Iceman - there is an old anecdote about management consultants along those lines - the consultant stands up and says "Don't worry folks, I have a solution. Firstly, let's imagine we do have a can-opener..."
Can we plait Liana's hair and make a bridge to nearby island with a Morrisons?
Can I volunteer for a position please. I'd like to put myself forward as island 'friend to all' but that doesn't sound like doing a lot while everyone else is sawing and digging and such like. And it might be hard to maintain long term. so hows about latrine digger (have we got one of those yet?) or applier of linament to mossy bites? or wild animal tamer and domesticator.
liana could spin really quickly with all of us hanging on, we then let go at the required velocity and fly to the other island...
...getting back could be a problem though....
*tries to picture the scene*
*sends idea to Hollywood studio... :))*
I think we would need to work out who's sleeping where at some stage, assuming we do fall asleep. Also, what about baths? Communal? Segregated?
Just a thought...
iceman
Iceman - no messing under bedsheets yet then ?
Liana no you can't be on your own - that's not on
I was getting all excited at story line come on Iceman Liana all on her own - surely that's not part of the ............
all the others escaped by helicopter !!!! was it a happy helicopter with a blind drunk pilot ?
*falls off chair - knocks bag of half eaten jelly babies on the floor *
Liana your not on your own their bound to come back - honest - (they'd better)
You can only getemplyment benefit if you are prepared to be retrained as a ....
suggestions for what Missis can be retrained as placed in a brown paper envelope and sent to new thread - which I'm not starting cause I'm a coward!
Iceman - demanding person needs daily fix of abc big island
Actually this prompts an interesting angle to the thread. Who among us actually possesses the really invaluable skills necessary to help a community survive, and I don't mean solicitors and accountants or insurance agents. And people who sit on river banks at weekends with fishing rods and flasks of tea are not really any use either. I also don't mean those that like to think of themselves as being good at things but have no proper experience, I mean those with REAL survival/practical skills.
01.14
am
Ari and Iceman are still playing cards, Missi has fallen asleep with a really good draw of the cards. All iceman and ari have between them is a busted flush. Over by the diary tree, Liana drops down the ladder and strides over to where Iceman and Ari are sitting. "Still playing cards with each other?" Liana says with a smile. Iceman looks up "We're playing cards. If you're in its a new deal." Missi says something about chess in his sleep. Liana tells them what she heard from the diary tree. "They are confiscating all the alcohol." Iceman stands up, "that's okay, I moved the crates from Shelter 2 to my private cache under the huge bush over there." Liana and Ari turn to look. "That isn't a huge bush," says Ari mysteriously, "it's --no --- look, look!......"
Ok Iceman - orders for what !
oh I see - yes hungry
can I have a number 36 and a number (looks intently at take away menu) 24 ... fancy sweet and sour pork - please
or maybe your taking orders for .................. the way my head works - don't think it would be a good idea to continue along this train of thought - the comment would only be removed !
But I think iceman you may have let yourself in for some real funny orders !
I like the way this is shaping up, but I think you're all severly lacking in your religious duties. Where are my tithes?! I keep you people safe from death and diaster due to my intercession with the primative gods of this island!
On sleeping: As long as there's a nice bouncy bed for us all to play on, I don't mind where I sleep.
hopefully Liana's years supply of condoms will have been washed up on the shore otherwise there could well be abc rugrats crawling all over the sand before you could say 'fancy a shag ... coz I am gagging for it?'
and, if it is abc survivor we should be voting people off once we have settled down. conversely to normal life, survivor tactics ensure the most able survivors go first.
hmmm
I would be the lazy old git who would sit on a log all day offering useless advice and complaining that you all weren't doing it right.
It sounds negative but every community needs one, I'd be fulfilling a necessary function.
06.49am
After a night of slumber broken only by the howls from the rich side as even more silly restrictions are placed on the hapless members of that side, the poor side wake up and capture a bed. Over in the middle of the island are a string of wild beds. Iceman and Ari together with Karl jump on some beds and bring them under control. One of them is a bouncy bed which Ari rides back to the shelters. Iceman's bed is quite old and slow but makes it back in time for breakfast. Karl leads a string of beds back with him. Liana immediately selects a divan which she sprawls on having abandoned her sleeping bag as someone has spilt beer on it. Missi is cooking breakfast. "Did you get a bed for me?" he asks. Karl looks over his charges. "Yes," he replies. "There a bit feisty but once you've slept in them, they get better." We clean the sheets and fluff the pillows and tie up three more that have come wandering in.
