Sodding Valentine's Day...

i got one from my wife.

I got one from my wife too - and a box of Haribo. What could be more romantic? We went to see Joanna Neary at the Komedia in Brighton - and she was funny. Can't ask much more of a comedienne. I gather she's about to get her own show on Channel Five. On that performance I would recommend it.

We went to an absolutely gorgeous gig with Irish singer Juliette Turner, supported by an extraordinary young man on piano and vocals called 'Duke Special'. All in all a fabulous evening. Perfect for Valentine's evening.

We went to a special Valentine's day concert on Sunday evening, proper classical music but nothing too weird - that was Debbie's choice. Last night we went to a poetry event at the Contact theatre - my choice of course - where two teams of four "competed" on the theme of love, for or against; the anti-love team won on the vote and were presented with a chocolate heart, which they promptly threw on the floor and stamped on. I got to read a couple of things at the open mike slot.

Ah my favourite atwood....

Ooh, you're so bitter. But then again I haven't been through what you've been through so what the hell do I know?

... well you can recognise talent, tony ...

I wasn't making a personal statement with the posting of the above poem, just trying to spark you all off on some comment on the day of romance! I'm not a bitter person. I'm painfully romantic (ok, so you're all saying - 'nah, never!'), so it does me good to look at the cynical side every so often. I also understand that, a bit like Christmas, Valentine's can be difficult for some people.

I was always led to believe that valentines were meant to be anonymous and for someone lusted after. It always pissed me off when I failed to send the 'obvious' ones and was given a tough time. Now I wouldn't bother at all, if I wanted to say something to someone, I'd just say it and dispense with the stupidity of youth; the stupidity of age is bad enough.

Some people have trouble being sappy sentimental romantic, so they are sappy sentimental romantic in their own way. They will talk about things, real things like apartments rather than intangible things like how much they dig somebody.

vd that says it all. I'm not romantic in the slightest and the thought of someone bombarding me with so called romantic gifts is the most awful thought. Tho someone out there wants to buy me a season ticket for Arsenal's new ground, I would most gratefully and humbly accept

Here's a true Valentine's day story I heard today: A couple of years ago one of the girls in our church went to a school which was semi-segregated i.e. it had a boys' half and a girls' half, at least in the playground. On Valentine's day some of the boys bought red roses and sneaked them across the divide to the girls they fancied; unfortunately the principal took a dim view of this and collared the boys responsible and beat them. He then went after the recipients of the roses; the girl from church was actually acting as a go-between and was taking a rose to her friend when she was intercepted and beaten as well! She got no rose for herself - but at least she was laughing when she told me this, the poor kid was probably about 12 at the time. Don't believe it? Well, it was in Libya.

It's valentines day and, of course, I'm in love as I have been for nine years with the most beautiful woman in the world.

Roses are Red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses are wilting the violets are dead The Sugar bowls empty And so is your head ============== Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. ==================== Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face I love your smile, your face, your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming My love, you take my breath away. But what have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "go to hell" What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Roses are red Toffee is sticky I'm on my tea break Fancy a quickie? [%sig%]

SOME CARDs FROM ME Missis, Ever since I first saw you move with the strength and grace of a noble warrior across the floor of an abc event...I knew you were the one...oooohhhh ...how long must I wait... xxxxxx Beloved Tony, Bald is the new hair. You are sexy baby! j xxx Rita, you are so special I might become a lesbian. grrrrr Rose Des Rochers You Canadian Sex God! Love a secret admirer and his guide dog

Jude, they are perfect for vd I've passed them round the office.

I haven't got vd, I'm celibate

My postie had to be ambucoptered to the nearest spinal injuries unit after attempting to carry his sack down my drive.

My postie had to be ambcoptered to the nearest testicle injuries unit after his sack got jammed in my letterbox

you know what I mean Valentines Day kind of vd.

YES!!!! After forty three years I've got one! {I mean apart from Judes sweet cyber-card above)