sound familiar

What! abctales didn't feature.

Received from: 0 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Message-Id: <200504151652.02796.louisa@*******.freeserve.co.uk> On Monday 21 March 2005 9:29 am, you wrote: > Thus insisting that someone wears a > coat on a warm day (on the off chance that it might rain) needs clear > honesty and explanation about probability and weather forecasts for > example, it’s a judgement call. If a parent simply insists that a coat is > warn on a warm day the child will come to distrust the parents claim to > knowing about consequences and consequentially raise the level of distrust > and thus more arguments when the issues are more clear cut (like wearing a > coat on a cold wet day). I totally agree on the coat thing - if I disagree with my kids that its warm enough to go without coat I bring it along myself. Then if/when they get cold I have the coat ready. I find it more difficult when I find myself in the middle between two entrenched children. We were walking by the canal. After 20 mins one child wants to go back, other wants to go on. The child that wants to go back starts walking back and the other does the opposite. Neither will accept any other solution than the one he or she wants, including the "how about we go as far as the cafe, get an ice cream and then go back" How do deal with those situations and not coerce somebody? Sorry this is late, been offline a while and just catching up. Thanks Sheena for setting me mail again :-) BWs ******

When I was young, had I been the child that wanted to go back, my parents would have just left me there to wait until the others returned. Unfortunately, the world is not the same place anymore, alas, or I would suggest you do this! I know this runs counter to the current parenting style, but I think _you_ are the parent and thus _you_ ought to make the final decision as to whether to continue or go back. Having some authority over your children is not 'coercion', and frankly I don't see how wheedling your children into some kind of compromise (which they of course are refusing) is to their benefit, or to yours. Put yer foot down! I have a real issue with some parenting practices going on nowdays (and this isn't particularly aimed at you, MaxE), especially in Britain. No doubt I'll receive howls of protest, but Brits especially seem utterly terrified of exerting any authority over their children, disciplining them in any way, or curtailing any of their kids' less savoury behaviour. I see children hitting their parents in the park, young kids, and the parents do nothing but sheepishly say, "Now, Petronella, stop that. That isn't nice, is it?". Drives me frickin nuts. No wonder teenagers these days are such shitheads.

We don't give them guns to take to school to shoot each other with.

No, Missi, you give them an attitude of entitlement and knives with which to stab their headteachers to death, or black boys at bus stops, don't you? Don't pull that superiority crap on me; your lovely country is in just as bad a state as mine, but in different ways.

Wasn't being superior, just defensive. If this country is so bad why live here?

I didn't say this country was 'bad', Missi. But it does have problems. I love the UK, because, despite my above-mentioned gripes, it's not a gun-obsessed culture like the US is. Sorry RD. And anyway, how does that saying go: The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.. Something like that.

I copied that from a forum I subscribe to. I thought it was so petty.

I like the fact that the petty arguments in one thread thread descended into a petty argument about whether all the petty arguments were in fact already confined to one thread. Isn't the internet occasionally marvellous?

That was my favourite too. I loved the fact you could take out any of the threads and post them into the others, change the names, and it would be the same. I also loved the fact there was a mobile phone phorum. There were the top sites that came up when I googled 'petty arguments'. Lovely.