I need someone to look at this

2 posts / 0 new

Topic locked

Sat, 2004-01-24 16:34

Could someone read that and tell me what's wrong with it? Don't ease up in any way, really let me have it. I know there's something wrong with my writing but I can't pick it out myself and it really bothers me.

Thank you alot in advance and Beanna Dhia duit.

Tue, 2004-02-03 00:47

Satish Nayer

Robert - my suggestions. I had a dream last night, walking alone A truck grated past, a car pulled up I walked on, heard a voice My name, drifting on the wind Like pollen to a plant, remembered tones She ran to me, stood without words I leaned in, a kiss or a touch And fell, my face in the dirt She had gone, like daffodils after spring In my mind, the wish remains Hope this helps.

Topic locked