i am not a poet dixton but i read your piece and though there is some delightful imagery
Sheathe, come the blossom
A gay,sharp and flowering lily
i find each line disconnected, more like a list - this made it difficult to follow.
read lots of work on here there are some excellent poets and critiquing ohters work will help you to get even better.
Juliet
This reads like a piece of foreign poetry translated. There are some pleasing juxtapositions of words (the lines Juliet mentioned, plus 'cowardly spinning', 'fairy fantasies',) but also some lines I can't make sense of ("Picking was as finding as guitar lilt", "Great ovation accolades great soul") , or sound overblown ("Frightful illusions of terror", "Buried in piercing fantasies")
I'd definitley avoid words like 'soul', 'wills' and 'mind' if you can, as this usually signifies navel-gazing in poems, which turns a lot of people off. I also think you need to work harder at this to make the meaning clear, as I can't break into it at all.
Juliet