Things You Don't Want To Hear ...
Sun, 2002-01-20 16:45
#1
Things You Don't Want To Hear ...
littlefish saying:
"dan wants to know how you get superglue off your skin ..."
Lucy_fur
Anything by Cliff Richard.
Crowther Woods
From your new neighbours-
"say could I borrow *insert item desperately needed, but not needed enough to disappoint the new neighbors*? I'll give it back as soon as I can"
Linsi
"I thought you had bought the rizlas?"
Tan63
I thought you had them.
Linsi
"no, I said I would bring the roaches!!"
stormy weather
yes, thrush often leaves that funny aftertaste
hoxtoneye
* On the doorstep 9.00 Sunday Morning*
"We want you to know that Jesus loves you"
Andrea
Jess asking:
'Why do trees grow...?'
fish
from anyone:
"what's that smell of burning?"
Liana
from someone you love desperately - "this isnt working out, is it?"
Tom Saunders
From Liana: "Come on over and bring your duster."
Ralph
From a fellow writer on the site: "You can't write poetry Ralph, only fiction."
Andrea
From (insert name of own personal toyboy here): " I CAN'T tell my mother about you - you're the same age as SHE is..!"
aridayle
From parents:
'What is that weird smell in your room?'
Mark Yelland-Brown
Your teeth are fine, it's your gums that will have to go!
Mark Yelland-Brown
I love to here that! So bla to you. Although you've got a point, I would still be in my Spiderman JimJams!
justyn_thyme
From boss: "Do you have a moment? I'd like to speak to you."
Translation: You're fired.
fish
how about:
"i love you"
?
skydolphin
From God:
I don't have the answers to all of your questions........!!!!!
:o(((((((((((((((
Mark Ashley
"your application has not been successful on this occasion"
Hoxtoneye
That ceiling needs painting.................
Primate
"There's some bird at the bar who I says I short changed her and she's getting arsey - can you go and deal with it for me?"
andrew pack
"When you get back from work today, I think we need to talk"
It is the delay in the fear. My last boss used to leave messages on my desk - "Need a word with you when I get back" - your guilt and fear does all the work, then she'd get back and I'd go in all sheepish and she'd say "Can you show me how you do cut and paste again ?"
Mykle
Tony Blair REAllY IS a Labour Prime Minister!
Tom Saunders
From the BBC: "We're proud to announce a whole new range of DIY, gardening and cookery programmes."
chant
nice one, Tom! liked that posting a lot!!
muzzy
"Here's your cup of tea mum"....."Oh thanks! but we have no milk"
"Thats ok the cat left some"
CMEast
No, thats my belly button :)
funky_seagull
" So hows your job search going? "
Tom Saunders
"So you're a writer, are you?"
mississippi
Goodbye
Tom Saunders
And sometimes: "Hello."
aridayle
From brother:
Naomi, you know that CD/book/video/computer game I borrowed? Well...
funky_seagull
" we are sorry to inform you that the train has been delayed, this is due to a technical problem, concerning leaves on the track. Once again we apologise for any inconvenience this may cause passengers."
jane
"the number you are calling is no longer available..."
chant
especially if it's 999 you're dialling.
1legspider
In a cubicle, morning after the vindaloo.
'Sorry, ran out of bog roll yesterday!'
Eddie
--- and next, I'd like to read my latest poem, 'My Childhood in Auld Aiberdeen'...