Conscience by Mike Pyro

I agree, well written but I couldn't help but feel I'd read or seen the plot somewhere before, I just can't think where. nobody

Yes, good job again. I would suggest, "from another room, a gunshot sounds", rather than 'the' gunshot. Probably that's just me. Also, please, please, please start punctuating speech correctly. That said, this was a good, solid story - something's happened recently with your work, a real jump forwards in quality...you should be really pleased about that. Congratulations again. Enzo.. www.thedevilbetweenus.com

Yeah Mike's work certainly does seem to have got better. the last two pieces have excelled themselves, perhaps he's found his genre. A kind of Tales Of The Unexpected. nobody

this held my interest throughout with a good pace and sad but satisfying resolution. The personification of his inner turmoil as a grubby rather obnoxiuos old man works really well. crit- you need to round your characters out a bit more, though i got a sense of the man's desperation i did feel a little detached from him. it is not overlong so adding this would not slow it down too much. a great read, ty Juliet

Wow guys, thanks. I just edited a bit, according to the crit, it's not incredibly different now but a few new changes. Oh and thanks for the flag lisa. I guess I may start heading toward this genre like 'nodody' said (lol). Nobody, as to answer wheree you may have seen this before, I got the idea from a five episode show on my computer where a man talks to his conscience. Thanks again people. :)

Good stuff Mike. Like y'alot!! ;)