Bandwagon Feedback Request

Now this is bad.. Have decided to channel all my short stories into perhapsanovelperhaps since very few stories have real focus. I won't deny it.. I had done a certain amount immediately preceding writing this.. it goes back to a guest house room in Pokhara Nepal and I was under the influence of bad Japanese grammar, a re-reading of Ulysses and ill communication in general.. BUT would appreciate it if anyone can see anything in this piece.. because I think there actually might be a progression in using this type of one word sentence palaver. Anything would be gratefully received.

Here's the link-

http://www.abctales.com/abcplex/viewStory.cgi?s=31627