Down The Bunker

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Sun, 2001-09-23 21:45

Down The Bunker

i came to this site when i was mid crisis (some might say as usual in MY life) ... but i have found it and the people on it variously hilarious ... friendly ... aggravating ... but always sustaining ... mainly through the humour ...

the forums now are (understandably) serious and weighty ... but i feel i NEED those witty silly ridiculous conversations back again ... bloody life and the world are grim enough ...

this is not a knock against the serious threads ... which i am following with interest ... but a plea for the return of some much needed silliness ...

i was imagining being down the bunker earlier today after talking to my mother who is looking after my uncle (my auntie just died) ... and she was reminding me of when they first met during war time and my auntie's abiding memory from that first meeting is of my mother having an orange and eating the whole thing herself without sharing ...

and i was thinking ... what WOULD i take down the bunker ... what couldn't i do without ... and would i share it?

Talers ... don't let me down ... be your silliest ... PLEASE ...

Wed, 2001-09-26 17:25

Mark Yelland-Brown

If the sheeps coming Stormy then my goats allowed. I'm going to bring my guitar down and sing songs of a country flavour, how about `Good night Irene` then every one else could wail. Hi AJ got an extra glass?

Wed, 2001-09-26 17:46

Liana

Thought it was MY Baileys!!! *affronted*

Wed, 2001-09-26 18:35

Wolfgirl

Corrections: Stormy wishes to stay in for a fag...I mean ciggy. Jennifer and Liana, with murder in their hearts, are tugging on a bottle of Baileys and Fish has a manic look in her eye...and a gun. Oh and not to forget Mark YB, one arm round a poo-tailed goat, the other playing dubious country music......Stormy has finished his fag and is now talking about the pros and delicious cons of his various flavours/shapes of packeted condoms that he has splayed out in his hand like a pack of cards. Has anyone brought a banana? He can demonstrate it Claire Rayner style. God I wish I drank...it would all make so much more sense.......

Wed, 2001-09-26 19:10

Andrea

Oooh, Mark...Leadbelly! (blues, though, blues, not country!) The whole thing sounds like an (extremely extended) episode of Python...luvverly...

Wed, 2001-09-26 20:35

Llama

well, if you're letting SHEEP down there as well as goats, its time someone called for the Llama.

Thu, 2001-09-27 12:15

fish

*calls for the llama*

Thu, 2001-09-27 17:58

donignacio

Hmm... this sounds very interesting, but you could avoid the threat of falling victim a nuclear attack and move to Kansas. There isn't much here to bomb, and besides that, it looks like it has been bombed all ready! Anybody looking to nuke Kansas will fly over it and say "Look! Hrabfrancxiangjoe must've gotten that place all ready, let's go home." (Except it probably won't be in English.) So everyone here is pretty safe! And Kansas is 82,000 square miles; ample room to store the tub of whipped cream, the flavored condoms, and all those animals, plus whatever else you can think of (within reason, of course.)

Thu, 2001-09-27 19:08

Andrea

Yeah, but what about the fall-out? (doom 'n' gloom's my middle name) Even taking my chances with Fish et al in the bunker seems a more enticing prospect... Er...sorry, you lot.

Thu, 2001-09-27 20:13

#10

Llama

Can't see myself as a stored animal.

Thu, 2001-09-27 21:52

#11

donignacio

Kansas is a Native American word meaning fallout.

Thu, 2001-09-27 22:09

#12

Wolfgirl

Do you realise something; a gaggle of writers in a bunker and not a pen among us........

Thu, 2001-09-27 22:31

#13

Liana

Ah, but I've brought my laptop *smug bugger*

Thu, 2001-09-27 22:43

#14

Hi MYB, Forget the glass, me and you will share the bottle. I feel an interesting chat comin' on!! Perhaps, that should read you and I? Grammar forgotten, it's 'cos I'm excited. By the way, where is Hilda and that dog? See ya all soon. AJ :>) PS I don't need any protection, I'm FAR TOO OLD..............

Thu, 2001-09-27 23:55

#15

mississippi

You can contract AIDS at any age Jackie, and you don't know who that lot have been shagging! Be warned!

