unbelievable

16 posts / 0 new

Topic locked

Wed, 2006-01-25 09:04

unbelievable

i have to post this here because i am absolutely baffled and just need to say something about this ...

my son of 19 has been living with his girlfriend for 18 months and just before christmas they split ... some long running problems resolved themselves when she slept with someone else ... anyway not to judge that ...

they have a lease on a flat until early april and no way out of it without financial penalty and so have been trying to continue living there together but separately ...

last night i spoke to both of them and they both sounded extremely stressed ... loads of emotional stuff has been going on ... and his girlfriend in fact sounded so unhinged i phoned her mother to say i was worried about her and would she call her ...

a couple of hours later i had my son on the phone saying he had received a text message from the girlfriends mother saying the girlfriend was in hospital ... could i help ... he wasn't at the flat but with a friend ...

i spent the next couple of hours trying to call the girlfriend's mother, landline and mobile and not getting through ... eventually as my son was so distressed and worried i called their local hospitals and eventually the police ... all were helpful ...

finally i received a text from her mother saying she wasn't in hospital and a call from the police who had spoken to the mother ... it was all a HOAX ...

i am just astonished that this girl's MOTHER got involved and sent that text to my son ... wtf???? ... i can understand the girl getting so distressed and acting in that way ... but the MOTHER?

i can't decide whether i should try and speak to the mother and tell her what i think of her actions ... or just leave it well alone ...

either way ... it's unBELIEVABLE ...

Wed, 2006-01-25 09:26

ivoryfishbone

ha yes ...well i think if he had any doubts/guilts/responsibilities then the pair of them have ensured he is released from them ... it's partly upsetting because the girlfriend has felt like part of the family for a couple of years ...

Wed, 2006-01-25 09:40

archergirl

Is there any way your son can buy his way out of the lease? Or sublet on the sly until April (get a foreign student in or something?). The situation sounds highly flammable (and a little bit pathetic: oh those halcyon days of late teenagehood, how I don't miss them...been there, did that). I don't suppose you'd let him move back in with you until April...? I have to agree with BBF. It's good for your son to be rid of both girl and appalling example of mother. You don't just shack up with an individual; you shack up with the family as well.

Wed, 2006-01-25 09:47

ivoryfishbone

of course he can come home if he needs to ... but his job is in london and his mates etc and i think he needs those now ... but that IS appalling behaviour, isnt it? ... that mother should be worrying about her daughter's mental health not abetting her in maliciously worrying someone ... i think the police officer probably warned them about such activities which is a relief ...

Wed, 2006-01-25 10:01

ivoryfishbone

i think getting out of that situation is a priority for him RIGHT NOW ... don't you? and you're probably right about speaking to the mother ... either she knows what she's done and feels bad about it (hopefully) or she thinks it's perfectly ok ... in which case it wont help at all ... wise words BBF ...

Wed, 2006-01-25 10:08

archergirl

You're right: he needs to get out -right away-; it'll get much worse before it gets better. The nice thing about being that age is that it's more acceptable to couch-surf, and I'm sure his friends will be able to provide him a bed/sofa/floor for a few months. It's worth paying the next four months' rent just to be able to leave the situation for good. It never ceases to shock me, how horrible and manipulative some people can be, and for what? Revenge? Why is your son getting the shitty end of the stick from the girl if she's the one that broke the pact in the first place? Ah, me. Humans. Messy lot.

Wed, 2006-01-25 14:40

Jack Cade

I feel maybe you should speak to the mother just to see if, by any chance, there's something you're missing. I mean, ask her why she did it. Maybe, in some bizarre way, it will seem faintly understandable. I dunno. I just think you should hear it from the horse's mouth before you conclude that someone's that unhinged.

Wed, 2006-01-25 14:57

maddan

I wouldn't touch it with a bargepole. You'll only wind up picking a fight you don't want and making things even trickier for your son. Once he's moved out however, unleash hell.

Wed, 2006-01-25 16:25

tom_saunders

Walk away, Haddock, and concern yourself with people you like. Visit my blog: http://whatisthisstrangeplace.blogspot.com/

Wed, 2006-01-25 17:20

#10

Brooklands

Sounds mental - and in a text message. Now that's cheap. I'm sure the mother would not have phoned up and said "Quick! Quick! My daughter's in hospital!" But she's happy to send a cowardly text. I don't know what advice to give, so I won't give any. That's an amazing series of events though. A friend of mine - she was nineteen maybe, at the time - used to get texts from her ex-boyfriend who was in his late twenties saying he was going to top himself if she didn't come round and see him. She would phone him or go round and he'd be fine. It became his equivalent of saying: do you want to come round for a cuppa. Peculiar: I wonder whether using technology - computers included - makes it easier to be emotionally detached from what your saying. And the repercussions. Probably. Joe

Wed, 2006-01-25 17:28

#11

1legspider

Strange. You would expect a more mature response from a mum. Did she admit to this or could the daughter have sneaked the message on her mum's mobile... easy to do after all.

Wed, 2006-01-25 18:04

#12

2Lou

Whittaker, Whittaker, Whittaker.......... No actually, that's a good point, Llegspider.

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

Wed, 2006-01-25 18:07

#13

ivoryfishbone

well i don't know ... they are 100 miles apart so unless the daughter had the mother's phone all along ... i dunno ...

Wed, 2006-01-25 18:08

#14

ivoryfishbone

oh come to think of it .. .when i rang the mother earlier i heard a mobile ringing in the background as i spoke to her ...

Wed, 2006-01-25 21:17

#15

maddan

ah yes, but maybe the daughter spoofed the SIM card or maybe the mother plugged her phone into a computer and they had a VPN network and the daughter logged in and... I'll shut up now.

Thu, 2006-01-26 13:06

#16

1legspider

See above. I told you there could be a more plausible explanation!

Topic locked