The Bible

I’ve taken a ghost copy of Mark’s “Token Christian” thread to bed with me for the last few nights and scrolled through it in my dreams.

(I can already hear my mate, Mississippi, going, “Oh oh!”).

From what I understand, the Bible is known as the inspired word of God and lays a foundation for the Christian life. Correct?

Well check out Deuteronomy, the book of the Commandments (I don’t know why we say there’s only 10 – there’s hundreds). Deuteronomy 17: 3-5: says that if a Christian comes across a guy who, “Hath gone and served other Gods, and worshipped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of Heaven, which I have not commanded. And it be told thee, and thou hast heard of it, and inquired diligently, and, behold, it be true, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought in Israel. Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die.”

Blimey! That’s a bit strong, isn’t it?

So if you’re chatting to a bloke at work who happens to mention he’s a Buddhist or a Muslim or a Witch, you’ve got to drag him home with you and stone him to death. Don’t try and convert him. Just stone him to death.

Forgiveness doesn’t really come into it, does it?

Deuteronomy 7: 1-2: “When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations – the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, sevennations larger and stronger than you. And when the Lord your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy.”

Blimey! Not very Christian is it?

Deuteronomy 7: 16: “You must destroy all the peoples the Lord your God gives over to you. Do not look on them with pity.”

No wonder we live in such a violent society if our children are being taught stuff like this when they go to Sunday school.

I won’t quote all of Exodus 21 to you. Read it yourselves. But for the most part it’s all about slavery and how you should treat your slaves. There are parts in there about boring the slaves ear through with an aul (21: 6), which seems a bit rough to me.

And there’s also several references in Exodus 21 on how to deal with murderers. You simply put them to death. No life imprisonment. No 20 years. No seven years. No forgiveness. Just slot ‘em.

I could go on, but it’s getting late. I should make it clear here that I’m not anti-Christian. In fact I may well be a Christian myself in that I certainly believe in some sort of creator, and God seems as good a name as any for Her. I just feel that a large percentage of the Bible needs to be re-thought and appraised.

I will finish, though, by stating that whatever I believe is irrelevant anyway, because according to the Bible I’m not even allowed in a Christian church.

Deuteronomy 23: 2 “A bastard (yes it does use that word) shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord. Even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord.”

And as I’m third generation bastard (no puns please), that kind of excludes me, doesn’t it?