help! i am turning into my mother ...
Sun, 2001-12-09 23:07
#1
help! i am turning into my mother ...
at the secondhand market today i longed to buy a jug ... it was SUCH a wonderful jug ... it was gigantic and shaped like an orange ... llama says "it was a huge, bloated orange ball of a jug with a slime green handle" ... but i loved it ...
my mother is always returning from charity shops and jumble sales and suchlike with pieces of china ... "oooh" she'll say "look at this dear little jug ..."
i didn't buy it but only because i didnt have any money ...
what is happening to me ... WANTING TO BUY JUGS???? ... i AM turning into my mother ...
is it inevitable???
what can i DO about it????
spag
You mean..my god..other people have parents? Damn. I thought I was the only one. Dammit all to hell
spag
What....you mean..normal people have parents? Dammit. That means I am normal. No I aint I tells ya.
llama
It was a horrible jug.
Ivy is nothing like her mother. I have never known her to wear shell suits though she did once have a criminal fringe.
Tom Saunders
Society has a criminal fringe.
sarah_browne
Is your mother really THAT bad?!
Wolfgirl
It happens. Tragically. I told my little girl yesterday to eat up all her food because there are starving children in Africa. She gave me a sarcastic glare and then said 'So go get a bag mummy...we'll send it to them...' I think the antidote is lots of wild sex, swearing and burping (not necessarily at the same time). However, if your mother does all these things...perhaps there is an anti-maternal therapist somewhere.
Will he do a group discount?
Andrea
*absolutely scandalised!*
Thumps Fish on back...
fish
i swore i would never count to three in order to compel my children to obey me ... my mother did it to me and it was terrifying ...
it STILL works on someone who is 15 (my oldest son) ... and i can even do it in public by just holding up one finger ...
tho wolfie i think your solution sounds worth a try ... *goes of swearing and burping and looking hopeful*
martin_t
staying in is the new going out isn't it fish ?
fish
yes marty but what has THAT go to do with anything?
dogstar
Fish, i don't think you need new jugs.
*peers at fish's jugs
*holds up score cards...
9 & 10...
sorry, that's often how it is..
fish
well the jug wasn't NEW dogstar ... and the quality of my old jugs wasn't in question ... (whaddya MEAN 9????)
what IS in question ... is the inevitability of turning into a woman who "dresses like a rhino which has recently charged through Oxfam" ...
no matter what i tell her she is unmoved and insists that a brown and white striped hand knit zip up cardie can be paired with turquoise shell suit bottoms ...
martin_t
*hopes fish's jugs aren't second hand*
dogstar
*offers to show andrea his interjection
dogstar
martin, what a bazaar thought
*takes off brown and white striped hand knit zip up cardie and discards it surreptitiously
martin_t
*hands dogstar a nice cup of tea*
fish
i'll thank you NOT to discuss my jugs in such brazen fashion on a serious thread about genetic horror ...
martin_t
dogstar...i didn't think she was listening
Tom Saunders
*fetches bucket of water*
fish
*is ALWAYS listening*
justyn_thyme
Apply brakes before you actually run over the lady!
Last resort: form jug band. ask melfish to write lyrics.
mississippi
From my observation ( and I was scolded for it!) fish's jugs looked like a perfectly matched pair. Oh yes, and I noticed the wagging finger too!
Tom Saunders
Bright orange jugs would certainly be useful in the dark, especially if they were luminous. They'd be quite difficult to mislay as well. Perhaps the addition of some flashing lights would be a further help.
I think some people turn into their parents and others just never grow up. I know which category I fall into (throws rattle out of pram).
Andrea
*scrutinises interjection with extreme fascination*
dogstar
Care for an expletive little girl?
*offers bag of expletives
dogstar
it's funny, but i quite like it when my mum says "you're like your dad..." but i don't like it when people tell me "you're like your brother"...
i'll fool the lot of them yet, and go ivy's way and turn into her mother...
IVY! have you washed your hands, young madam? And DO get that pig down from your head! That is NOT acceptable behaviour...
Liana
*snatches bag and runs off cramming mouth full*
robert
i don't think i'm turning into my parents, but i'm worried that my 7 year old boy is turning into me...i caught him sneering dismissively at Top of the Pops the other day
funny how we spend our first dozen years trying to be like our parents and the rest of our lives hoping desperately that we haven't turned out anything like them
fish's mum seemed quite sweet really
fish
robert! ... that sweetness is an elaborate cover up ... she is evil EVIL!!!!
and what's more i am more or less convinced now that any day i shall start saying things like:
"i like cucumber but cucumber doesnt like ME ..."
mind you have been enjoying telling my daughter (who is the spit of me) that she is going to turn into me and that seeing as i am turning into MY mother ... she will eventually also turn into my mother and we shall all have shopping baskets on wheels and beige anoraks and make jam ...
the look of horror on her face is terribly enjoyable ....
*shows dirty hands to dogstar*
*pats pig*
fish
tut tut tut ...
Linsi
Fish, I laughed out loud when I read your "I like cucumber, but cucumber doesn't like me!" Is this something that happens to people when they reach retirement?
I have heard loads of people say the cucumber thing, and I am always baffled... How on earth can a small slice of food consisting basically of water disagree????????
What next? "oh, the air I just breathed is going to repeat on me later.." sorry for being facetious but this serious issue needed addressing.
Linsi
Please don't let me turn into my mother and like BonJovi, please don't let me turn into my mother and like BonJoivi...
etc, etc..
I am slightly concerned with the fact that quite often on the way to work I will, instead of listening to my own personal tapes will turn on the radio and *enjoy* some of the chart music..... Help me!
Eddie Gibbons
I'm definitely turning into my Dad. I often catch myself mid-mannerism and think 'God, that's just like him'. I don't mind, though - I love him to bits. Funniest (as in humorous) person I've ever known. Oh dear, I'm beginning to sound well-adjusted. Not good for a writer. Maybe I should take up knitting.. where is Fecky these days?
Tom Saunders
Onions repeat on me.
onions
on me
on me
on me
on me
dogstar
so what you're saying is... have kids if we want to live forever... but we're not us at all because... we're actually our predecessors... except they're not 'pre' at all because they're lurking, biding time until BLAM! they're here and we're not... is that it?
*thinks back to childhood as a girl in bearsden academy,spending occasiional evenings helping mum to pick up shrapnel from last night's air raids...
fish
i had a passing interest in transactional analysis ... this theorises that we have three ego states within us ... the parent the adult and the child ...
the parent ego state consists of the introjection into us of our parents and parent figures .. their thoughts feelings morals and whatnot ... and as their parent ego states consist of their introjected parents and those of theirs and so on and so on ... TA would have us believe that yes ... we do stretch back generation upon generation ... blah blah ...
a TA counsellor WOULD have you picking up shrapnel dogstar ...
( i am not saying i believe it all ... just that it is interesting ...)
Tom Saunders
They ferk you up your mum and dad
dogstar
is that MY mum and dad or FISH's mum and dad that ferk us up?... quick, tell me so i know who is the safest to go to for chrimbo dinner...
fish
if you introjected ME as a parent figure young dogstar then it would be MY mother and father too ferking you urp ...
best not to ... *kindly warning*
... go to the star family for chrimbo ...
dogstar
i would gladly introject you, fish... just tell me when and where...
fish
*chokes on tea*