Fri, 2001-09-28 01:14

#16

dorothy

ai gotta pen. laptops don wurk in nuwkliar war. but ai maight be lait coz me an toto the orphan is lookin for the guy who shot his paw. y'all look out now fer the wihked wehitch of the wehest. sheas ahfta the wihked wehitch of the east hoos bin leddin her peepul owda control laitlee. luv ya .

Fri, 2001-09-28 02:51

#17

donignacio

Interesting Kansas joke. In fact it's so good, I'll have to write it down. But I can't seem to find a pen! Drats!

Fri, 2001-09-28 09:05

#18

Usama Bin Laden

Can I hide down here for a bit?

Fri, 2001-09-28 09:08

#19

Liana

*laughing like a drain*

Sun, 2001-09-23 21:58

#20

W H Audenary

A pink flannel and a Wet Nurse.

Sun, 2001-09-23 22:02

#21

fish

not a wet flannel and a pink nurse? ... and would you share WH old chap?

Sun, 2001-09-23 22:19

#22

WHA

Mmm... you're right Ivory - either way would do the trick. I would share the flannel with the nurse.

Sun, 2001-09-23 22:28

#23

Wolfgirl

Jude Law and a large tub of whipped cream.

Sun, 2001-09-23 22:33

#24

fish

sharing?

Sun, 2001-09-23 22:45

#25

stormy

soft toilet paper - re-usable for sharing. ciggies - not for sharing (unless after sex). several bottles of strong booze - not for sharing unless used before sex. a gross of condoms - just in case it's not the end of the world after all (can't have dozens of little post nuclear stormies). a bucket of wishful thinking.

Sun, 2001-09-23 22:50

#26

robert

i'd take the entertaining and thought-provoking stormy petrel, but only if it was a *very* big bunker and he was flexible with his ciggie sharing rule...

Sun, 2001-09-23 22:51

#27

Liana

Wolfie....you just GOT to share that sweety... sod off fish, no room for four of us :o)

Sun, 2001-09-23 22:59

#28

stormy

now you've got ME thinking rob. I'll trade you a ciggie for some of wolfie's whipped cream. (it's up to you how you wangle it from her)

Sun, 2001-09-23 23:07

#29

fish

i would have to take my Most Improved Housewife Trophy ...

Fri, 2001-09-28 18:32

#30

meremortal

This place is getting very crowded i think i might build a bunker within the bunker so i can get some peace occasionally. Of course there are other attractions to a bunker within a bunker. Somewhere to escape in private, it'll have a lock saying occupied, or in use, or if this bunkers a rockin don't come a knockin'! Then again if the bunkers rocking i think we would all be inside drinking the copious amounts of alcohol present. Ah... pleasant thoughts......

Fri, 2001-09-28 18:46

#31

max_dog

I'd take a jar of sianide (is that how you spell it?) So i can poison you all and take your stuff. Waa-ha-ha (I might spare the ladies though if they showed any interest) Don't wan't to be jerking off for eternity now do I?

Fri, 2001-09-28 20:52

#32

Andrea

Lock saying 'occupied'? 'In use'? Your bunker within a bunker sounds more like a bog than a bunker, Mortal. Some of that nice, soft paper that Roy was on about might come in useful though. And no, that isn't how you spell it, Max...

Mon, 2001-09-24 07:54

#33

andrew pack

I have actually had the privilege of being in one of those nuclear bunkers, where the great and the good will be rushed to in the event of crisis. I am very, very, glad that my name is not on the list for entry. What sort of people would you repopulate the world with ? Doctors, engineers, farmers, carpenters, builders - people who would have some way of restoring civilisation. Instead, the bunkers all go to politicians and civil servants so senior that they use the word 'sensitise' as an acceptable substitute for 'tell' or 'inform'. Oh, also no pre-menopausal women, which always struck me as being pretty dumb. I want to stand on the surface and take what's coming, if that's what the world ever comes to. So I'll get some fags and whiskey and throw them in for Stormy and Robert. (Why anyone would want Jude Law when those two are in there is beyond me - he'll be robbing you of oxygen girls... )

Fri, 2001-09-28 21:56

#34

Missi, You buggar, you always make me smile. Will you join me in the bunker?? Share the bottle, that conversation with MYB gets more interesting by the minute!!!!! AJ

Mon, 2001-09-24 10:10

#35

fish

no pre-menopausal women???? *amazed* i would definitely have to take my bed down the bunker ... my duvet and lovely pillows ... as for sharing ... hmmmm ...

