Pop Farcicol

I don't what's more disturbing. That they queued all night; that there were significantly more than 1,500 of them; that there's a 'right look'; that the programme will be watched by millions. Bah! to the whole shabby venture!

well, the right look is presumably 'good-looking'. and fair enough. the whole essence of the job is to stare dreamily out of little girls' magazines if male, or raunchily if female. and little girls are notoriously discriminating about who they want to look at/like. what PI revealed more than anything was how many self-deluders there are out there. the ones who actually made it through the rounds all seemed to have previous experience, training, play musical instruments etc. i quite enjoyed Pop Idol, actually. i would have thought that PI had exhausted all eligible candidates though, such that this new one will simply be a second opp for the rejects. perhaps the YMCA girl will win it.

One of the rejects from Pop Idol is currently number one with a catchy enough song. I find that quite funny.

They're killing music and they're doing it so everyone gets a turn.

It's only the early rounds where people with no discernible talent except self-belief get that crushed out of them that are entertaining. Perhaps it is like female tidying up - you need to make things a lot worse before they get better, and we will actually move to a point where talentless tossers give up on ideas of becoming famous and we actually get people with some innate abilities moving into the place of current non-entities. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I'm an optimist. Anything has to be better than Coldplay and their 'well-crafted' songs.

Now as I was saying, Elvis Presley as dead as he is..........

Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice, oh Stoat begat of Hen? #Those fingers through my hair, that sly come hither stare, that strips my conscience bare, it's wiiiiitchcraaaaft#

Ooo, it makes me mad! I'd never audition for something like that though. I'd hate to be a wannabe. I much prefer being the most successful Henstoat in the world, with a side interest in expanding his audience through dealings with people in the industries. It feels much better than the doubt that comes with aspiring to be anything you haven't got a good chance of becoming already. It's getting the balance of contentedness and ambition right - or smugness and greed, if you will.

Think about it, though... I mean, did Mao Zedong as the son of a peasant farmer stand a good chance of becoming leader of China and arguably the most powerful autocrat of the twentieth century? I dare say the answer would be no. You must push out and transcend. You must do more than be - you must become. To save your disappointment, however, I advice against your going on Pop Idol. You don't have the right look. Arf! ^_^

Yeah, but think of all the other Mao Zedong's who went off to become leaders of China and failed. Think of all the broken children on the roadside to Russia's gymnastic and polevaulting success. For every Svetlana Feofanova, there must be many, many unheard of also-rans. For every success, there's a load of disappointed people. And for what? A dictator who probably didn't help matters much, and a pole vaulter who, while being extremely good, will be forgotten long before she dies. Except by me. I'll never forget you, Svetlana! But much better those many people were contented with what they became, than all but one of them face failure so that this one can achieve a temporary state of godliness.

I guess that since the age limit for Pop Idol was 16 - 25, there will be a whole new generation of just-turned-16-year-olds ready to humiliate themselves before the nation this time round. To think that pop music used to be good. Huh. And now we're reduced to this! Britney burned out at 21, Christina is a slut, Steps have broken up and Hearsay are dependent on Myleene's chest to keep them in the news. Will and Gareth are glorified jukeboxes. Come back Whigfield! We love you!

Like Whigfield!

Farcicol. Now there's a word you don't see very often. Is it the name of a new Boy Band? Whigfield - now you're cooking with gas! How many songs have the word 'Saturday' in the title?

and then, suddenly, up steps Darius. I'm a 'credit where credit's due' kind of guy and here's a case. He was painfully desparate to be a guru the first time round and a little more sedated and fitting in the second but his drive to succeed amongst all the wannabe's was enormous and it showed. Now he's at number one with a self written song and not just regurgitating some sixties classic like G and W (note neither has done "puppet on a string" it would be too painfull for them). Darius was the most desparate of them all and yet he was also the only one who stood up and said "sod you lot" when he was rejected. They all stood there saying, "I want this soooooooo much" but when they were told they were back on the scrap heap they just nodded and ran away crying. Well done Darius.....now f**k off and let's have some decent music on.

In the sixties and the seventies there were two music genres that sought to be 180 degress against the normal sort of bollocks that had been played up until then. I usually give a song ten or fifteen seconds the first time I hear it to decide if I want to hear any more, like on the radio. A lot of music today is bollocks. I was in a record shop today and I listened to four CDs and one was bollocks, and I left it there. The only reason I fished that particularly one out was that it had a cover of a Slade toon on it. But it was a mistake. In fact I said to the girl serving me that Tailgunner was bollocks. I wanted to dance like crazy to Blink 182. That's the thing. I wish more clubs stopped playing "dance music" and played The Sound. The sound that fills my ears every day.

well, i told you you should have left your hat at home!