Celebrity Love Island

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Tue, 2005-05-17 14:41

Rely on me to lower the tone.

BUT, this programme was surely made with me in mind. It has everything. Low rent celebs, sun, sea, sand, the public voting for who they want to have sex, when probably most of them have had sex before hand.

Sexy ladies not drinking milking coffee because it is 'fattening' (ha ha, so THAT'S how they do it)

It also has Lee Sharpe, who, from the moment he stepped on the beach made me think, 'There is actually a God, and that God is perverse, making me fancy blokes like Ade Edmondson and Paul Merton and Christopher Ecclestone and DEAR GOD NO, a bloody footballer like Lee Sharpe.'

There is no accounting for my taste in men, and for once, I would like to watch something on TV or be in a group of people WITHOUT developing unsuitable crushes. I've been like this since I was about 7 and fancied this new zealander in my class and stuck a 'I LOVE NEW ZEALAND' sticker from my granny smith on my pencil case to send him a subtle message.

(caveat: I am in a happy relationship with with someone I like very much, and these crushes are obviously unrelated in any way.)

Sat, 2005-05-21 06:05

Liana

Wonder where you feature on her list Storms. Dylan Moran is brilliant - and gorgeous (though that's got little to do with his talent). I recorded it so I can titter again at leisure. Celeb Island would be really good if it featured interesting people... i loved celeb jungle when john lydon was in it because he was fun (ish) to watch. I suppose real celebs would cost too much money, or would'nt do something like this though. It would be fab to see Paul O' Grady or Ian Hislop on there with Abi Titmuss. Bloodbath, heh.

Sat, 2005-05-21 09:30

Smiley

I'm thinking of going to France in search of one of those chocolate things that you want to set up home with... erm, we're talking life-changing confectionery here. Than Moran bloke is the sort of person who you'd nip out for a pint with and wake up in pennyless in Prague or tipsy in Tibet, but been so entertained that you wouldn't mind - too much - so long as you hadn't bumped into any Smurfs.

Sat, 2005-05-21 09:32

archergirl

My mother-in-law joined the Chocolate Taster's Club. Absolutely decadent, and delivered right to your door. For a price, of course...

Thu, 2005-05-19 10:00

fergal

I know Liana. It is terrible. But I can't stop watching it. Nothing happens. But I still fancy Lee Sharpe. Perhaps I need to get out more. (ooh, and I start a job at the council on Monday.....)

Thu, 2005-05-19 10:02

Liana

whooo!!! thats brilliant, well done you. Now, STOP watching that shit.

Thu, 2005-05-19 10:17

jude

so what happens - I don't watch much TV (although that monastery series at the moment is good) ABC love Island - you throw me on an island in nothing but my Matalan's cotton undies and unleash a bunch of salivating, maniacal writers upon me???

Thu, 2005-05-19 10:31

Smiley

You can beat them off with your bible, Jude :o)

Thu, 2005-05-19 11:07

fergal

What happens Jude, is that a bunch of people more vain than the wicked step mother, with less brains or interesting qualities than a royal family, sit about in the sun, applying sunlotion and talking absolute crap. Sometimes they posture wildly, try to impress the others by, say, doing abstract yoga positions, or dive-bombing in the swimming pool. Sometimes they talk about how hard it is with media intrusion. They usually say this while adjusting their bikinis and have the camera do a close up of their crotch/chest/both. Um. Why am I watching this? As I said before. Because I fancy Lee Sharpe. I really am that fickle.

Thu, 2005-05-19 11:17

#10

Smiley

Good luck on Monday, Fergal! I hope you like the new job. Actually, a lot of your discription reminds me of Italians at the swimming pool - they rarely get wet though - so unless the nearness of the Vatican has a suppressing effect then Jude is probably well aware of the attention seeking aspects of the sun-tanned sex gods :o)

Wed, 2005-05-18 17:19

#11

mamasboys rebail

sorry about that last cooment no one wants to talk to me anymore

Sun, 2005-05-22 14:03

#12

Tony Cook

Ooh, My Mum's in that too. Is it a Mum thing? Won't watch CLI - just one more letter and it would have been fun.

Tue, 2005-05-17 14:55

#13

Radiodenver

I think I rather watch clouds drift by.