Fri, 2001-09-28 22:12

#36

Liana

Think Max might be needing some wads of Roys toilet paper too Andrea...

Mon, 2001-09-24 10:42

#37

Andrea

Can I take my garden? We could grow all sorts of luvverly and uplifting plants... Oh, I'd share it, natch...

Fri, 2001-09-28 22:50

#38

Ann Drex

For his mouth?

Fri, 2001-09-28 23:02

#39

llama

It's community singing time. There is a guitar, some acoustic objects and several vocalists. One, two, three, four:

Fri, 2001-09-28 23:19

#40

Robert Williams

I don't wanna rock, AJ But you're making me feel so nice When's it gonna stop, AJ 'Cause you're keepin' me up all night

Mon, 2001-09-24 18:47

#41

meremortal

I'd take condoms just like stormy said as for other things well i guess a never ending pen and paper and a never ending pint of Caffreys. There i think i could be happy with that i'm sure any ladies joining me would be happy too (hey i'm hoping it'll never happen and i'll never be proven wrong).

Mon, 2001-09-24 19:09

#42

Wolfgirl

Ummm...I don't think I could share Jude but if you bring some strawberries, I might give you a dollop of my cream. Oh and Stormy, there'd be no smoking in my bunker, mate. You'd have to go outside. Condoms, Meremortal? No prizes for guessing your intended activities then....are there any curtains in this bunker? What a delightful group. Pint glass of Jack Daniels anyone? Take your hand off my knee, Meremortal. Stormy, put that fag out. I can see it now.......

Mon, 2001-09-24 19:18

#43

Liana

Ok In exchange Wolfie, I'll bring Johnny Depp and a pot of choccy body paint (Three brushes) Music....l'll bring a cd player, and my stack of over three thousand cd's with huge headphones so that not everyone has to listen if they dont want. My laptop, my mums home made Baileys (neverending supply, though this may be a tad nausea inducing after several bottles) Books Loads of books (it IS a huge bunker, yes?)

Mon, 2001-09-24 20:50

#44

Andrea

Have to be the size of the bleedin' Vatican - larger even - to accommodate all us lot...ahem...peacefully.

Mon, 2001-09-24 20:54

#45

Ralph Dartford

Fish I would take my trousers down, in the bunker. Ralph

Mon, 2001-09-24 21:06

#46

Mark Yelland-Brown

I would bring my friend George who sings sea shanties in Lithuanian, then we could kill him and eat him. It's not that I have anything against Lithuanian but George is very tasty!

Mon, 2001-09-24 21:08

#47

Mark Yelland-Brown

Oh, I would keep my trousers on and swear I have nice legs!

Mon, 2001-09-24 21:24

#48

mississippi

Are you sure this a bunker? Sounds more like a bonker to me!

Sat, 2001-09-29 07:12

#49

donignacio

If I bring Ringo, can I join in your bunker?

Sat, 2001-09-29 08:38

#50

Wolfgirl

Blimey. The noise, the chaos, the sexual games; I reckon it might be safer outside this bunker. All that dodgy music, people wiping their bottoms, llamas, goat, sheep...the smell will be off the scale. Not to mention the murderous max dog..... Thank God Karl isn't here...that's all I can say. As for that Fish, she's been very quiet....I reckon she's sneaked off to her own, blissfully quiet bunker with classical music, fine food and my luscious Jude Law. Do you remember reading about those scenes in Victorian Bedlam? Ummmm......

Mon, 2001-09-24 21:30

#51

Andrea

Bonker, bunker, plonker, conker, what the hell! Sounds good to me...

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