garden is a fair size, and it will need to be strimmed first. I laughed, becaue mine is the size of a footy pitch, and I have had the same problems. I only have a hover mower. Useless. Luckily today, I found a gardener, and he came round tonight with a big spay hose from a drum thing on his back, and tackled the weeds at the bottom. Next Thurs he is coming round to strim, then he will leave it for three days to dry (hopefully) and then he will bring his big sod off mower round and mow it all. Then, I will be able to keep on top of it... (hopefully) thats what you need to do.

Sounds like armagaeddon at the pesky household.

You're always on top of the grass, Liana - in your hammock... ;-) I once tackled a mate's lawn. She was a DIY nutcase and did everything inside - gutted the place, did her own plastering and kitchen fitting, the lot....but she neglected the garden. She thought I couldn't get my hands dirty but one day she was off out and I told her to leave me a few tools and I'd tackle the garden. Four hours later and the four foot long grass was trim, borders tidy etc and when she returned (I'd gone by then), she told me she'd spent the evening sitting on the doorstep with a glass of wine staring in amazement...well, with regard to the grass, I do remember that on that occasion the situation was absurd re lack of appropriate tools, so I literally tied the lawn in loads of bunches like a kid's hair do...and then cut each one off...it was truly the only way at the time!! Once it was down to a certain level I went over the damn thing on my knees with shears...god, I must have been mad! I should probably have been practicing my Mozart or something and was avoiding getting on with it.

Reminds me of a story a college friend told me about a Rasta who was the grounds keeper at a a marine biology field station. The guy used to cut the grass one blade a a time with little fingernail scissors. Of course, his concentration on this tedious task was aided by being stoned 24/7.

The easiest way to deal with this problem is to buy a couple of geese. They will keep the grass cut and make brilliant 'watchdogs'.

Not to mention the built-in fertiliser factory!