too much dopamine...

I agree with your last post wholeheartedly, Anastasia. Funky, a world without crocodiles would be less beautiful, not more. And Lola, just stop blaming society this and society that for once.. You have been 'wise' to see through this 'charade' for a long time, you would claim... Armed with better knowledge, should you not be better off than the average Joe, should you not? And yet, how comes YOU are suffering and he is not? Have you considered it is you that has got it completely wrong, and that perhaps he is closer (even unwittingly) to the truth... which is perhaps why he is not afflicted with your brain-pain. It is a possibility you should consider at least. I know this will shock you, but a real spirituality in my books is getting in tune with matrerial things (not 'rejecting' them outright)... Have you even begun to think why antiques, original design, art etc commands such huge prices over the everyday norm... For goodness sake, spirituality is wrought in matter.... where have you seen any different? Until you can see spirituality in the everyday works of man as well as nature, you will remain lost...

Hi funky-seagul, I think you may well be on to something here. Balance is everything and yet so hard to attain. And another term, 'moderation' springs to mind. If we can get these right, you never know, the world may one day stop fighting and just simply live. Wow what a pleasant thought that is. I feel the dopamine rising. Tai

Don't worry about it funky. I know where youre at, seriously. During the intial stages of a deep depression, I never left the house for three months. I wouldnt asnswer the phone or talk to anyone but my wife and daughter (and that was difficult). I'd stay awake for days on end, I was too afraid to sleep. I wouldnt communicate with my work and I wouldnt go and see them. I cut all ties with friends and used to just sit and stare. I was sure that I'd reached an end. I couldnt see anything but darkness and devastation ahead. I saw things, heard things, got all these crazy thoughts in my head. I was sure that it was all over. Miles and miles inside myself. A dark night of the soul I think it's called in spiritual circles and I think it sums it up quite well. I lost my whole identity. Wiped away. I read and read philosophy, sociology and religion in an attempt to capture just a few words that I could connect to, something to make me feel worthwhile again. I was getting through two boosk a week easily. That's all I did. Just got to ride with the current - you do reach the surface eventually - but things just never really feel the same. p.s. - Alot of men (aswell as women) go through a low following the birth of a child.

um, I'm materialisitic to the hilt, 1legspider, I was just relaying what I read in a pink floyd interview :)

now back to your bubble..

Yes one thing that has helped me in my life may sound insensitive but I realized that I do in fact have the strength to deal with whatever situation arises, and I wont let myself give up. Too often I have and have seen others get stuck in the cycle of looking for something else to supply the strength, giving up on our/their own positive qualities and possibilities for higher learning...but it is our responsibility to rise to the challenge with as little negative impact on ourselves and others as possible. The world is not perfect according to our vision but it is still beautiful. And strangely enough, life for the most part doesnt need a reason to be except for just simply living. No I dont think any of us are given more than they can handle. I think its a matter of perspective and picking out the positive to learn and draw strength from. There is always a bright side, no matter how silly or preposterous...and its worthwhile to find it. laugh, and move on.

I confess, I have terrible nightmares about crocodiles, they scare me shitless...

Anastasia, sometimes when your head is in a dark place, is hard to see the light. Sometimes depression isn't caused by focusing too much on the dark side, it is because of low hormone levels ; because for some reason or other, the neurons that create those hormones are either dead, mutated or stopped working; either through drug abuse, which can cause neurotoxicity; heavy metal deposits like aluminium or lead getting stuck in the neurotransmitters, can effectively block release of hormones from them, or possibly from repeated extreme stress(stress releases chemicals, which if in repeated contact with our neurons can cause damage to them.) Once these neurons are damaged , then it is hard for the body to produce enough of the hormones that these neurons specialize in. If someone takes fluoxetine, it is to increase the levels of serotonin in a person's body, in the hope that this is the hormone the person is lacking. Sometimes people have to go on a med-go-round until they actually find the right medication which increases the hormones they are in need of. Apparently recent evidence suggests that people can grow new braincells, create new neurotransmitters to replace the dead ones; but the catch is they need more of the hormone they are lacking to effectively do this and it takes a long time for it to happen, as neurons take a long time to grow and mature and explains why folk need to stay on their meds for so long. Anyway what I'm talking about here is clinical depression, it is a medical condition that can't just be cured by trying to think positive. Though applying positive thinking once the meds have kicked in, and learning how to change the way you think and break negative habits can help a great deal in the process of healing.

anyway what I think I'm trying to do is educate people into understanding that depression is a complex subject and for some people reading a self-help book or being told they need to change the way they think and do things , isn't going to help them. For some people it is a biological illness like diabetes is an illness, or an overactive thyroid gland is an illness.

actually I think I talk a lot of shit, and am better not talking, as I am such a pretentious ******... have completely lost touch with the human race. socializing is too complex for me, is easier to be anti-social.

sorry for being so manic or intense think is best I leave abc for a while, not really a writer anymore, all I seem to be doing here is destructive and morbid, I'm not always like that... need to spend more time away from computers, they seem to suck something out of me... it gives me the creeps bye for now.

