The Vibe Theory

Vicky the Vamp Like it..

I've got to go in a mo but will be back later - but I reckon we can be vamps - virtually - what say you girls? Yoooo Vamp Power

If it is men with huge emotional hang-ups and no self- confidence who are attracted to you I think that you must be appear to them to be someone who will be kind and caring and "sort them out",nurture not humiliate them. I don't know about vibes but everyone has a certain persona that they display when they meet a potential partner for the first time- sometimes it's not their true selves and they might appear to be really happy and carefree and only later you find out about their hang-ups. If you were more brash or caustic I don't think the more delicate man wold be attratced to you. But then maybe that's what you want. It's hard not to be yourself if you are a genuine person but then a lot of people would argue that it's all a game and you should play to win and therefore if you appeared to be more confident and carefree the men you are currently attracting might think that they wouldn't get the comfort from you that they can see at the moment. vibes I'm not sure about- personality traits and which you display on meeting new people- definitely.

This is actually a good point. When I was single I seemed to attract girls who had problems, be it that they had just been dumped by their boyfriend, or that they were hung up about someone or something.Sometimes though I did attract girls because they were attracted to me. Could it be that certain people emit vibes that allow others to see them as a mate who will help them sort out whatever it is that is worrying them?

We take it in turns to pay. It seems to work. iceman

It must be really annoying to always be the "friend" rather than the object of desire but maybe that is because you appeared too friendly, icey. Girls may want some boys as "just a friend" but let's face it, most single men spending time with single women will have at least thought about the old horizontal naked dancing wheras I really don't think that girls always do, especially if they have found a sounding board for their troubles. The problem i suppose is that people don't always make their intent clear when they get to know someone ( although they probably will have thought about what that intent is upon meeting and finding out the other's availability)and sometimes you become friends but if one person fancies the other but it is unrequited, it can seem really rude to "ditch" the friendship because you are not getting what you want from it. I think the problem is that people are not very honest about their feelings sometimes and can harbour feelings for "a friend" for ages and not say anything because of shyness or not wanting to ruin the friendship. This can be torturous and even worse when the "friend" finds themselves a partner . But what was the friendship based upon in the first place? Hmm, I think I'm going to start a new thread....

not sure about the vibe thing, Ari. i suspect it's more to do with the way you project yourself, in particular, your confidence in dealing with different types of people. i suspect that you project an easy confidence when dealing with emotionally damaged people because you know how to deal with them. your natural gifts as an empath mean that you know what to do and say. for the injured guy you are easy to get to know, open, friendly, understanding. injured people tend to want to talk about themselves a lot, and perhaps you are more at ease when the conversation is strongly other person based. perhaps you are not so accessible when dealing with uninjured guys. where there is no immediate wound for you to heal, you feel at a loss, uncertain of the correct approach to take, and thus project less confidently, being less certain how to register your feelings in an acceptable way.

chant you are so wise! *in awe*

*iceman realises that the entire topic has been changed, even before he posted :)*

Pioden - my record so far is 19. *whack!*

At least you're attracting people, even if they're not the ones you want. More than can be said for some of us. :-P

thanks, Janey! *hides head under wing.*

Iceman becomes a vamps - checks - double checks - falls off chair laughing and checks again

i think you do give out vibes - whenever I've been emotionally all over the place I've attracted similar sorts of people, who were the last thing I needed at the time, but I seemed to give out these "come and join my messed up life" vibes. In periods of my life when I've been more"together", I've attracted more "together", sorted kind of people.

I don't know about vibed but I think there's a lot of truth in the opposites attract, positives attract negatives. Strong people appeal to weak people and weak people appeal to strong people (not always true, I grant you, but often enough) some people want to be in charge and others don't. Whether the attraction lasts is debatable. I imagine overtime the relationship dynamic may shift and drive the couple apart, ie as the weaker person becomes more confident, gaining said confidence and strength from the relationship. This is all very complicated. In the case of the original post, men in general are simple creatures when it comes to the opposite sex and quite often assume any woman who shows any interest in them fancies them. So if Ari is only talking to men about their problems then chances are you'll end up with a lot of wierdos following you around thinking you fancy them.

very true FPD!

Hang on a minute. Did I just side with the women????

So FPD do most men really think you fancy them if you just talk to them?And would they tell you their problems if they didn't fancy you back? note to self: be very careful who you talk to!

