I wish I'd thought of saying that at the time.

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I wish I'd thought of saying that at the time.

I went to an A.A. meeting on friday, met an old friend and we repaired to a cafe for a coffee. I was asked how 'do you want your coffee?' and I replied 'strong but with extra milk.' But the young fella who was serving went into one. 'You can't have strong coffee with extra milk, it's a contradiction in terms!' he ranted. I was taken aback and there are times when I wished I had a violent nature, because he was implying I was stupid. I sort of feebly said 'no I like 2 spoons of coffee and extra milk. 'This is filter coffee' he snapped. So you can't have filter coffee strong? I heap 2 tablespoons of filter coffee for 1 cup at home. And yes I got a cup of very feeble coffee which probably had about a teaspoon of filter coffee in it. Why didn't I snap back - loudly - 'why the fuck are you asking people how they want their coffee if you're not prepared to do it, and why are you being so bloody rude to a paying customer?' You see - it's Sunday and it's still bugging me.

Of course it's not a contradiction in terms - rich flavour is not lost by adding extra milk in the same way that crap weak coffee can't be made to taste better by putting hardly any milk in. A few months ago we went to a restaurant in Derbyshire and were served up some really nasty, weak, stale-tasting coffee and the cheeky sod of a manager suggested that it was our taste that was at fault and we were probably used to drinking instant!
You should've made it Irish, Styxo! Normal coffee is always going to be pretty insipid by comparison.
I had just been to an A.A. meeting Rokki and one must try. But what I'm trying to get at is: everyone out there must have had instances where they thought after the event, why didn't I say that?


I'm surprised you feel like you failed because you didn't start a slanging match with a member of the service industry over a cup of coffee. Someone annoyed you and yet you were polite. What's wrong there?
Ha! I always think of something -frightfully- witty to say in retort, well after the opportunity has passed. The one time I -did- say something was to a real beezatch who works in the servery in my office building. She has/had DREADFUL customer service skills, bad to the level that you wonder why she bothers coming to work in the morning if she hates her job so much. Anyway, after the umpteenth rude treatment from her, I confronted her in the hallway in front of the servery, asked her point blank why she was so rude (as an American in Britain, I feel I can easily get away with being blunt...) wasn't -she- there to -serve- people, told her I wasn't the only one to comment on her rudeness (I got a couple of stunned looks from the others in the servery, who then nodded emphatically at me when I mentioned 'rude'), etc. Then I wrote a very nasty letter to her supervisor, who chewed her out, apparently, as after that she was as sweet as saccharine to me. But I never ordered food from her again, just in case.
There are things I wish I'd said *had I been there* if that makes any sense, when people relate tales of maltreatment to me. I generally have too short a temper to leave anything unsaid when someone irritates me, but they spoil it by withdrawing hastily. I guess I wish I was wittier.
I find that if it was a misunderstanding it usually gets resolved, because both parties are indignant. Many's the time an exchange of heated harangues has dissolved into a scratching of heads and apologies, and that's better than one person going away thinking the other is a prat.
I still feel I was in the right. He had ne reason to shame me publicy. And yes there are times when a swift right hand to the chops would have resolved the problem.


resentment is from latin words "Re" and "sentire" Sentire means to "to feel". As long as we resent an injustice done to us, we continue to be injured by it. Having said that I am an AWFUL one to talk - I have a huge sack of resentments on my back
God you learn such stuff on this site, thanks Jude.


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