a sense of responsibility

* re-enters* sorry, everyone o r r y everyone...............

on a series note i'm weary to go home tonight so aint.......peopel start to generally recognise that i might be different in these hostels. In dundee four years ago when i was homeless i was talking to a memebr of staff in the hsotel where i was staying he reckoned he was there to understand self harm. i told him what i thought the cause was, 'my gender issue' Two nights later i walked down to the tele room and stood and listened outside for a second because i heard loud laughing. They where a lot of big men in there thirties and really hardened alcos and drug users...they wher laughing at jokes at how iwas going to be gang raped, sodomised and murdered. On hearing this i freaked out on to the street and started cutting my face with borken glass and burning my hair. Most of them eventually came out and had alugh and then there was a few threats to beat the fuck out of me. I managed to clam down although in fear of my life as some of these people get gender issues mixed with paedophilia. Two night later over twnety grown men turned on me for talking to a ember of staff about my personell issues and told them to get me out of the hostel. the whole episode knowcked me in to months of series self harm. I think its going to happen again. Its -10-15 in glasgow tonight........... the tour guide eh !!!!!!!!!!!11

people walk proud city stance victorian buildings celtic windows *yeah right*

me me me me thats right, only i do a lot for charity considering my circumstances in life you see so its not all me me, ok thats fine anyway.

oh thats weird i never meant to touch the no 11 and it turned up, wheres uri ?

sometimes i think a lot of your names are jus, like pieces of a software programme, thats my honest evaluation of some of you guys. I might be wrong but i don't think so.

you just seem so void of emotion..........

I couldn't live like that. I don't know it. I could never have said what some of you have said over the last wee while. I could never say that personelly to another human being i understand how life can hurt and make people hard and bitter, but not me, ever...

How long will this series run, Stephen!? "Sense and Responsibility"

I don't know emma but when i'm in my theraputic mode and most who know me know when i say things like above i don't kid on hence my personel probelms, oh theres alot more incidents like this..tonight but good news i googled 'poems for hope' and one of mine is in the top 20 out of more that 6 million. Im going home to face the bullys just like i continue to face them on here. they may rape my arse a million nights but they willl never take my spirit of good and light, nor will they cover up there human right abuse with ignorance. thanks emma

Well done with the poem, is it on here?

I am so proud but my website subscription has run out, anyone, £69. When you google 'poems of hope' my 'poem the dove' comes up and my web site up amongst great poems of hope and now my dove is away, anyway homeless again. Last night when i got back to my hostel there was something on the bed that wasn't there when i went out thats after i was getting court reports done and teh guy was saying that only court officals would learn about my gender problem. They are calling me a whore and stuff just now, im sure it won't be long before the first attack if i go back commences. My posts on the intelligence post are just me trying to protect myself from all the abuse and of cours eme relting world and local problems with my own suffering. I need my web site up and running. Being there in the top 20 is not only a miracle but my will to keep living..why are they doing this to me. I heard two females being assualted outside my window last night and being punched, i have no heating, one set of clothes two important court dates coming up. Having stuff left on my bed in the hostel which is ultimately saying we want to rape you, what do i do ?

Chin up, stephen d!

*curtsys extranvagently, pulls up stockings, sighs, flicks eyes to Lania in anticipation of her frown, sighs again, looks around at the 'freindly' people of glasgo in the cafe, sighs again, thinks theyre quite nice so won't make any rude remarks like i'd planned t,o do fixes balls and curtseys subserveiantly to the management and talks* I really 'hope' you guys have a nice weekend, bless ya all and bless all that walk with ya *curtsys quickly and exits*

*curtsys extranvagently, pulls up stockings, sighs, flicks eyes to Lania in anticipation of her frown, sighs again, looks around at the 'freindly' people of glasgo in the cafe, sighs again, thinks theyre quite nice so won't make any rude remarks like i'd planned t,o do fixes balls and curtseys subserveiantly to the management and talks* I really 'hope' you guys have a nice weekend, bless ya all and bless all that walk with ya *curtsys quickly and exits* bless now theres a funny word.

Stephen... Don't. Because I can be much meaner than you (and my spelling is better).

So you won't accept my offer to phone you and see if I can be of help, Stephy?