A sonnet and coke please.

That isn't a link, Scott, at least not a clickable link. The way things work here is you really need to read and comment on others work before expecting them to read yours. It's a mistake that many new members make, I guess because they're fired up with enthusiasm about their writing. I'm sure you mean well (as do I), but it will be to your advantage to give before your ask. http://www.abctales.com/node/556181

Ouch! I did the self-same thing, so I apologise for the breach of etiquette. I have to confess though that it would never have accurred to me to comment on other people's work as a newbie. I would have assumed that one had to prove one's own writing merit (such as it is) before presuming to tell others where they had gone right or wrong. Clearly that's not the case, but I would think that it might be a common mistake. cj

Most of us have breached the common etiquette at least once, so not to worry. But don't feel that your contributions to other writers' works are unwelcome just because you're new.

Having a read, I think the first sonnet is the strongest (and funniest); this may sound a bit, I dunno, old fashioned, but the *lack* of profanity gives the street-level topic that much more humour. I loved 'heartburn in a box made up in grease', just a great line. The third sonnet is the next strongest: I'm not sure about the line 'shivers penetrate cuddles': it just doesn't work. The couplet endings one each one are good, especially (again) the first and third's couplets. The second sonnet feels like it had to be worked at more, and still doesn't quite gel as well as the others; the imagery isn't as strong. Hope this helps!

"I would have assumed that one had to prove one's own writing merit (such as it is) before presuming to tell others where they had gone right or wrong." Really good point. I never thought of this. ~ I'll Show You Tyrants * Fuselit * The Prowl Log * Woe's Woe

I must say that I think every new member deserves one self-flag... it helps to be noticed - some fall through the net, and shows that a member wants to have feedback and stuff. I think people may not comment on a new writer's work sometimes because they don't know if that person is open to it. So self-flagging is fine by me, and I'll always respond to self-flags when they're from new members. Also, if someone does want help with their work, how do they show it? Do they have to wait for another member to flag them? It seems to go against what this site is about. Maybe there should be another forum, one which is called Help Wanted, where people can flag work they'd like other members to take a look at. What do people think?

I think it's an excellent idea. It would act as an ice-breaker for people who might otherwise be too bashful to ask for criticism. It should probably have a limit on it though.

I think there's a simpler solution. Within Gen Diss, we can have a thread that's 'pinned' to the top (like the rules of the forum are), called 'New Members'. In there, new memebers can introduce themselves, and request crit if they wish. Every now and then, we can 'unpin' the thread, and let it fall away (replacing it, of course, with a new one). This would prevent the thread ever going into pages and pages and pages. I think there should also be a link on the front page for new / prospective new members to a page that outlines what the site's about, and informing of etiquette (no more than 3 stories, for a start!) and linking to the 'pinned' introductory thread. It seems like a good solution becasue it requires no site changes. I've mentioned it breifly before, but if people are agreeable then I think we should go ahead. Scott- Sincerely, I'm sorry for hijacking this thread but if we can get this sorted it'll make it all much easier for new members to come. Ben

Set limits don't seem to work well on this site... I like the idea, too, but just by posting on the main page I'm asking for help - sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't - as it is with everything we hope for.

Like Scottjc I'm also a newbie and although I clicked through the whole site and read the FAQ, I wasn't aware of the etiquette. I just thought that ABCtales welcomes new writers who want to develop their writing skills (like me).