EastEnders is Crap!

I'll have you know Pauline Fowler is alright in the flesh. I will woo Lynne back one day and that Pele boy won't know what has hit him! Oh by the way does anyone have any cough sweets, I seem to have a rather dry throat?!

Missi, you talkin 'bout the mindless morons that make up our population? The ones that I wish I could vanquish from the earth forever?

Don't waste your time asking Phil Mitchell for any - how about Dot, she's the motherly sort!

Just a bit of harmless fun, not to be confused with reality or the East End.

EASTENDERS IS CRAP - patronising crap. But my daughter likes it probably because it's aimed a female market nowadays what with all the laddettes taking over. But I must say at least the girls in it can act while, the story lines are devised by middle class mockney boy tossers - I too am half cockney on my late dads side not that I'm saying that makes me an expert but the East-End I know and remember was rough, moody and not at all hospitable to aliens, black, brown or white, so this happy little community; and most happiest when shafting each other and yet tolerant of all colours , genders and creeds is a lot of old cods .

EASTENDERS IS CRAP - patronising crap. But my daughter likes it probably because it's aimed a female market nowadays what with all the laddettes taking over. But I must say at least the girls in it can act while, the story lines are devised by middle class mockney boy tossers - I too am half cockney on my late dads side not that I'm saying that makes me an expert but the East-End I know and remember was rough, moody and not at all hospitable to aliens, black, brown or white, so this happy little community; and most happiest when shafting each other and yet tolerant of all colours , genders and creeds is a lot of old cods .

methinks everyone has forgotten the fact that Eastenders is meant to be entertainment.

You'd like to vanquish me from the earth forever, Spag? Well, well, and there I was thinking that I was an OK sorta human...

well not ALL humans that watch it are mindless......... Where's that effing ladder?

Don't think so ginger, it's meant to be chewing gum for the mindless that appeals to the lowest common denominator and makes the programmes producers VERY rich!

Nice one, Mississippi! Eastenders is harmless telly - I'm far more worried about intellectual snobbery and people taking themselves, and everything else of relatively little import, far too seriously! If you folks hate 'Enders so much - why give it a second thought? Perhaps you all forget - it's aimed to have mass appeal - not everyone in the country has your academic prowess. Not everyone in this country feels obliged to avoid things [or pretend to!] just because they have mass appeal. Watching every day tv, including Eastenders, doesn't automatically denote you as an imbecile - it just makes you ordinary, and perfectly at ease with being so.

I couldn't really give a toss either way purp but I do feel concerned for young kids, plonked in front of the tv, growing up thinking that shouting, screaming, abortions, drugs, boozing, fighting and saying "whats going on?" every 5 minutes is everyday behaviour. hmm, yet again I seem to argue against myself.

If I were you purple I'd be very careful what I worried about! I got in a whole lotta trouble fer saying things like that awhile back!

Ah well, every forum needs someone like me to bring in the common as muck element! Can't help being a ditch pig!

*applauds Purp's post(s) wholeheartedly and with much merriment* (Do hope he/she didn't mean 'Dutch pig', tho')

ok it's time to admit it ... i sometimes love watching eastenders ... last night there was a fabulously camp scene where the cast revolted agaionst the pompous poncey theatre director character ... it made me really laugh ... and yes it serves the worst cliches .... but part of the fun of it is in sharing opinions on the odious characters ... in our house we all do impressions of sharon's lips ... of trevor ... of steve's two expressions ... and we were on the edge of our seats when beppe was charging round the reg office like a rhino on heat ... we dont think it is real ... we find it entertaining ... and sometimes it leads to interesting debates on issues we perhaps wouldn't talk about otherwise ... best of all it makes us hoot with laughter ...

mark you might think that eastenders is crap but that is just your opinion and other people might disagree with you i think you should have put something like "i dont think eastenders is the best show" or "i think eastenders is rubbish" something like that and this is MY opinion from littlefishbone

Apologise for crap grammar!

Mark That is very interesting. Eastenders comes and goes. Is it really a soap? Sometimes the writing is supurb and sometimes dreadful. It brings up issues that are daring and pedestian by turns. It can be compulsive and wonderful . It is not camp like Coronation Street. I dont think it is misery Mark, pathos maybe. The current storylines are strong and hearbreaking. Tuesdays episode was straight out of the Mike Leigh songbook. Also I get very worried when people go on about how working class they are. Oh the politics and pipes of the staffroom Ralph

I'm from a working-class background (sorry, Ralph, but it's a fact) and I don't like Eastenders. Not everyone does. Got nothing against it, though - which is more than I can say for selective schools.