Tue, 2005-05-17 14:59

#14

fergal

Well, yeah, me too, but there are no clouds drifting anywhere at 9pm in the heart of the red light district in Norwich, I can tell you.

Tue, 2005-05-17 15:05

#15

Radiodenver

They are there, you just can't see them.

Tue, 2005-05-17 15:14

#16

fergal

makes 'watching' rather difficult, non? Anyway, I know for a fact that this programme is cretinous, manipulative and disgusting. I also know that I love watching it, and therefore deserve all I get.

Sun, 2005-05-22 20:38

#17

Smiley

After following a link on one of the threads earlier this week I stumbled on this sexy strip The joke being that the two chaps behind the sandwich/hotdog counter can't enjoy the spectacle until it's on a mobile phone :o)

Sun, 2005-05-22 20:54

#18

archergirl

I guess that's what they would term a 'Brazilian' then, would it? *ouch!*

Tue, 2005-05-17 15:34

#19

Radiodenver

Cretinous....that's a better word than erudite.

Sun, 2005-05-22 21:08

#20

Smiley

Elvis Presley has been named the most successful music act of all time by Guinness World Records, cementing his position as the king of popular music in the UK. I CAN believe that BUT Cliff at number two. Who can credit someone named Clifford would be named the second most successful music act of all time?? 1. Elvis Presley 2. Cliff Richard 3. The Beatles 4. Queen 5. Madonna 6. Elton John 7. The Shadows 8. Micahael Jackson 9. David Bowie 10. U2

Sun, 2005-05-22 21:11

#21

archergirl

Especially since no-one in the United States has ever heard of him, or am I the only Yank who hadn't?

Tue, 2005-05-17 15:47

#22

mississippi

Did someone say jasper?

Tue, 2005-05-17 15:50

#23

fergal

Hello George.

Tue, 2005-05-17 15:56

#24

mississippi

lmao Hi Hayley, how the devil are you? It occurred to me whilst reading this thread that an ABC version of that programme might include participants such as, Rita Stormy Stephy Maid Marion Twatsper Sean Fishy Flashy Liana Ely Jude ..well that would do for a start. It would be a bloodbath. I wonder who would be the finalists?

Tue, 2005-05-17 16:06

#25

fergal

rita and jasper, perchance? If there was an abc one I'd like to have a go, just for fun, obviously. I am fine thank you George. Happy to have a computer to go on for the afternoon.

Tue, 2005-05-17 16:11

#26

archergirl

I'm sure I'd lose rather quickly. I have no guile.

Tue, 2005-05-17 16:13

#27

fergal

Guile isn't all it's cracked up to be (but it's a great word though). I think an abc version would involve a lot of verbal (and maybe literal) beatings.

Tue, 2005-05-17 16:17

#28

archergirl

Now the verbal beatings I would enjoy (giving, that is...)...

Tue, 2005-05-17 16:40

#29

archergirl

Actually I think it would be more interesting to watch the goings on in the red-light district of Norwich, fergal. Norwich -has- a red-light district? Shocking! I used to live near the Tenderloin district in San Fransisco. Now THERE'S an interesting place to peoplewatch, fer sure...

Tue, 2005-05-17 16:57

#30

fergal

I promise you it wouldn't be more interesting. It would just be scary, depressing and unrelenting in equal measures. Yes Norwich has a red light district (as do most places), and there is nothing titilating or exhilirating about it at all, unfortunately.

Thu, 2005-05-19 18:09

#31

fergal

Can I just retract my fancying of Lee Sharpe. Let's just pretend a werid bug burrowed into my head for a moment and stole my faculties.

Tue, 2005-05-24 08:19

#32

Rachel

Isn' t there a strange sort of irony that this week "The worst mum in Britain" is being splashed all over the tabloid press (and I include ITV in this as one of the worst culprits) because her three daughters were pregnant aged 12, 14 and 16 (or something) and were therefore having sex, and yet Slebrity Brothelathon is aimed at exactly that age group?

Tue, 2005-05-17 17:38

#33

mamasboys rebail

anyone love there mamas

Tue, 2005-05-24 09:36

#34

archergirl

Social deviance has, alas, become the norm. Children are getting sexualised with thanks to the media (although clearly not sexually -educated- , thanks to parents and schools) far too young...

