Sorry I make you lush

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Mon, 2006-06-05 15:54

lib

Sorry I make you lush

Love this, Joe. Especially...

The heel of my foot is pistachio-green;
the ache in my gut is bird song;
a cored pink lady;

There I am, wang-eyed in the soup spoon,
pencil-sharp up the crane-arm faucet,

Wow.

I'm not sure that the title's as good as the poem, but when the poem's that good, I don't know that I actually care...

Mon, 2006-06-05 16:12

poetjude

What's wang-eyed ? Whatever it is it sounds good! The cyst simile may well put me off rasperries for life. I suppose it could have been worse - blackberry verruccas. anything to do with diseased flesh or skin, especially in the foot area makes me feel ill. Great poem though and here is a link http://www.abctales.com/story/spack/sorry-i-make-you-lush

Mon, 2006-06-05 16:23

lib

Thanks for the link, Jude, I knew I'd forgotten something...

Mon, 2006-06-05 17:18

rokkitnite

Wang-eye is when you're all bloodshot from too much spliff, je pense. Did enjoy many of the weirdly collocated images in this poem - reckon it's worth a bit of a reshuffle for coherence. And I agree avec Lib - title could work harder.

Mon, 2006-06-05 18:53

Brooklands

Thanks for the flag. The title's from a great song by Luke Vibert. The song's great; the title's not. This might be worth a reshuffle at some point; I reckon there are a few lines worth keeping. Cheers, Joe

Mon, 2006-06-05 18:58

pizzas.ready

This is brilliant, as ever. So stuffed full of originality and quirky imagery. One thing - do I not know what loofers are, or do you mean loofahs? The title to me looks as though you meant to type 'sorry I made you blush', but then I dont know the song. Top stuff.

Tue, 2006-06-06 08:47

Brooklands

Oops, you're right, thanks Pizza. It's supposed to be Loofahs. I've always thought that loofah is a really weird looking word. Cheers, Joe

Tue, 2006-06-06 15:01

Juliet OC

i agree this is full of original imagery and i particularly liked the ''fuck-off mirror'' - that's how i feel when i look in a mirror, but what does it all mean? Is it about a hangover? why loofahs and holograms. its lack of coherence keeps me at a distance, am i missing the meaning? Juliet

Juliet

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