I read ferguswergus by chance

Fergus, this is how part of your very short piece reads: "An old habit. A one hundred thousand pound ring. A million dollar dresses. A real smile." Clearly there's a minor error there, and as the piece is so short it is a bit jarring. It should be "dress" singular, not "dresses" plural. (Alternatively, take away the "A".) This does not detract from the fact that it's a masterpiece of compression and a powerful statement. As an editor, I edited. Most submissions that I received when the mag. was being printed needed some changes. I am as prone to careless mistakes as anyone else, and you will find similar errors in my own work. I pointed out this one in yours only because in a work so short it jars. I would also add that I wouldn't have bothered if I'd thought your work without merit. This is NOT a personal attack!

My old tutor used to say, bless him, that you know you've become a 'real' writer when you find yourself editing as you read. As he'd been a Guardian editor for a good many years, I swiftly took note, as you can imagine... I'm sure Cellar didn't mean this as a personal attack, Fergus. I find myself doing the same.

Thanks, Andrea!

Hi all, I am an avid reader of that dashing Scotsman,Fergus!! He has a wicked sense of humour. I hope he gets the fame he deserves!!! Best wishes, Zweeti

Well, gotta take a squizz at this guy, then... Welcome Christelle, by the way...lots of Clogs on here.

Ah, Fergus...you wouldn't, heaven forbid, be blowin' your own trumpet, would you, Christelle? A Clog's English would never be that bad!!! 'Fess up...

Nope, Eric. It is you who are wrong. The piece in question, I scribbled in a note pad in Geneva. And I typed it out the same way. How about a million dresses, at a buck each? She could afford them. I see your point, but you're not my agent/editor, so you don't have to pat yourself on the back for spotting what you thought was a careless error. It wasn't. The rules of grammar do not have to be adhered to. Ever. Try telling Joyce he'd made a minor error when he came up with, for example, overjoicing. I didn't think the point of this website was to have some obscure editor tell you a word was "wrong." I'm not offended in the slightest, mind. Wait til I start posting some of my odder stuff. (and odder IS a word. At least, it is now.)

yes andrea, zweeti = christelle = fergus = wergus = trumpet blower.

wel sayed fegrus

Busted!

damn! i was just working on jean-pierre's accent, too..."as anyone read pomes of robert, e is wonderful pote..."

thang kyoo a million time. Eric shood reed James Kelman.

'as eny one rrread rrroberres po etry? eez wunnerful an e is zuch a good looking man with the body of ercule. damm I av lost my gel

why thank you, KY person whom i do not know at all. and what an exotic email address you have, is there an accompanying website?

AH, DAMN! I've been RUMBLED!!!! Ok. It's a fair cop, guv. I'll come along quietly etc... Christelle has been consigned to the WPB. Zweeti, however, is real, and living in Belgium. And, I'll admit, an accomplice in my cunning ploy. And I would have got away with it, if it wasn't for you meddling kids...

Erm, Fergus, 'overjoicing' is not a grammatical error. You're quite right, of course, grammatical rules don't have to be adhered to - unless you want to get published, that is... And I still don't think Eric meant any offence.

Alors je suis in Belgium!!! And its all true..I read ferguswergus by chance and hes still my hero!! Regards, Zweeti

ws beeing ironik also Joice ws Jenius which you knot ericorrect

Out of the mouths of babes, eh, Fergie? Almost full marks for inventiveness re names though. Next time try (for female Clogs), Reina, Joke (no kidding!), Margo, Jolien, Monica or Marjolein.

welcome fergus, yer daft bugger :-)

Andrea - I didn't say 'overjoicing' was a grammatical error. Neither is 'jocoserious', which is what I have been through this thread. I know fine Eric wasn't intending to cause offence. He knows me well enough to understand my jocoserious nature, i think. And I, his. And do you really think getting published depends on grammatical perfection? Read Molly's Soliloquy (sp?), the final chapter of Joyce's Ulysees. You will find no punctuation, and a style which totally ignores the rules of grammer. And it is, in my lowly opinion, one of the greatest pieces of writing ever. i ressed mye kays ********************* ****************** ***smile*** *****

tonstant readerweader fwowed up.

zweeti - you sound just to good to be true. you remind me of richard w. but that's another curious orange.

Hi again Well speaking as an exiled Geordie, living in Belgium, Im well used to waffles! LOL, Zweeti

PS....regarding curious oranges..try reading 'Juice' by polish-mark.....tasty or what! Zweeti

I like Fergus's epigrammatic critiques of Scottish (and, to a lesser extent, British) values and hypocrisy. However such pieces as the one about Princess Diana and Mother Teresa are spoilt by typos: "dresses" should be "dress". Well done anyway, Fergus. (And yes, I know him, but this isn't a put-up job!)

Thank you Zweeti for my first ever recommendation! (heart begins to flutter wildly) You've made my day...

is "polish mark" an order?

hahahahaha!!! Love from Czech Mate

gets soft cloth and can of mr. sheen just in case ...

He is my flat mate and he does need a polish.

Funny you should mention polish! I've just submitted a piece about the ideal stuff to use! Fancy a buff? http://www.abctales.com/abcplex/viewstory.cgi?s=5861

Thanks spag, could do with a polish. It also refers to the country of my ancestors. Depends what mood I'm in...

Nnaahh, eric. It was irony Y'see?

your wit astounds me

Well I say Polish-Mark..you're more than welcome!! Another kindred spirit, eh Ferg? LOL Have a good day! Zweeti

Please don't over inflate his ego. Next thing he will go running around my flat screaming " THEY LOVE ME! I AM SO GREAT" etc...

Polish_Mark that is

Dear Spaghetti, No prob..he can always run round my place..with or without his orange juice..although he may well have to play 2nd fiddle to Fergus! LOL.....Zweeti

Me thinks he would love to run round your place.

So be it!! LOL

I'll tell him when he gets back from school. LOL

Zweeti, I would run around your place for eternity, if it would make you smile... Not sure about Fergus though.

Hi Mark, Oohh you go to school too?!!? Do you give me permission to read 'Juice' to my class? They'd love it ..I'msure! As for making me smile, you already have ;-)) Have a good day Zweeti PS Fergus is no problem..he's on shifts!! LOL

Since I started it,I'd like to declare this thread closed. Unless zweeti and polish mark are busy hanging on to it...LOL And,Eric: you should NEVER say that a particular word in someone's work is WRONG. Nobody can say that as no one can say ANYTHING created by another is wrong. Being a mag editor,you should know this.