Tue, 2005-05-24 10:09

#35

Rachel

I was just sniggering at the transparency of it all, but it comes as no surprise. Like the "Poor Kylie breast cancer" headlines. Poor Kylie my arse, they're laughing all the way to the bank with a story like that. If you want to be even slightly socially responsible get Durex to sponser Zlebrity Slapperfest rather than some crappy little car that would fall apart after any moderate rogering within.

Tue, 2005-05-24 10:10

#36

Rachel

Gorks, hope this baby comes out soon, am turning into Mary Whitehouse for new millenium.

Tue, 2005-05-24 11:13

#37

archergirl

:-D Pregnancy makes you mean... call it the 'defensive urge'

Tue, 2005-05-17 20:05

#38

ely whitley

Thanks George, my first chance to meet others from ABC and I end up throwing half of them on the fire on day 1!

Mon, 2005-05-23 01:16

#39

stormy

>>Wonder where you feature on her list Storms.<< Oooo, get you! Ouch! Thanks for that Liana. Clearly, I won't feature on any list she makes, since she is unaware of my existence ... but you knew that, so your point is either purely malicious towards me or one of defending females from comments such as the one I made. Abi Titmuss has made her recent wealth on the back of a porno video that was suspiciously (a friend of John Leslie stole it from his flat, my arse)released while she was trying to get back into the public eye via Hell's kitchen. Her highly publicised attempt to legally block it only drew more attention and look what's happened to her since ... Sorry, but any woman in who makes her wealth by selling her body to the public (as she has surely done) deserves the kind of comment (and I did mean it lightheartedly since, obviously, it's a fantasy, the likes of which she encourages) I made above.

Mon, 2005-05-23 01:18

#40

stormy

Argh, apologies for the typos!

Tue, 2005-05-17 20:12

#41

mississippi

Well while you're at it, chuck that stupid kid above you on as well.

Mon, 2005-05-23 06:58

#42

Liana

Titmuss got *into* the public eye because she was the girlfriend of a celebrity accused of rape and he hired a publicist so she could make her fame off the back of it. She was a nurse. Most women would do that though wouldn't they? Nah, they wouldn't actually. Not malicious storms, just an attempt at a bitter kind of joviality.

Mon, 2005-05-23 07:24

#43

Liana

she hired the publicist, not he. Wasn't there a time when we didn't have to post apologies, disclaimers and the like?

Tue, 2005-05-17 20:23

#44

ely whitley

oh come on George, we all made silly baby sounds before we could talk. maybe he's trying to tell us he needs a nappy change

Tue, 2005-05-17 20:40

#45

archergirl

I'm sure my preschooler could spell better, in any case...

Fri, 2005-05-20 15:08

#46

d.beswetherick

I thought I might like it, bhecause I like Big Brother; but I'm already done with it. You need a varied group of people, not a bunch who are all similar. I didn't even find the women very attractive - apart from Abi Titmuss, who has a nice face. But that might just be me. d.beswetherick.

Fri, 2005-05-20 19:08

#47

Liana

A nice face, maybe. But there's got to be more to make someone attractive, surely to god. Seizing the opportunity to make a name and fortune from cashing in on a loved ones misery doesn't make a person attractive in my eyes. In fact I think she is the epitome of all that is wrong with celebrity these days. Talentless twat.

Fri, 2005-05-20 19:57

#48

archergirl

Yes, but, unfortunately, Liana, she seems to be what Joe Public wants to see...

Wed, 2005-05-18 22:07

#49

Liana

This is the worst thing I've ever seen on tv, and I'm pretty tolerant of crap these days. I can't comment further as am in total despair.

Fri, 2005-05-20 20:51

#50

Liana

Says a lot for them doesn't it?

Fri, 2005-05-20 21:04

#51

Smiley

On that theme, liana, I tuned in to the BBC on Saturday ready to watch Dr Who and caught the end of some "Come Dancing" style thing - where the public were voting for some guy who had no sense of rythm but, presumably, they found attractive. The guy said something about timing being unimportant as dancing was all about enjoying yourself and I had a sudden vision of soundless dancing, or dance where the musicians tried to stay in step with the dancers. Perhaps in the end talent will be meaningless and it will all be about looks. Never mind the quality feel the sex appeal :o) [%sig%]

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