But a 'too many chiefs and not enough indians' scenario would end up like the House of Commons, icy! A bloody waste of time!
What is needed is hunters, shelter builders, boat builders, etc.
People who can't do anything except assume a superior position are the very ones who usually start wars. And I for one, am quite capable of coordinating myself!
18.58 pm
Missi has been captured by the rich side of the island and forced to build a log cabin for them all to live in. Iceman has abandoned the boat idea after drinking too much home made voddie which Liana had cooked up on the bbq still the poor side of the island have to use. Stormy is held prisoner by the alien bush and Ari has found a new way to dance. Someone has stolen all the sugar and there are exactly three bottles of wine left on the poor side. "Iceman, wake up" says Liana. "Fish has gone." Iceman wakes up in a flash and starts running about looking for Fish. He skids to a halt by the diary tree. "Look there she is with pioden," he says pointing. "But she knows where I hid the wine!" Liana continues fretting. "I think she is bribing them with the wine to let her go over the fence to see if Missi will build her a new house by the seashore." Ari dances by, a smile on her face. Liana and Iceman both look at Ari. Ari says "I moved the wine. They'll never find it now." "Under the piebald camp bed?" Iceman says. Ari rolls her eyes. "Oh you know." Fish falls out of the tree and tears off to where the beds are kept corralled closely followed by Liana. Iceman and Ari are left standing. "I moved the wine to the back of the diary tree where there are no cameras," Iceman says.
Well we would need leaders first of all, and I'd nominate Tony Cook for that role. We'd need to ensure that we built a democracy.
I'm not very handy, but I'm strong, so I'd be willing to labour for George while he builds shelters and such like. I'd happily take on the role of explorer too.
*settles back down relieved Liana's not on her own* - not sure about Stormy's sudden interest in bushes - this bushes business is a bit worrying
*looks out over garden and thinks rain - means time to go on a slug hunt in the 'bushes' - feels nervous about venturing out just in case Stormy has taken to sneeking into bushes in my garden - espeically if they've become ' alien bushes' *
Added to which - my daughter's latest - his name is BEDS - short for Bedwyn - sorry but I can't help myself - I try so hard to keep a straight face everytime I talk to him but all sorts of things go through my mind - now Iceman you've just added to my difficulty - how in hells name am I going to face him without having the impression of you lot chasing acound the place after what seems to be floating feisty bouncy BEDS - ha ha ha ha ha ha - oh no I sense yet more telling off from daughter
Well we would need to organise things like food, shelter, water, where people were going to sleep, so I think I would like to complete a survey and then prepare great lists of things (logistics) with Karl's help.
The most important things would be shelter, water supplies and food in that order.
The rulers of the island will no doubt pass many good laws :)
I would be the surveyor /engineer
.
iceman
I'm an interesting person -- I would be the person who things he knows how to make things (i.e. rope, shelter, fire), spends weeks at it, only to screw it up at the end. I would probably be your first meal.
*falls off chair* - Hay I'm not on the island - I'm at home watching (reading) - how did I manage to get on the island - *goes into a state of shock* - I'm the alleged reader !
*whacks away at toy with more vigour *
Has fish managed to escape the island and join me in watching - I mean reading ?
I'm a builder / plumber / plasterer so I'd help with the shelters and general fabrication. I'd also be able to audit the safety signage for our DDA access protocol..... well lets leave that for now shall we? perhaps later when we've got electricity and other stuff eh?
I can cook - sew - KNIT - am a dab hand with a hammer even being seen with a screwdriver but I hate housework can make things grow without trying - but that which I try to grow tend to die
Oh for the record I'm not at home - I'm here that's why I've got a funny email address thing
Going on my expreience of situations where a small society is maintained outside of the flow of normal life (occupations etc.) I'd probably slip into the role I always slip into, which is housewife/concience. While everyone else is doing the important stuff I'd be sweeping the shelters and washing the plates.
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