Ralph, about the working class` bit, I suppose I Wanted to show some kind of `credentials` in case I was accused of not liking it because of being `middle-class`. Says more about my paranoia than anything else. Back to East Enders, I have tried to watch more of it so that I could try and understand it rather than just judge it from a distance. When I have it seems always intense, confrontational, extreme facial expressions, eyes full of hate, cynicism, distrust, . Those awful, whiny accents, (that is a very personal criticism as half my family talk in a `whiny` cockney accent and half from the same side managed to tone it down, so don't kill me over that criticism!) Also, a lot of the characters are so unnatractive, and I don't just mean physically, I don't care about them, obviously if I watched it more.... Reflecting on soaps in general I don't care for them as I prefer TV that informs, entertains etc Soaps for me are just serving up real life in extremity and I've got enough of that going on anyway. The other arguement is that it's quite encouraging watching other people going through worse than you're going through, makes your life seem not so bad, I find that excuse perverse.

Tom. I agree about selective schools, maybe you could start a thread on that one?

Only if I can speak (as I do and have done all my life) in a not particularly whiny cockney accent. *I'm smiling - this is a joke* I agree about Eastenders. Just wish there was more on the TV for the rest of us.

Oh God! mine's only whiny when I'm fitting into whiny cockney company, normally it's `soft` london. What do I mean by Whiny cockney company? In a pub, talking about football, using the `f` and `c` word a lot (not me!) I invariably start getting back to my `roots`as a `cockney`. The thing is it's not me anymore, it wouldn't be natural for me, so I 'm being the hypocrite in those gatherings.

well I'm not obsessed but I do quite like Eastenders. I would put it down to my middle-class roots but my Dad absolutely hates it. My boyfriend hates it too. not sure what that says..

The thing about regional accents is that they're nothing to be proud of and nothing to be ashamed of. There's a game where you bet a fiver on how long it will take for a character in Eastenders to say: "Wot's goin' on 'ere, then?"

I agree with you Tom, but there is a false `cockney` which is used, usually by young males, where it sounds totally exagerated. I have a cousin who originally had a non-descript London accent, now it's full blown, `ows ya farver!`

Gail, Please tell us what you like about it, perhaps I can be won over, although I doubt it. I said to my wife that tonight I will watch a whole episode to justify my excess of spleen!

Well said, Littlefishcake!

well, that's love for you! What do I like about it? I guess I just like the way you can lose yourself in the trivia of a soap, I like all the crises going on and how all the characters react. I find it amusing if anything, the characters and their quirky ways, and the whole exagerrated drama of it all. I like the way you can miss a couple of episodes, or a couple of weeks, and still catch up, and even if you don't, who cares. I think there are elements that are thought-provoking and there are grisly issues dealt with that people can relate to on a certain level. I think to enjoy it you probably have to want to blank out your mind for a while, don't take it too seriously and don't expect it to be true to life, it's got to have that whole exaggerated and un-true to life -ness about it, that's what it's all about. Anyway, if it still gets on your nerves, I wouldn't bother trying to get into it, life's too short!! (and I guess I'd probably go off it too if everyone I knew was always raving on about it!)

Hi Andrea, Ditch pig it is - a phrase borrowed from a Canadian biker I once knew [and believe me, you only wanted to know him once!]. If he thought someone was cheap, nasty and common, a ditch pig they were! Wasn't talking about law enforcement officers from Holland at all. I'm such a ditch pig, I even watched 'Emmerdale' the other night - the agrarian aspect made me feel right at home.

I was living in New York City in the 70s when EastEnders first hit the airways in NYC. It was very popular at least among New Yorkers in the first season or two. In fact, Monty Python, EastEnders, Masterpiece Theatre (a kind of best of BBC), the Sherlock Holmes series, Lord Peter Whimsey etc were all very popular, at least amongst those I knew. However, I thought EastEnders was good for maybe 3-5 seasons and that would be it. I was stunned to find it is still going strong almost 30 years later. I tried to watch it again a year or so ago, but I just found it boring. Of course, America soap operas are boring and obsessive at the same time as well. My attention span is too short for that kind of thing.

eastenders has not been going for 30 yrs ... it just FEELS like it has ...

"Wot's goin' on 'ere, then?"

I don't believe it! Mark and I actually agree on something! I used to be under-class, but what with all the class mobility going on these days I've been elevated to lower-working class, and one of the things I've come to realise is that to survive at the shitty end of the stick you have to have a decent sense of humour. That is something that is alien to Rearenders or what ever you want to call it. There is no way it can be a realistic representation of real life in any part of the civilised world; the only places I'm aware of that have 24/7 misery are third world countries. I know it's popular but that doesn't make it good! Personally I'd sooner watch a dog turd drying out on the pavement. Sorry I can't have a row with you Mark, you're being too reasonable!

"Personally I'd sooner watch a dog turd drying out on the pavement." you can get Channel 5 where you are then, mississippi?

East Enders is crap.........moaning about it is crapper !

Can I what? Don't you know Essex is the Channel 5 capital of the canine world? More dog turds to the acre than anywhere this side of Crufts!