Here is a great site that might help round your knowledge Funky whilest making you chuckle at the same time:

That is an interesting post Funky, and I suspect therein lies many a truth. Gosh, I only wish people would take the time to try and understand how this maginificent organ, the brain, the centre of each and every one of our universes, works. I just wished they would have 'brain' studies or 'what it means to be human' studies from a young age at schools. The knowledge in this field has expanded exponentially of late (there is still so much yet to uncover)... and yet people walk around zombie like, slaves to their emotions, without an inkling of realisation of how much control they can wrest from their environments, just by getting closer to understanding how 'feelings' work, how they are affected by what we ingest. "well to cut a long post short , I was wondering if perhaps our mordern world was born from the injestion of certain plants which increase the levels of dopamine going around our system. Coffee and tobacco, are the main products which have built our world ; and these two plants cause our bodies to be flooded with dopamine. Cocaine does too, and so does amphetamine, these are also very popular drugs. Depression is on the increase , and I was wondering if this is due to there being too much dopamine around. maybe if we want to right our world we need to somehow balance out the dopamine/serotonin levels in our brains. " Yes avoiding some substances may help Funky (and perhaps now you can see why I have argued so vehemently against powerful psychoactive drugs.. that target directly and disrupt what it means to be human... the functioning of beautiful brains). But the very good news, and realisation is that the brain CAN LEARN how to self regulate its own chemicals so as to generate pleasures states, reward states... it is how people have learnt to cope with vagaries that have beset their early upbringing, it is how people have learnt to cope with depression loss and bereavement. The key is learning through context... and drugs are all about removing context. It is because through learning, that we can effectively learn to build a better brain (more individual, freer, knowledgeable, compassionate, positive and productive etc) I suppose I see everyone on this journey somewhere towards self realisation... a process that has a good chance of making progress as our brain matures if we maintain an open mind and retain a genuine thirst for learning... but one that I believe can be sadly too easily disrupted and lead one into a cul de sac if tampered unduly by the use of drugs. If one chooses to see deep prolonged depression as symptomatic of the brain or 'your way of thinking' being out of kilter with reality (as opposed to the depression reflecting reality)... thus being at least prepared to countenance stategies that you would have dismissed outright before, you stand a better chance of getting out of the hole you find yourself in. I can't find a better way of saying that it actually requires a leap of faith either in someone or something that you respect, who may hold the key/s for you. You still have to go through the doors.

No not insensitive, just lack of understanding Anastasia. Is hard to understand another until you've walked the trail of life in their shoes. sometimes depression isn't something you can just snap out of, it is a hormonal imbalance that is out of your control, and you need medicine to sort it out, like a diabetic needs insulin, because their body isn't making enough. The world can be a beautiful place, but it isn't just beautiful, it is also dark and cruel. You can go swimming in the river, but watch out for the crocodiles. You can feel health, but watch out for the diseases... someone who has just lost their home and family to a bomb being dropped on them from a foreign country, is going to find it hard to find anything beautiful about their existence. And I'm sure they would feel far from laughing and moving on...

You were given a prime example of what the onset of increased serotonin does to a person when I started a "be nice to travellers," thread a short while back. Before I went on the medication, I must say in all honesty, I couldn't have given a fuck about anyone but myself and my family and friends. A month and half of 40mg cipramil had me crusading like a maniac..lol. I mean, alot of this materialism and consumerism lark stems from our cultural conditioning. We're born and raised into a world where it's considered a norm to go out and earn money and then to spend it again on things. "There are more important things than things," are some wise words spoken. In our shiny, metallic age of instant gratification, we're urged to consume, to rely on temporary material satisfactions. We consume, we get that 'rush' that you speak of, from our new toy, the novelty wears off and we're left wanting more. We're encouraged to upgrade, replace, elevate, renew, refresh..asif our worlds and our happiness depend on it. And alot of ppl think it does. What we miss out on is a thorough spiritual renewal. Off course, spirituality isn't prodcutive. Anything which may negatively affect the economy, is a no-no. All we get in school is "what do you want to be?" we never get a chance to learn about how we want to be? I must say that serotonin increases in my own head have had their benefits in that, yes, I am more altruisitic, more emotive and I feel a strong connection to those around me, but this go's alot deeper than chemicals in the brain. What we need to address is our whole social heritage. That's a task which would take as long to unravel as it did to build.

Now I am actually being a little sensitive here... but I suffer from chronic depression big style. And what I posted comes from what I have learned from my experience. Maybe I didnt phrase it right, but I never meant to imply that anyone snaps out of it. But I have wasted a lot of time lurking in the dark side not realizing that its really gray. And nowhere did I mean to say that medicines wont help. Looking on the bright side to me doesnt mean making something up to make yourself feel better, its acknowledging and appreciating what you can do to improve your situation. Sometimes that means acknowledging you need medicine. Sometimes that means acknowledging that you are going to grieve for a while but let yourself learn from it. A lot of people seem under the impression that concentrating on the dark side of things will make you sound smarter or more insightful, but honestly you just seem frightened and held back from your own potential. And looking on the bright side isnt telling everyone else they have to be like you, its just testifying to what works for you. Its funny, but there are many examples of people in extraordinarily harsh circumstances who do just that, find the humorous side and move on. But those are unique people and I dont think I am one of them.