I suppose that is a bit of a generalisation. But I'd say many single men, if they get into a deep and personal conversation with a woman on an intimate level, ie discussing personal problems, may feel an attraction to said woman and see the fact that she is taking time out to talk to them and help them out as a sign that she may be interested. Or am I talking total b@llocks? Basically, a lot of men are crap at reading signals, they either don't notice when a girl is interested and misinterpret when a girl isn't! Either that or girls are crap at giving out signals. i prefer that theory. Also girls can be very fickle.

I'm not keeping score - whack - should I be - whack whack - have you passed it on to the others - only I wasn't sure how they take it - whack whack Hey have you noticed how they speed up and you get more of the - yep - appearing - Oh noticed you can slow them down and reduce the numbers Whack whack - it's good for stress isn't it ?

The way you project yourself ARE the vibes, Chant! Am heavily into vibes (man), being a child of the 60s...

I seem to attract only men with serious emotional problems. I decided one night that this was due to the fact that I find men who are my type (eg creative) and who are emotionaly balanced are too intimidating. I have low bordom threshhold and if a guy is nuts and dumps me ( or i bugger off) I can take it a lot better than one who is great. Doesn't realy bother me though..... People are fascinating to me, so the more nuts they are, the more intersting I find them. probably won't have that fairytale but hey, could be worse....

I am throbbing with the wit and sanity of man! My mighty thews thrust at the chance to spring into a new confundibulum. Meanwhile - Jersey was nice! I only attract women who are elsewhere engaged.

Vicky, lets get together one day and see how many emotionally damaged men we can pull. We could start a mental institute or something.

you have me ari ;-)

and me my confunibibulumeemayte with great treacly thews ;-)

oh. and me. i guess. not sure. ok, yes, me too. i think. ;-)

does it have to be men ownly? you have me too! ;-)

Sounds good Ari, but maybe you should set a more difficult challange..... such as, say, seeing how many georgous, intelligent, articulate and emotionally stable men we can attract? Actually as long as there's alcohol involved i'm in!

thats me done for then. ;-(

lemmingadeeeeeee!!!!!!! yes!

i wysh - you lot would behive. i expect an appilogy that instant

Vamps? Ha ha ha... Suckers for a powerful man with strong arms and a hard palm I'd say! Getting women to feel sorry for you is a tried and tested chat up technique that I have seen (incredulously) at work for many a year... just about getting the hang of it now... well sometimes. Oh bug.ger.. times up.

I am too late ari? i may not be gud at poerty but i can talk bolognese ;-))

you can all @!#$ off. taking the piss out of mental illness. wank'ers

RIGHT! THAT'S IT! You left me out! I'm leaving and will never return, not even as a shepherds delight or under my own name either. so there. :-P

OH YES AND ME TOO> I WANT TO HAVE YOU HERE ARI SO YOU CAN WATCH DAT MAN WITH HIS DOG>GOING PAST MY WINDOW CAN YOU HELP ME ARI?

I have some special vibes for the ladies. I am not at all emotionally challenged. In fact I am razor sharp. Anyone wanna play with me or do I have to do it by myself?

you can hit me 33,000 times in a day ari, i will not complain.

I quite like the idea of being a Vamp as well as a Harpy. Hunting men down and raping them gets a bit tiresome after a while. I don't know if you qualify though, Iceman... Vicky, are you going to Liana's little soiree (sp?) tomorrow?

Gosh, I suddenly have more men then I know what do to with! *panics* What do I do with them all???

Oh, and a few women too, I see. *relaxes*

You could send them to us Ari. We will be awfully nice and read them our dissertation stories in very small words.

Very entertaining Mr Proxy :o) Are you related to the infamous proxy sleuth?

... and then I will explain in a manner that is slightly teasing, and perhaps a slight put down on womankind, before turning all cuddly and boyish when the heat is on in the hope that you will all mummy me. no smiley things because I do not entertain such trite nonsense :-))))

Relax ari, it's just one person with multiple personalities.... See we don't even have to team up to attract 'em

Go for broke then "not really" lets have Fish, Liana, Missi, JT and Stormy. You're doing very well so far.

Oops, sounds like I'm talking to myself there - I forgot to change back.

No lycanthropite jokes please ;o)

Can't even pronounce it...