I can't believe Lynne married that twat Gary! *storms off to comb goattee*

2 things about channel 5: 1) it often features football that those of us without sky would not otherwise see. Jonathon Piercing Voice is awful. Turn sound down. Watch picture. Tune into 5live on the radio for commentary. 2) The Mole is the best 'reality tv' programme ever made. I offer the following in evidence: It requires intelligence to win the game. Joe public is not allowed any say in who is 'voted out'. This elimates the 'cor... I fancy her/him brigade' who spend £50 on phone calls to keep them in the game. The contestants cannot vote to eliminate other contestants (ie get rid of the good players so that mediocre wins yet again). As a viewer you spend the whole series trying to work out who the mole is yourself. This generates intelligent thought provoking conversation with your kids (or guesswork as it is sometimes known) rather than staring at the screen in a vegetative state whilst dialling 0906... to vote for shane. Apart from that I never watch channel 5. You must have seen an awful lot of it Robert to arrive at such an astute simile. and yes... all soaps are crap. There is supposed to be a watershed at 9pm to prevent kids being exposed to violence, swearing and sex. Yet, from what I gather from those in my family that watch these programmes they are full of families screaming at one another or even committing violence on their so called loved ones. They spend their time in front of the tv or down the pub or eating fishnchips. sex is always on the menu. even emmerdale had a plane crash for christs sake. people die far more often than in real life and there is always a crisis loosely based on whatever the tabloids think we should be worrying about this week. (remember fires caused by sofas? They still happen you know, and people still die from them, just that the sun got bored with reporting about them 3 or 4 years ago). If the language in the soaps was spiced up a bit and the violence made a little more explicit these shows would not go out before 9pm. They simply serve to perpetuate the myth that this is this how we are all supposed to live and most people, being gullible (it is on tv therefore it must be true), then act out their own lives in a similar way thus completing the circle and, of course, proving me wrong because tv will say it imitates real life. my head is about to explode... this is worse than trying to work out what the universe is. soap operas are crap in the same way that mount everest is and mary whitehouse isn't.

Tut tut Beppe, you've spoilt it for me, I missed Friday's episode and was going to watch it on Sunday! Never mind, there's always Kat! [Or Old Mo].

I don't see much difference between C5 and most of what is on the other channels. It has some decent movies once in a while, I don't watch sports -ever-anywhere-for any reason- and otherwise, some of the stuff on C5 is interesing in the same way excavating an ancient Minoan garbage dump would be interesting: it tell a lot about the socity that created it, dog turds and all.

Sorry about that purplecat, but maybe by Sunday I will have won Lynne back!

Did anyone else notice that Gary's middle name is Pele? I nearly fell about laughing at that one. Eastenders is great - on many levels. It's entertainment, it's miserable, it's strangely gripping, it has everything that a soap needs. I hate soaps in the main but there's something about Eastenders that keeps on making me go back. I don't watch it all the time but now an then it has some absolute belters of storylines. Th e whole Slater saga at the momet - oh, what will become of them all? Will Charlie lose it? What's going to happen to Zoe? Will Pele really make Lynn happy? Is all the fooling about going to make Beppe into a hard man? Indeed, I believe that the virtues of Eastenders are endless. Where else would you find a character like Crazy Trevor. He's utterly mad. Unbelievable! Those eyes: mad, crazy, staring eyes. I get scared every time I see him on screen

I was brought up in the countryside outside Macclesfield. Coronation Street was like every street I saw in Manchester or Macc and I, a middle class boy who went to a private school, was facinated by what went on at the pub and in the private houses of those streets. Of course, Corrie is far from reality, as is Eastenders, but 30 plus years down the line I still keep half an eye on it for old times' sake - and enjoy it because it does have humour. Now my wife is an Eastenders fan. I sit there and laugh at it (now relegated to other room when it's on) because it has no humour and it takes on 'issues' with such typical BBC pretentiousness. It drives me crazy - but it's on and I watch it sometimes. So it must work on some levels. Now the Archers is another matter all together. A soap on the radio leaves so much ot your imagination. Did you know, for example, that Shula and Brian are married in real life. Weird or what? There isn't a single character in it that I would like to spend more than a minute with and yet, on maybe thrity Sunday mornings a year, I listen in the omnibus and catch up. That's the soap I wouldn't be without. And don't forget that Dickens wrote almost all of his books as soaps. They were published in installments (sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly) and that's what creates the magnificnet troughs and peaks in the story telling - and possibly accounts for the over-the-top characterisations and the lack of real depth to most of his people. A soap opera is not a bad thing per se. It becomes 'bad' when people take what happens in the soaps more seriously than occurrences in their own lives - and then I fear for the power of television. It all becomes very Orwellian. Let's face it our own attempts at soaps on the threads have all swiftly degenerated (or upgraded) into the bizzarre. Maybe we should collectively try and write a 'serious' soap. On the other hand...

I've always thoguht of Oscar Wilde's plays as soap operas of a kind. I mean, Lady Windemere's Fan and The Importance of Being Earnest? They look like soaps to me, but extremely well written soaps. I bet if he were alive today he'd be writing soaps and we'd all be watching to see what happens next.

Didn't mean you, Andrea. Sorry that you thought I did.

Hey Beppe - have you wooed her back yet? C'mon, it's not like the Italian Stallion to lose out to a wazzack like Pele! Get a grip, DiMarco, or you'll end up with Pauline Fowler!