War Limericks!

Write some more like that, Paul and we'll get the troops to drop them over Baghdad.... they're bound to have Hussein and his supporters running for the hills.

my partner is driving me mad he says that the war is all bad yet will he switch off the telly? no, he's growing all smelly glued to the news from Baghdad.

The CIA men with their guns Went after Saddam Hussein's sons; Oh, what a disaster! They killed one called Nasser (Well, he never did score many runs!)

Not bad!

Here we go - slightly drunk and watching question time: There is an old goon called Geoff Hoon Who frankly's a bit of a loon He wants a quick war With some "shock and Awe" He must believe in the man in the moon!

Another alcohol fuelled rant: He cites the Geneva Convention Against crimes just too gross to mention From Guantanamo bay And Baghdad to Bombay Is George Bush just an evil invention?

There was a site called ABC Where writers could send stuff for free But several young Turks (To a man boring berks) Made everyone else turn and flee

"Everyone" eh. Hmmm.

There once was a troll, rather boring who couldn't stop putting his oar in he complained of the tedium not seeing his medium of trolldom was leaving us snoring

By the way, "everyone" means "his/her mates" in this troll's language.

I suspect "his".

Some crackers here - I'm hopeless at limericks. But more please!

I’m finding it all rather sad that theyre dropping big bombs on Baghdad Why, if the missiles are ‘smart’, do they tear the wrong buildings apart, leaving innocent folks bandage-clad. I'm not much cop either Tony.

That's pretty good, Choose. You packed a lot into that fourth line though!

Tony, I demand that you have a go. We still have your last effort ringing in our ears!

An uptight oilman from Texas once pretended That God told him divisions should be mended He launched a war on Iraq And when they fought back Said 'that's not what the good lord intended'. There once was a lovely spot in space That was home to the whole human race In the name of doing good They grabbed all they could And now its no longer their place The following is for Louise Christian: There once was a Geneva Convention That at Guantanemo no one was to mention Till some boys of Uncle Sam Got themselves into a jam And remembered theres rules for detention

There's a war on? Don't mean to sound terse, But don't trivialise it in verse, All your pent-up frustration, Like so much flatulation, Makes us all feel not better, but worse.

There once was an internet forum That was widely renowned for decorum Breaking wind was forbidden 'This isn't a midden' And acceptable verse is decided by qorum.

PM Blair who some say is a plunker Launched a war on Saddam the wunker Brave Tone led the attack On the good folk of Iraq From the safety of his Whitehall bunker

There was an old man from Tikrit Whom the world called a nasty old git But the Iraq population Defended their nation From being covered in star-spangled sh*t

Brilliant neil!

We were told modern warfare was neater, This scrabble for oil, short and sweeter, But as casualties mounted The cost became counted In bodies, not pennies, per litre.